I always hope the fictional person goes to Michigan. Key And Peele East/West Bowl is obligatory:

Ace talkin' recruiting. On SI.com:

SI: Basically, if you avoid any more M00N games, that's a plus. Is it safe to say the 2016 class should really see the Harbaugh bump in recruiting?

AA: Definitely. While the staff has put most of its focus on piecing together the 2015 class in about a month, a lot of offers have been sent to top-tier '16 recruits, and those have been received quite well. Michigan would get an edge if it lands five-star defensive tackle Rashan Gary; his high school coach is rumored to be taking a support staff job in Ann Arbor, and the guy replacing him at Paramus (N.J.) Catholic played for Harbaugh in San Francisco (ex-49ers linebacker Blake Costanzo). There is also a lot of in-state talent in this cycle, and Harbaugh along with Tyrone Wheatley, the new running backs coach, have made the rounds at several Detroit-area schools. That should pay dividends sooner rather than later.

Mattison follow-up. Surprise: Greg Mattison is not looney tunes. Daishon Neal's high school coach:

Reached by phone Wednesday, Neal's high school coach Jay Ball (Omaha Central) said he spoke with Mattison on Tuesday, and has a great deal of respect for Michigan's defensive line coach.

"First of all, DaiShon N eal is a great kid and coach Mattison is a guy that I have a lot of respect for, he's been in the coaching business for 40 years and deserves every amount of respect that he gets," Ball said. "It sounds to me like there's two sides to the story, and maybe things were misinterpreted.

"And that's about all I'm really going to say."

I feel bad for that guy, who's been put in an awful spot by Neal's crazy helicopter dad. Even if you did boot Mattison from your home—something that is likely fiction—nobody gains anything by going on the radio to proclaim it.

It's really happening? I mentioned that there was chatter on Tennessee boards that Mike DeBord might be their offensive coordinator earlier. I didn't think it would actually happen for a zillion different reasons, but… uh…

Mike DeBord
Most recently — TE coach, Chicago Bears
DeBord, like Jones, is a former head coach at Central Michigan, and the two Midwestern natives have become good friends over the years. DeBord, a former offensive coordinator at Michigan from 1997-99 and 2006-07, hasn’t coached since serving as the Chicago Bears tight ends coach from 2010-12 and is currently the Olympic Sports Coordinator at Michigan….

Why he’s still on the board: Because he remains, by all accounts, the clubhouse leader for the position despite also holding at least a couple of potential NFL offers in his pocket.

I am going to be fascinated if this in fact happens. Tennessee found some life on offense last year when they turned to sophomore dual-threat QB Josh Dobbs, who ran for 500 yards in six games and is not at all like John Navarre. DeBord, meanwhile, is probably unaware that quarterbacks are allowed to cross the line of scrimmage.

He also hasn't been a coordinator since 2007—Lloyd Carr was the only guy who ever thought he was that level of coach. He'd seemingly given up on the whole enterprise when he took an administrative spot in the Michigan AD. To suddenly show up in the SEC as a coordinator is a reversal worthy of Zack Novak.

It also means that Mike DeBord found a coordinator gig before Al Borges.

More job stuff. Paramus Catholic coach Chris Partridge—who you may remember from such recruitments as AHHH JABRILL PEPPERS—left the school to take a job with Rutgers. Rutgers then rescinded that offer, supposedly because Partridge is not widely liked by New Jersey high school coaches worried that he will recruit their players away from them. Well done, Rutgers.

Partridge's side of the story is that Rutgers did offer him but he had not committed to the job. In the aftermath there was some chatter from Sam Webb that Michigan might step in with a job for the suddenly unemployed Partridge, and this job posting certainly looks like one designed for a guy a lot like him:

Recruiting Operations

Job Summary

Responsible for the planning, coordination, execution and assessment of recruiting operations. Directly responsible for the coordination and liaison of high school coaches and talent stakeholders in the college football prospect market.

Responsibilities*

1. Assist Director of Player Personnel as directed, for the purpose of the coordination, evaluation and liaison with all High School Coaches and talent stakeholders in the college football prospect market.
2. Responsible for the planning, coordination and execution of Football Camps and Clinics in support of the University of Michigan Football Program.
3. Responsible for the oversight and internal compliance of all football related matters.
4. Responsible for the accuracy and input of all prospect/recruit documentation and data management for prospective football recruits.
5. Responsible for the evaluation and analysis of all recruiting classes during the duration of their eligibility of collegiate play.

Required Qualifications*

Bachelor's Degree.

Desired Qualifications*

5-10 years of college football recruiting experience with an in-depth understanding of the role of the High School Football Coach.

This looks like a job for a high school coach moving up. FWIW, Paramus has 2016's #1-ranked DT, Rashan Gary.

There is also a spot for an Associate Athletic Director For Saying NO STOP DON'T DO THIS DUMB THING, which basically sounds like an SID spot. To the relief of almost everyone on the beat, Derek Satterfield was canned immediately upon Hackett's hire.

Not all politicians are smart. No polo, but do me a favor and vote for whoever's running against this Al Pscholka guy if you happen to live in his district:

"I think student-athletes are students," he said. "It's just that simple. We've certainly gotten away from that fact. I've been broadcasting high school sports for 30 years, and the message we should be sending our kids is that college is really important."

Rhetorical tip: anyone saying "it's just that simple" has just said something dumb. Guy can't even defend his lame-duck bill passed out of an idiotic dedication to the ideal of amateurism. He's put Michigan and Michigan State in a possibly disadvantageous position relative to other schools if and when teams start unionizing in the near future.

This is a thing I like to hear. Hockey picks up '99-born defenseman Quinn Hughes. Hughes is a 2018(!) recruit on Chris Heisenberg's page. It sounds like he is in the Eric Werner/Steve Kampfer mode:

Hughes is a quick, cerebral defender, plays a possession style with soft hands. One of the smartest defenders in the age group.

— Sean Lafortune (@SeanLafortune) January 29, 2015

Hughes, like fellow D commit Griffin Luce, is the son of an NHL front office guy who played college hockey. That makes him particularly unlikely to defect to the OHL—these guys know all the pros and cons of both routes already.

It will be interesting to see how Michigan's recruiting classes hold up after Berenson's retirement, which is tentatively scheduled to be after next season. I assume these guys are aware that they're likely to be coached  by someone else.

Really? Lunardi has Michigan in his next four out. Crashing The Dance pretty much does as well—George Washington gets the last at large and then Michigan is seventh in the pecking order, give or take projected automatic qualifier Green Bay. Bubble must be pretty soft this year.

Minor ding. WOLV reporter with an injury scoop:

Inside scoop: Jake Butt tore his meniscus and had surgery two days ago. @AceAnbender

— Ben Meyers (@BenSMeyers) January 29, 2015

A meniscus is usually a month-long thing so that shouldn't hurt Butt too much. Should be back for spring practice, in fact.

Etc.: I beg Michigan recruiting reporters to go full Texas in the near future, for entertainment's sake. Connor and Werenski off the board in the first 15 picks of various NHL.com mock drafts. A lot of weird guys stepping up at Next Man In U. Walton availability unknown.