Unverified Voracity Lifted Into The Heavens Comment Count

Brian

Hi. I would have packed this into yesterday's UV but internet problems + rehab equaled no. So here's the other stuff.

Local news, 1986. Wolverine Historian digs up a gem:

Five dollar parking and the hair, man. The hair. Check out the defector at around 2 minutes. We need a clip of that guy.

Position clarity and dang. In an interview with Touch the Banner, James Ross says he'll start off at the weakside linebacker spot. With Bolden ticketed for the center, I'm guessing Royce Jenkins-Stone is eventually slid to SAM. Where Kaleb Ringer goes is also probably in the middle.

Also:

I played hockey for a long time, and just being in that fast-paced environment helped, being able to see things. Hockey is really fast; you have to be able to move, and I think that really translates well to the football field.

Ross is 6'1", 225, and fast. If he could skate at all he would have been a crunching bodycheck factory had he stuck with the hockey. Video at TTB suggests he could not skate much as of early high school, but leave me to my lethal bodycheck fantasies.

More playoff stuff. I can't find this [freep] anywhere else, nor does this have a direct quote, but um… as far as reason not to have campus playoffs go this is even better than Bill Hancock's:

[Dave] Brandon understands the advantage a Big Ten team would gain from a playoff game on its campus but also realizes it’s not fair for schools across the country to play in the cold weather. Brandon also said he polled U-M players, who said they like to go to warm-weather bowl sites.

It's not fair. My brain stopped working. This is where I say something snarky or something about how this is not a good argument. I can't. Logic has been suspended. Get The Picture:

And just to show you how absurd this gets, rather than stand his ground on the more fan-friendly on-campus sites, Michigan State’s athletic director hopes instead that the NCAA will help families pay for the travel expense of going to an additional postseason game.

I  give up. The rest of this column will be written by my wife's cat.

THE LARGE HAIRY ONE SAYS THIS NEXT. You're probably expecting this to be in hilarious broken English lolcatese. Typical. I quit.

I do say this is next. Cats: cannot get them to do anything. Anyway, blogosphere old timers may remember Vijay, who ran one of the ur-blogs back in the day. He still hangs out on some message boards and put together a picture of the distance traveled by fans to get to bowl sites last year:

Avg distance traveled for the bowl

Big 10: 1261

Pac 10: 775

Big XII: 701

ACC: 667

SEC: 254

Big 10 travels MUCH further than anyone else. SEC travels much less. No surprise.

Avg miles differential (how far a team had to travel, compared to their opponent: + = traveling further)

Big 10: +812

ACC: -15

Big XII: -137

SEC: -399

Pac 10: -470

Big 10 is the only major conference that is generally playing further from home than their opponents.

# of games within 500 miles of home

Big 10: 1/10

ACC: 2/8

Big XII: 3/8

Pac 10: 3/7

SEC: 9/9

EVERY SINGLE SEC TEAM played within 500 miles of home.

Guess which SEC team was the only one to travel further for their bowl than their opponent. Answer below.

Meanwhile, every single Big 10 team traveled further than their opponent. Even Purdue, which got to play in Michigan, ended up playing Western Michigan.

Trivia answer: Alabama, who played LSU in New Orleans.

Use of the word fair in relation to this makes me want to wear around a horse. I'll say "I'm actually a slide rule, call me the King of Albania." I'll wear a sock on my hand I call Prince Knight who speaks only in riddles. His only riddle is "how are these people in charge?"

The cat does not find this amusing. I'm going to shake him until he does.

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HELP I'M STUCK IN BLADERUNNER

ALSO BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS. Uniform hijinks are going to be an annual thing now From the above-linked article.

He discussed the heightened attention on U-M's jerseys, particularly in football. He said the school might have done too much with changing them last season and plans to quiet the speculation this fall by having a single rollout of all the game jerseys they’ll wear throughout the season. He said coaches, players and recruits enjoy variety.

"School" should be read as "Dave Brandon" and "speculation" should be read as "lack of speculation."

So at least there won't be any horrible, horrible surprises this year, and five different outfits seems off the table. Regular alternate whatnots are here to stay. Embrace it. I want wings on the pants. And the jerseys. I want a uniform that's just one giant wing. Like, when the offense lines up the unit should look like one winged helmet. With claws!

A note on something that happened last week. You know that child-porn-havin' OSU-recruit-creepin' twitter guy from last week? One: if you asked me to draw a composite of all OSU fans it would be him. Two: when you are in photos, keep your head straight.

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WHY DOESN'T YOUR NECK WORK, MEDIAN OF ALL OHIO STATE FANS EMBODIED?

Seriously, you should get that checked out or something. Also, thank you for existing.

Better at being in photos than OSU median guy. Jehu Chesson on the track:

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Head: straight up and down.

Chesson won the 300 M hurdles at a regionals meet and is working on his 110M skills.

Etc.: Smart Football, the book. Highly recommended. TOC on the ill-founded grad-year transfer panic. Michigan made money, then spent money. They will bid out the MNC final.

Comments

coastal blue

May 17th, 2012 at 5:45 PM ^

So lets put aside the absurd fact that Dave Brandon's method of decision is to poll a group of 18-22 year olds about events 5-10 years in the future and concentrate on this: If you win that cold home game, guess what? You get to travel to the warm, sunny bowl game extravaganza anyway! And play for a national championship! Bonus round!!!

And hey, if you're not hosting the semifinal, there's a really good chance you'll be travelling south or southwest to play in a much warmer setting anyway!

Something tells me that the same players who preferred to travel aren't thinking ahead. In the future, they'll look back and think "If only we could have taken LSU at home in 2014, instead of  in New Orleans. 

But hey, its DB, he's one cool customer that nobody pulls one over on. Probably had to concede this minor detail to ensure the Big Ten champ gets an automatic birth in the playoff, since its only fair our champion has to travel 1000+ miles to play a game in weather they havent seen in 3 months. 

InterM

May 17th, 2012 at 7:50 PM ^

I'm sure Michigan football players aren't especially competitive -- after the regular season ends, they're undoubtedly more focused on the best climate to hang out in for a few days, rather than the best conditions for getting themselves into the national championship game.  Every once in a while, Brady hauls them off the beach and makes them practice, if you can believe it -- man, what is that dude's problem?

M-Dog

May 18th, 2012 at 2:15 AM ^

I would not blame any of this on the players.  There is no chance that Dave Brandon really polled any players.  Like always, he starts with what he wants us to believe, then makes up some spin to support it, pats us on the head, and sends us on our way.

coastal blue

May 18th, 2012 at 10:14 AM ^

I don't blame the players and I don't actually think any of them said that, I was mainly just being sarcastic in pointing out that 

Even if he did poll them and they did say they preferred a bowl trip to somewhere southern/southwestern, its his job to think ahead, not the guys on the team. He's the one being paid a huge salary to make decisions that are beneficial to Michigan and not doing his absolute best  to give Michigan the best chance to win a National Championship is not doing his job. 

In this case, I would rather have him say, "I want a home playoff game, but the SEC and the other southern teams are too scared to come north and play us" than have him try to spin some bullshit about "fairness" in a system that is already tilted against Michigan and its conference. 

I simply don't buy the fact he got some master concession out of this, just like I don't buy Brady Hoke was his first choice (I buy that it worked out, obviously, but let's be honest: The guy who went 12-1 and missed out on a National Championship at Stanford by one bad half and is a former Michigan quarterback ISNT your first choice?) and I don't buy his handling of the Alabama game/band situation.

He just seems like an average politician/con artist. 

Section 1

May 17th, 2012 at 6:00 PM ^

but my just-recieved copy of The Wolverine seems to call into question some of the Athletic Department revenue/spending numbers as reported in the press.  It's a password-protected site, but I think everybody in the Victors Club gets it so it isn't much of a secret.  I read it twice, and didn't understiand it either time.  I think we made less, and spent more, and the Athletic Department didn't want anybody to think that we had too much money to fool around with, like sending the band on trips to Texas and such.  They do make it hard to understand and compare.  I feel sorry for all of the stock analysts who have to look at those things all day in the corporate world.

The FannMan

May 17th, 2012 at 6:10 PM ^

Preserving the Rose Bowl is a constant theme with the ADs.  Let's assume that they aren't completely lying to us.  (Hey, its possible - maybe.)  Could the other conferences have actually threatened the Big Ten's tie-in with the Rose Bowl?  

What if the PAC-12 and SEC told the Big Ten that they would replace the Big Ten with the SEC in the Rose Bowl if home games in the semis became a reality.  The current contract is up in 2014 and the SEC and PAC-12 could throw a crap load of dollar bills at those old dudes in the yellow blazers out in Cali.  (Yes, I know that the Sugar Bowl might have a smallish problem with this, but this is speculation man.)

Who knows what really happened, but that scenario would probably be enough to make Delaney (and the Big Ten ADs) back off home games.  

Yep, speculation is fun.

M-Dog

May 18th, 2012 at 2:22 AM ^

So what?  The B1G may be better off having it at a regional site within the B1G footprint.  

Don't forget, this is only about the rare occasion where the B1G is the #1 or #2 ranked team in the country at the end of the season.  Historically, that happens about twice a decade.  The rest of the time, it's business as usual.

The FannMan

May 18th, 2012 at 10:11 AM ^

I think I wasn't clear with with wild, baseless specualtion.  

I was imagining a scenario where the SEC and PAC-12 tell the Big Ten that they will muscle the Big Ten out of the Rose Bowl period.  Admittedly, it is far fetched, but would give the SEC and PAC-12 leverage and would explain the obsession with saving the Rose Bowl.

lexus larry

May 18th, 2012 at 12:41 PM ^

Imagine how that could have morphed into a "be careful what you wish for" moment...and now the SEC East champ gets to travel 1800 miles to play Oregon in the semi-final in Pasadena...

My $0.02 is the B1G AD's spent too much time in the pockets of men in bright red blazers, and lost sight of a nice opportunity to increase "fairness" for our football champs.l

denardogasm

May 17th, 2012 at 8:25 PM ^

It seems like there was so much less hatred and far fewer obnoxious drunks back then. Where did things go wrong? I think it was when handlebar mustaches became a thing of the past, thus making everyone so much less distinguished.

Don

May 17th, 2012 at 8:49 PM ^

This statement screams to me that there will be more than just a single bogus "throwback" jersey. I'm betting on two or more alternate jerseys, which will all suck.

Don

May 17th, 2012 at 8:52 PM ^

when Brandon is talking about them liking a warm destination for post-season. It's the moneyed suite people who are aghast at the idea of spending the holiday season stuck in Ann Arbor rather than some swanky hotel down south, or out west that Brandon is truly responding to.

m83econ

May 17th, 2012 at 8:54 PM ^

Bowls lose, of course.  First the marginal ones and eventually it will be all bowls.  When the 16 team playoff begins its inaugural season in 2020, the things that made college football special will disappear.  Regular seaon rivalry? Conference champion?  who cares - did Michigan make the playoffs?