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Unverified Voracity Groks Namibia

By Brian — September 9th, 2008 at 4:10 PM — 7 comments
Filed under:
  • 100% pure colombian awesome
  • charlie weis
  • eeee i'm a little girl for mike barwis
  • lolinternet
  • namibia
  • notre dame
  • scheduling
  • unverified voracity

Namibia loves The Victors. An intrepid emailer spent his time as an English teacher in Namibia wisely:

(There’s also mindblowing video of the kids singing “Like A Prayer”.) This email caused me to look Namibia up on Wikipedia, and now I know that only 1% of the land in the country is arable and that it wasn’t even independent until 1990 because South Africa invaded it as part of World War II. And that it’s the second most sparsely populated country on the planet behind Mongolia. Wikipedia, sometimes I hate you.

They’ll get crappier or better. I’m always looking for any sign that college football scheduling will get less insulting, and this is a good one:

Michigan's fifth meeting against Miami (Ohio) -- and third time since 2001 -- was apparently the last for the foreseeable future.

The RedHawks used to enjoy the big payday that came with a road game against a big school. But now they're trying to get schools to agree to play at home one year, with a trip to Oxford, Ohio, the next year.

Miami (NTM) has home and homes set up with Minnesota, Colorado, and Vandy, so Michigan will have to go elsewhere for its second MAC snack in future years. I expect the Eastern/Central/Western rotation will be more frequent.

As a big picture, though: when the bigger MAC programs start eschewing guarantee games for actual home and homes, that means power schools have fewer options for bodybag games, which means the prices go up, which means there’s more motivation to play a real opponent. Go Hawks.

And now, more

CRIPPLE FIGHT 2008

cripplefight

graphic illustration via College Game Balls

Ha. San Diego State coach Chuck Long was asked which team was better, Cal Poly or Notre Dame. The response:

"That's a tough question," Long said.

Hur.

Speaking of, I used the wrong box score in yesterday’s post on the SDSU-Cal Poly game. This is the right box, and it changes the table used to this:

Opp Yards Gained YPA YPC Yards Allowed YPA YPC
Cal Poly SLO 379 7.8 1.2 483 10.5 5.2
Notre Dame 345 4.6 4.7 342 7.0 3.1

So the Notre Dame offense was way, way worse than Cal Poly and only marginally better on defense; they also allowed the flaccid San Diego State run game—3.5 YPC last year against a Mountain West schedule—to rack up almost 5 YPC. ND did do a good job of holding SDSU’s dink-and-dunk pass offense to few yards after the catch.

Meanwhile in overblown LOL. The media has revisited Charlie Weis’s poindextery rant about Michigan and “their excuses and murble murble I want a deep fried deep-fried-ham sandwhich murble murble To Hell With Michigan” to an excessive degree as Cripple Fight 2008 approaches. Check it:

weisnsstuff

468 articles! Google News tends to throw a bunch of stuff that’s not quite related in there but that was a search for “Weis ‘to hell with michigan’”.

In these 468 articles there is one thing of note:

"Barwis was mad," said UM defensive end Tim Jamison.

He gets mad? I mean… like, there are differentiable levels of white-hot seething Barwis rage? Notre Dame is screwed.

I still prefer “we have not said one word about Michigan, we’ll do our talking on the field” before FBD I. Weis loves this sort of meta trash talk: we haven’t even bothered to trash talk Michigan, that’s how sad they are. We don’t make excuses except about thugs and hoodlums and service academies but boy I bet Michigan does. I won’t blame my kids but if they would just execute the gameplan we wouldn’t lose to Navy.

And he loves complete BS excuses for his jerko (that’s right, I said it: jerko) behavior:

“Anyone who’s a Michigan fan should know and understand that’s a tribute to Bo,” Weis said Tuesday. “I think that’s a very respectful comment toward coach Bo.”

I’m sure he was on the verge of tears as he murble murbled his way through the Domer red meat. Dude, at least stick to your guns if you’re going to say it. When Bo said “to hell with Notre Dame” he meant “to hell with Notre Dame,” and if you asked him for a clarification he probably would have gone Dana Jacobsen on your ass.

Also, Bo had been retired for ten years when he said the version he meant.

Actual onfield items. Rakes of Mallow has an excellent post on Notre Dame’s preferred strategy going into the M game, suggesting a lot of dink and dunk stuff that tests Michigan’s spotty underneath coverage instead of the We Pound It But Not Like That We’re Catholic (And Just Save The Pedophile Priest Jokes We’ve Heard Them) that was much discussed in the offseason. I also think this is Notre Dame’s best course of action: take the Michigan DL out of the game and force the linebackers to make a bunch of tackles/zone drops.

Their only issue is that they don’t really have a guy to do that: Kamara is a ponderous, very sucky receiver, Tate is a straight line burner sort, and they’re down to a freshman at TE. That freshman is an OMG shirtless recruit… we may get a heavy dose of him.

One thing we’re sure to see: a half-dozen screens, maybe more.

LOLCFN. I’ve been trying to cut back on the spleen of late, but the Joe Cribbs Car Wash points out the greatest possible summary of what a dip Matt Zemek, CFN’s resident bubble pipe professor, is:

Very simply, ladies and gentlemen, if you think that Ohio State is in trouble against USC because of the way the Buckeyes played against Ohio, you know nothing about college football and have failed to pay attention to this sport during your lifetime.

CFN remains a place to go only if you want to kill brain cells, but now they’ve got extra pretension!

Etc.: Only Jonathan Tu could link Borges and college football. Shavodrick Beaver is going to be on ESPN2 Thursday night: there will be a CIL liveblog/chat session—and this one is going to actually happen because I will be around to make it so. 8 PM.

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Posted on: September 10th, 2008 at 2:54 PM #1
tbliggins
Joined: 2008-06-30
Points: 320
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Namibia

I, too, have a friend that taught his students The Victors while in the Peace Corps in Namibia.  The stories he came back w/ make the wiki page seem tame.

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Posted on: September 10th, 2008 at 8:59 AM #2
Hannibal.
Hannibal.'s picture
Joined: 2008-09-09
Points: 662
Offline
I hope that you're right

I hope that you're right about the scheduling bit.  Over the past four or five years, as scheduling has gotten crappier and crappier, we have all been the poorer for it.

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Posted on: September 10th, 2008 at 8:17 AM #3
Rybu
Joined: 2008-09-10
Points: 0
Offline
Africa

I'm headed to Tanzania in March and you can be sure that teaching The Victors is high on my priority list.

Eat at the Threetwood Diner!

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Posted on: September 9th, 2008 at 10:20 PM #4
BlueSeoul
BlueSeoul's picture
Joined: 2008-06-30
Points: 98
Offline
I can't stand zemek

that guy is just a terrible, terrible, fucking terrible writer.  He writes like ellipses man. I don't even bother clicking on his crap anymore. At least fiutak can be funny, when he's not making a million spelling and gramatical errors.

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Posted on: September 9th, 2008 at 6:40 PM #5
colin
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Joined: 2008-07-01
Points: 886
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I miss Borges

:(

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Posted on: September 9th, 2008 at 5:29 PM #6
Tim Waymen
Tim Waymen's picture
Joined: 2008-06-30
Points: 1231
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Namibia video

That's like straight out of the "Michigan Difference" commercials.

So we can finally fly off into NASA

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Posted on: September 9th, 2008 at 4:59 PM #7
turbo cool
turbo cool's picture
Joined: 2008-07-10
Points: 1666
Offline
jimmy>timmy

brian, good call on us being Jimmy and not Timmy. timmy was overrated and jimmy was a successful stand-up comedian. 'H-H-H-H-H-H-HAVE YOU SEEEEEEEN THIS H-H-H-H-H-HAVE YOU HHHHHEARD ABOUT THIS?'

i only respect other superfans

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