Unverified Voracity Hires Train Monkey Comment Count

Brian

Brabbs reminder. Chicagoans: Phil Brabbs is having a fundraiser this weekend for the Indiana game, which Michigan will DOMINATE. Offer still stands on the Brabbs shirts, BTW: buy one, get five bucks off a second shirt in the (now severely reduced) MGoStore.

Insane rootability UPDATE! This is quality except for hated non-journalist Melanie Collins(!) introing it:

(Note: last time Melanie Collins was referenced on the blog the comments got very sad; just don't, hokay?)

Also: you've already seen Stonum kick the glasses up a notch this week, but what about Taylor Lewan's insane mustache tattoo?

taylor-lewan-mustache-tatoo

The purpose of this:

"I mean it's the best icebreaker in the world. You go up to them," Lewan said, putting his finger in place to reveal the mustache, "'Miss, let's be serious, I just want to dance.'"

You will not be surprised to learn the idea originated in third grade. I mean:

"My friend thought it would be a cool idea to draw a mustache on (his finger)," Lewan said. " I was like 'this is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. I have to do this for real.'"

I love this team.

Kicking paint. Via a reader:

kicking_game

Injury watch. Another pair of big injuries hit the Big Ten this weekend, with Purdue QB Robert Marve and Penn State RT Lou Eliades tearing ACLs and getting knocked out for the year. Marve's replacement is a redshirt freshman who will further condemn Purdue to a terrible season; they're now down their top QB, RB, and WR and just lost to Toledo by 11. The Rockets were dead last in total offense going into the Purdue game; they put up 31 points and exceeded their season yardage average by 100. Purdue is bad. Someone should Yakety Sax the upcoming Purdue-Minnesota game.

Penn State winnability watch. Eliades's loss sends Penn State into a further bout of scrambling on the OL. They were already starting two(!) guys who played guard in 2009 at tackle. Now they're going with this guy:

Filling Eliades will be redshirt junior Chima Okoli, who is an offensive lineman for the first time in his career. Okoli was a full-time defensive lineman in high school and at Penn State until spring drills, when he reluctantly shifted to offense.

Penn State's starting tackles are now 6'3" and 6'4", and the position switch starter klaxons are blaring. Linebacker U on the situation:

The offensive line was already having issues before this tragedy. I lost count just how many times I pounded my fist on the bar table today when PSU only had to pick up a yard or two in third down situations and got manhandled by Temple's defensive line. … I am now taking bets on just how many of our linemen are going to join ex-punter Jeremy Boone in getting swallowed by Iowa's Adrian Clayborn next week.

Normally level-headed official-journalist-type-guy Bill Kline also sounds the alarm, albeit about a different position:

Penn State's safeties are just too slow. Drew Astorino and Nick Sukay both got burned on runs, and more than once. Andrew Dailey also was beaten. Terrelle Pryor is gonna eat them up, let alone Denard Robinson of Michigan. Can you imagine those safeties trying to even touch D-Rob? He could outrun those guys wearing a NASA spacesuit.

Yeesh. He also has some critical words for Bolden ("overthrows open receivers, holds onto the ball too long, rifles it in there harder than a sledgehammer") and actually says the PSU coaches should have inserted Kevin "Michigan Fans Are Just Bitter" Newsome at some point against the Owls.

All that sounds like overreaction to me. Even so, the Penn State game has moved into the coinflip-ish band with MSU and Iowa, even at night on the road. I remain terrified of Wisconsin even if Vegas hates them.

The Freude. TWIS is up and has the usual bout of Notre Dame self-loathing. Get your laughs in now since ND's next five games should all be easy wins—Boston College is the toughest opponent in that stretch and they also feature in TWIS because they have a 70-year-old OC named "Tranquill," which is just too easy.

Also featured is TRAIN MONKEY:

I don't even know what this means:

----

Fire Mullen Now

Train monkey could have called a better four down set

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Train monkey?

Sullenengineer_medium
via www.richgonzales.com

What?

TRAIN MONKEY FOR WVU OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR.

BONUS! This just came down the NDN crazy pipe:

My mom says it's ok we lost because Stanford is a good team
by KLav18 (2010-09-27 16:03:17)

I want to punch her in the face and tell her that is the whole problem. We can't beat anyone good because we suck.

Is there anything more entertaining than ND Nation after a loss? Yes: Denard Robinson. But that's it.

I admire your enthusiasm. One Indiana fan's opinion of this weekend's game:

Michigan has no chance next week....


their defense doesnt exist. They barely beat an ND that IU could easily handle (ND couldnt dominate PU, which got killed by Toledo. You think Toledo would beat IU??). They barely beat UMass (FCS team?) at home.
They are not going to get 400 yards on IU.... let alone 700 yards.
Michigan are getting full of themselves, again. The BTN is helping.
Chappel will destroy them. Robinson will get some of his yards, but no one else will. And if they are sandbagging his injury, Tate Forcier's parents will have to take down his website after the game.

This is just one guy, obviously. Most other IU fans are hopeful but reasonable, or seem reasonable next to this guy, who also suggests that if the "referines" give Michigan the game again, IU should join the Big 12.

Etc.: Oregon blog Off The Pond finds AP voter John Wilner's secret ballot notes. Wilner is one of two voters to exclude Michigan, and the rest of his ballot does not make the guy out to be a genius. (The other guy not to vote for Michigan is creepy/sad cheerleader groupie Scott Wolf.) Nobody goes to Florida State games. Just 61k showed up for the Wake Forest game; they haven't topped 70k for the last five games. TV Guide droids are changing the storyline.

Comments

Wolverine318

September 28th, 2010 at 11:03 AM ^

well during dinardo's reign of terror at IU, IU was flirting with the minimum attendance requirement for D1A football. The NCAA served them with one of those attendance warnings EMU receives every season. A few Minnesota like seasons and your wish could come true. IU fans on the whole are classic reversible jacket fans, ND football fans in the fall and IU basketball fans in the winter. 

John M

September 28th, 2010 at 3:06 PM ^

IU's football history is sufficiently pathetic that I would think you could yank our chain without making stuff up.  The Division I-A minimum attendance requirement during the Dinardo era was 15,000 per game.  IU's worst attendance in the Dinardo era was 22,282 on October 30, 2004, against Minnesota.  Don't get me wrong, that's pathetic, particularly considering that Minnesota was ranked and it was a beautiful day (I was there--IU pulled the upset, too).  Still, IU was never within shouting distance of the bottom line number for even a single game, let alone for a season.  If you have proof to the contrary, I would love to see it.   

jamiemac

September 28th, 2010 at 11:15 AM ^

I mean, I appreciate you block quoting some of my words, but you could at least mention mention me or something. We'll kick Baylor's ass in the Big 12, by the way

(For the record, Toledo will win their division of the MAC and I would take them all day in a hypothetical match with the Hoosiers. I would take UMASS over them as well. E-pinion.)

MGlobules

September 28th, 2010 at 11:26 AM ^

kidding? She may be spreading vicious PSU gris gris in the corners!!! (Three Xclamation marks, yeah!)

If the players look all super-lethargic and Denard is missing his mojo on Saturday or for PSU don't say I didn't tell you so. 

(P.S. I've got the counter-mojo if anybody needs it. Let me know; I have been down this road before with women like her.)

Number 7

September 28th, 2010 at 11:30 AM ^

1. Wow that Winter ballot is awful. How do you have Oregon at 15 or whatever? Missouri is ranked? Oklahoma is #3? 2. Speaking of ballots, the AP just discovered that they'd entered the wrong ballot (week 3's) for some guy from new Mexico. Once the correct ballot is imputed, Michigan flips with South Carolina (aka USC (ntusc)). Woot! We're number 19! (/s).

Tim Waymen

September 28th, 2010 at 12:04 PM ^

UM played a shitty game against UMass but then took care of business the next week (hopefully a sign of improvement).  Indiana won 35-20 over 0-4 Akron, whose losses include one to Gardner-Webb and getting absolutely crushed by Syracuse.  IU also beat 0-4 WKU 38-21.

It's not a slam-dunk since there are question marks on defense, which may be improving, but let's hope nonetheless that we beat Indiana much more than we did last year.

Brhino

September 28th, 2010 at 11:49 AM ^

BREAKING NEWS:

Fan of team sporting the country's #92 rush defense believes nation's leading rusher "will get some of his yards" in head to head matchup.

Steve in PA

September 28th, 2010 at 11:49 AM ^

"Terrelle Pryor is gonna eat them up, let alone Denard Robinson of Michigan. Can you imagine those safeties trying to even touch D-Rob?"

To quote a TV Commentator, "I felt a thrill running up my leg" after reading that.  Good stuff.  Very good stuff.

YoyogiBlue

September 28th, 2010 at 11:59 AM ^

Cause I figured out how Darryl Stonum can top this weeks style performance. Fast forward to 30 seconds in and behold:

Electric blue sequined neck tie/shirt combo > nerd glasses 

M-Wolverine

September 28th, 2010 at 12:35 PM ^

Brian, did you ever explain why Mississippi is not a State?

Love the ND joke. I will miss ND's weekly appearance. The funny part about the guy complaining about the beating by Stanford who "hired a good coach" is that they flirted with Harbaugh, but hired Kelly.  Oops.

In reply to by M-Wolverine

El Jeffe

September 28th, 2010 at 3:35 PM ^

My guess was that he meant something like: "It's never good when you lose to a team who lost to a "State" school that's not even named after a state."

As in, UGa lost to Mississippi State, who lost to Jacksonville State. Otherwise, I couldn't figure it out either.

tabfan19

September 28th, 2010 at 7:05 PM ^

Okoli was a full-time defensive lineman in high school and at Penn State until spring drills, when he reluctantly shifted to offense.

Wow, glad I'm not the quarterback playing behind someone who doesn't even want to play offense line.

cazzie33

September 28th, 2010 at 8:21 PM ^

A friend and ex-IU starter who was jazzed about this game a month ago is now nervous about his team's inability to stop the run, esp. a running quarterback. I'm like Yeah and he's like Gulp. But he does warn that Darius Willis is for real. In any event, take the over. Last team with the ball and all that ...

Edward Khil

September 28th, 2010 at 11:52 PM ^

A great comment on a blog entry on Texas' Barking Carnival re: The Genius of Greg Davis:

 

At this point, it’s not that Davis is playing checkers when others are playing chess, it’s that he’s sticking chess pieces up his ass like a monkey while others are playing with tactical nukes.

 

It wasn't posted until today; but I think Brian might've highlighted it in TWIS.  Of course, it would not have beaten out the "Choose Your Own Adventure" Cal football entry that won the internet.

Here's to a schadenfreude-free season of Michigan football...