Unverified Voracity Bites The Bullet
I listen to Colin Cowherd for you. Jim Harbaugh tried out his best Jim Tomsula impression on Colin Cowherd's show this morning:
I dunno man. I wonder if Harbaugh, a high-functioning lunatic, has points at which his function isn't so high. There is a general antipathy for press conference questions… a lot of the time. There is a general antipathy for lazy questions… some of the time. The questions Cowherd fired off were typical Cowherd: somewhat off-putting but nothing that an average person would get his dander up at, and Harbaugh is immediately in I Don't Know mode.
There are ways I think you can rescue it when he gets in that mode. Number one is talking about his players. Harbaugh loves talking about guys he has coached. But I don't think Cowherd really did anything. Harbaugh just wasn't in the mood from the drop. Steve Lorenz accurately describes it as "troll on troll crime."
Happy first-ish day of work at your new Harbaugh-wranglin' job, Zach Eisendrath! It's a very good idea to have a specific person whose only job is to wrangle Harbaugh, but I worry about the men who try to bridge the gap between beast and overman. I await the day the relentlessly upbeat Eisendrath turns his twitter feed into the SID equivalent of Nihlist Arby's.
Draw the blinds. shut out the sun. Cry. The pile of meat has been on the table for weeks. Just eat it & go back to bed. Arbys: edible.
— Nihilist Arby's (@nihilist_arbys) July 1, 2015 I am surprised that I have not already been followed by thirty different "parody" accounts called Nihilist Harby's.
Colin should have read the operating manual though. When this Sacramento Bee story came out we all had a laugh about it and forgot. And then…
Your Harbaugh does not function like other head coaches. An innocuous query about the weather, for instance, could trigger a florid quote from Admiral William Halsey. And yet a routine question about a running back’s knee injury may cause your Harbaugh to wince, pause and grimace as if a malodorous scent has wafted into the room. Your Harbaugh’s default in this instance is: “We don’t really talk about that here” or “I can’t get inside his body” or “He’s working through something.” This is a design flaw our technicians in California have not yet worked out.
Also:
Your Harbaugh will be enormously affectionate one day and cold and distant the next. This is normal.
After Eisendrath starts wearing eyeliner and listening to My Chemical Romance 24 hours a day, Matt Barrows of the Sacramento Bee has a job waiting for him. A job he should not take. Yes, even if he works for a print newspaper.
Brock Mealer wants to help other people walk. You won't know that you've missed Mike Barwis's gravel truck of a voice until about ten seconds into this:
They are raising money at charity funding site Crowd Rise; you can also grab a shirt on Barwis's site.
Whyyyyyyyy. SBNation's Steven Godfrey has a piece on why there are so many neutral-site games and they continue to increase:
College football's neutral-site games are gaining in popularity because they make a lot of money for the companies and institutions involved.
But demand is even higher among schools suddenly looking to schedule tougher opponents. Consider it knee-jerk hysteria in the wake of Baylor's exclusion from the College Football Playoff, a move often explained as a product of weak non-conference scheduling.
"If you can break your $600,000 [deal for a game against] Akron to go cash $1.2 million from Allstate ... well, there's no catch any more," the agency rep said. "TCU not getting in [the Playoff despite being] at No. 3 the week before scared every athletic director shitless."
Now, you might be thinking to yourself "why would a neutral site game make more money than a home game?" There are three main reasons:
- You can get away with more sponsor stuff at a neutral site. The Blank And Blank Classic, etc.
- You can jack up ticket prices. When Michigan played Alabama at Jerryworld, the minimum price to get in the door was $125, with non-suite tickets ranging up to $245 face. It sold out because it was Michigan against Alabama. Neither school dropped their PSDs a cent.
- The neutral site (sometimes) controls the TV revenue. Most conferences have stipulations that TV revenue is shared, even nonconference TV revenue. This goes for "neutral site" games in the geographical footprint of the conference, but generally does not extend past that. That's why Washington State played Notre Dame in Texas several years back—ND wanted to control that revenue and could not do so in the Pac-12 footprint. That was not the case for Michigan-Alabama, however.
Now, even with all those advantages a neutral site game could only come up with 4.7 million for Michigan—less than they would have gotten for beating up on a cupcake. For a team like TCU, though, the financial equation is much different.
Michigan's got another one coming up because they had a terrible contract against Notre Dame and got left in the lurch; after 2017 against Florida they should never play a neutral site game again. In this, at least, Jim Delany is an aid:
In 2013, Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany issued a memo requiring any Big Ten school playing off-campus games to be designated the home team in at least half of the matchups, and that half of the games take place in the Big Ten's footprint. The two-game series between LSU and Wisconsin in Houston and Green Bay is the example.
Never say Jim Delany didn't do one thing right in his whole life.
Instead of having a neutral site game with those ticket advantages, you should ask your fans if it's okay to have big prices for a big game, and when they say YES YES YES then do it.
YOU WERE. There was a time in the 90s when Ohio State would roll in to The Game with a shiny record and national championship aspirations and a 7-4 Michigan team would destroy them. It wasn't exactly halcyon since, uh, 7-4, but there was a grim satisfaction in dragging those bastards into the pit with us. This happened so often that I can't remember which of these games featured this exchange between myself and an Ohio State fan deep into the third quarter:
"You guys are pathetic! You're 7-4! We are national championship contenders!"
"You WERE national championship contenders."
/merriment
Better that than the recent stuff, I guess. Anyway, ERASE THIS GAME—which still hasn't tackled #M00N—features the 1993 version of La Brea Tar Stadium, in which Tyrone Wheatley* did this:
![y3r9Mg[1]](https://mgoblog.com/sites/mgoblog.com/files/images/UV_A73B/y3r9Mg1.gif "y3r9Mg[1]")
And Ohio State did this:
Ohio State:
- never crosses into the Michigan red zone
- goes two of twelve on third down
- averages two yards per carry compared to Michigan's five
- gets shut out by the Wolverines for the first time since 1976
- misses going to the Rose Bowl after Wisconsin beats Michigan State in Tokyo because the tiebreaker at the time eliminated the most recent Rose Bowl invitee
- seriously, that was a way the Big Ten decided who got to go to the Rose Bowl, and it's basically "aw heck you're due"
I would prefer that we keep this game, and possibly bronze it.
*[Whenever I watch Wheatley run these days I think that Brandon Minor was born 20 years too late to be a somewhat disappointing first round NFL draft pick.]
Etc.: Harbaugh throws out first pitch, talks to media personably afterwards. This is normal. An oral history of Barry Alvarez making Wisconsin into Wisconsin. You should probably read it. Harbaugh on the Tigers.
A guy I used to work with knows Wheat, ran track against him. Ended up playing football at a directional Michigan, but still says he thought he was hot shit in high school until Wheatley showed up to run hurdles. Dudes didn't look like he did and run like he did.
That was a fun connection to have when Wheatley was interviewing with Harbaugh.
Even to this day there have been very, very few football players who have come out of high school able to do what he did. You know how we would drool over track times for guys like Denard or Chesson? Now imagine of those guys were well over 200 pounds in high school doing that. That's super rare.
Except that it has happened again for Michigan, probably twice. Woodson and Peppers.
...i remember the day of that ohio state game like it was yesterday.
my brother was a manager for the team that year and i got his parent tickets for that game. i had to stop at his house to pick them up before the game, and one of his roommates had three or four of his buddies up from ohio state visiting. they were, as you might expect, whooping it up, drunk, stupid, and loud, giving points and talking shit about how great this group of buckeyes was, right there on my brother's couch at 10:30 or so in the morning. i tried to poke back, but it was like arguing with a group of juggalos, so i grabbed the tix and took off for blue-er pastures.
so we kicked their asses all afternoon, and i headed back to my brother's house on john street. there those gigantic assholes sat, in the same places on the couch where i'd left them, sad, drunk tired and with the most beautiful blank shellshocked looks on their faces i'd ever seen, as if they'd just watched the michigan marching band director screw their mothers. WHICH HE PROBABLY DID.
it was a great day.
made me laugh. +1
It was a pretty average story until the bit about our Marching Band Director having relations with their mothers. I have no doubt this happened. And can you imagine the ride home? 28-0. 0. Beat by your death rival AND your mothers hooked up with the hated rivals'...BAND DIRECTOR.
Gold, Jerry.
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In Soviet Russia, wads of filth throw you.
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Does Cowherd bat from both sides of the plate?
I'm kind of confused as to what the big deal was up until Harbaugh said the thing about "50 questions". Up until that point it just seemed like he was giving pretty standard coach-speak answers to the same old questions everyone asks.
never not douchey. EVER, and that has nothing to do with this interview, because whatever.
It seemed to me like somebody other than Cowherd was telling Cowherd to get ticked off and try to push Harbaugh's buttons. I didn't see anything wrong with Harbaugh's responses to some awful questions, and then Cowherd just flipped for no reason.
...the "recruiting" question (why should I play for Michigan), I felt as though Harbaugh was reticent to dilute and share what he may tell recruits in person.
Were his cards held too closely to his vest? Maybe. It was a little painful to listen to, honestly.
I like that Harbaugh didn't go into a salesman spiel about playing at Michigan.
You're the HC at Michigan, and were a successful HC in the NFL. You don't let radio hosts bully you into awkward spots that you're not prepared to talk about. That's how they get their viral soundbits.
Granted, I've never listened to any sports talk show before, but I'm not sure what Cowherd did wrong other than asking some very run-of-the-mill questions. By the same token, I don't understand what JH did wrong other than giving boring answers that lacked any juice. He clearly wasn't geeked up to match Colin's over-caffinated demeanor, but he didn't appear to "troll" Cowherd as others assert. He seemed amenable enough, just not in the mood (or ill-equipped) to give the type of answers Colin was hoping for. If Colin had continued the interview, it would have gone down in the books as simply a boring segment. But Colin's sudden indignation and rude hang-up is what has turned it into a thing. It was a disaster for Colin, who has the job of entertaining folks. It was not a disaster for JH. A "disaster" would have been to say something controversial, call in drunk, drop an F-bomb, etc.
Not a disaster, just boring. Considering the fact that JH is ANYTHING but boring outside of this interview, I don't think it's cause for concern. Cowherd overreacted by a country mile.
This is pretty much spot on. Cowherd could have laughed off the 50 questions comment and asked Harbaugh some more standard questions and everything would have been fine.
That's only the case if you assume season ticket holders care equally about the cupcake as they do the marquee games. We all know that isn't true. The ticket packages bundle a bunch of stuff together - stuff you care about (OSU/MSU) and stuff you don't (cupcake). Breaking out the revenues equally across home games is like cable companies saying that FUSE channel generates as much subscriber revenue as ESPN.
"you should ask your fans if it's okay to have big prices for a big game, and when they say YES YES YES then do it"
Or - just do it already. The market for these events is already very well established. Ticket prices will go up -- at least you'll get something for it. Michigan can absolutely tack on $250 to have an Alabama/Texas/Florida on the schedule. They can always offer a discounted smaller season ticket package (without the marquee game) and then sell off the excess for $300-$500. win win.
In conclusion: no cupcakes, no neutral field games, PLAY SOMEBODY. do it every damn week.
The only way the Harbaugh interview would have been better for me, is if he had answered every question as if he took the Raiders job. I'm sorry, but he answered bad questions badly with an extra dose of coachspeak. I enjoyed it.
thank god i have other hobbies outside of sports...only thing worse than listening to cowherd was seeing him do his radio show.
Dude's a spaz, a douche, and just a pot stirrer.
It's summer, go outside.
Cowherd is an idiot. He yells into his microphone and conducts an interview as though he's Nancy Grace. Harbaugh responded the way you are supposed to when you meet someone who is mentally unstable -
1. Respond slowly. Do not agitate them. They may get violent.
2. Be non-committal. Stay vague so that they can't lock onto something you said and get violent.
3. Throw the question back at them. It will confuse them and they may leave you alone.
4. Treat stupidity with silence. See 1.
Good job Jim!
I'm pretty sure head-to-head was the 1st tiebreaker back then, but Wisconsin and OSU tied at Camp Randall that year (thanks to OSU blocking a last second FG attempt...shakes fist..was Wisconsin fan growing up).
In my experience of participating in interviews, I've found it takes 2 to produce a clunker! I'll take 50% responsibility 4 this clunker.
— Coach Harbaugh (@CoachJim4UM) July 1, 2015
The only value to dancing with a below-average host like Cowherd is exposure in front of a large audience. But I'm not sure what his demographic is at this point. An intelligent sportsfan isn't listening unless he's trapped in front of the radio. I'm going to assume recruits wouldn't think Cowherd is funny/informative/otherwise entertaining. If we assume Harb shit the bed, what's the downside?
That Adam Borland on Baumgardner's twitter seems to care an awful lot about Harbaugh.
I was spoiled as a student,* at least as far as pissing on OSU's dreams went. Those were good years, even if M's record wasn't stellar.
* Hypothetically, had I ever been a student and not just a hobo.
Colin Cowherd's primary job responsibility is to get people talking about Colin Cowherd.
People here are doing exactly that, including many people who should know better.
(or at least real good) in the league. I remember thinking he was a lock, both fast and strong, with good vision. I was mystified when he didn't do much in the NFL
For narcissist in the dictionary. He is the epitomy of one who has an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance.
He is the only radio commentator who has continuously described himself as a good looking guy. Really? He looks more like a pencil necked geek to me.
He's a dope that is pissed that Harbaugh did not play his game. My take is way to go Jimmy.
Also see definition of dickhead.
Wow........the year that I graduated from Michigan Law..........a very old person.
For the sole purpose of getting you back to 1970 points.
You're welcome!
Best humblebrag ever?
At this point, I just need him to go and win some games. He has elevated the profile of the program and that is a good thing. But enough with the crazy coach stuff in the media. Just focus on destroying Utah.
As for the interview, eh. Big deal. Harbaugh was a bit bland, but he's under no obligation to entertain Colin Cowherd or his audience. I've heard a lot more awkward interviews. That was just dull.
I contemplated my parents' years in Ann Arbor, which included only one Rose Bowl trip, and thought what a downer that would be.
I was a trumpet player in HS and if I had to do undergrad over again, I would have been in the band my freshman year and called it quits. Rose Bowl win over Washington and then a bunch of ugh, relatively speaking.
He asked questions as if he were involved in a speed dating event.
I found nothing out of the ordinary with Harbaugh.
Cowherd has proven he can be two faced. The guy talks for 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. He has said plenty of inflammatory crap about Harbaugh and Michigan. He' has said good things too. That's the trap of being a talk show guy because now you have to interview the guy who remembers what you said. I don't think Harbaugh can fake shit like CC can. Hey Jim were best buddies lets have a great conversation now that you can respond to my comments. Instead of being a man and bringing up the opinions he so willingly, gleefully expressed when Jim couldn't respond. I guess my point is Coach doesn't fake it and that's fine by me.
Whats up with Coward's frames? He looks like a middle aged woman with bad plastic surgery behind those hipster abominations
Who starts our an interview..... with an interview subject who coaches football for a living... with questions like "WHEN ARE YOU A CUPCAKE? WHEN ARE YOU TOTALLY SOFT?"
Yeah, I don't think any coach really needs Cowherd to "sell thier program"
At this juncture was to avoid controversy, for example discussing Pipkins, and he succeeded. Because we haven't played a game under Jim's leadership yet, there really isn't much in the way of actual football information to discuss. A muckraker like Cowherd would pounce on Jim and introduce controversy if the dialogue became freeflowing. Once the season begins, Jim will be natural and engaging as he has been in the past since there will be plenty of actual football to discuss.
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