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Unverified Vor- JESUS CHRIST GET IN THE CAR IT'S MIKE MARTIN

By Brian — September 8th, 2009 at 10:52 AM — 13 comments
Filed under:
  • abuse your children for fun and profit
  • actual coaches' opinions
  • charlie weis
  • diaries that are awesome
  • free press jihad
  • hockey
  • hybrid 3-4
  • it's a space station
  • mike martin
  • notre dame
  • obi ezeh
  • that's no python
  • unverified voracity

He will pull off your arm and beat you to death with it and then settle down for a meal, it will be just like "Alive" down to the sexy 70's hair. Dex's latest at the WLA is pretty great all around but possibly best for highlighting this Vernon Gholston-esque gun show photo:

mike-martin-enormous-bicep

So that's where the rest of Tate Forcier's biceps went. (reference)

Diaries jihad! With the advent of the season I am moving things from diary to board with extreme prejudice. Consider whether your diary has the same level of value as a typical jamiemac post or this thorough research from BlueSeoul (who you may remember as Odoms hater from the season preview…

haters01

…but he's contrite):

1st Stat Category: Yards per thrown at
This stat is better than yards per catch because it includes a penalty for players who drop the ball or loaf it on a play and don't get open.  Yes they are penalized for having a bad QB but that would affect all the numbers across the board.
Hemingway  17.33
C. Brown      13
Koger           11
Savoy             5.5
Odoms           5
Grady(19)      3.5
Mathews        3.16
Stonum, Webb, Cox, Shaw, 0

I'm not so sure about including plays on which a guy is bracketed and the quarterback is just chucking the ball away in the general direction of the player, but that's an interesting metric to track throughout the season.

Back to the larger point: please read the guidelines before posting up a diary (they're right above the text entry area), and let's try to keep that area of the site extremely high-value. I'm moving anything that seems like it was dashed off in ten minutes without thought. FWIW.

Speaking of high-value diaries. Steve Sharik's got an initial defensive analysis:

Obi Ezeh made a very nice tackle on a WR screen, but he still has a ways to go.  His reaction time needs to improve.  Example, 2nd play of the game, the B gap window opens right in front of him and there is no lead blocker.  This is LB 101.  Open window = hit it.  He should have hit the RB behind the LOS for, at worst, no gain and probably a 1-yard loss.  Instead, he hit the RB at 2 yards and they ended up with a 3-yard gain.

I noticed this too and did not deploy a minus, but maybe I should go back and at least provide a –0.5. Sharik also mentions that Ezeh spent some time "catching" blockers, which is great lingo I will immediately imbibe for a frustratingly commonplace occurrence in the Life of Obi.

One quibble:

Stevie Brown is an OLB.  He is not a hybrid player.  The true hybrid player is the strong safety, Mike Williams.  Sometimes he was at the LOS (line of scrimmage), and sometimes he was a deep safety.

No, Stevie Brown hasn't been playing anything except outside linebacker in anything I've gotten to in UFR, but one of the themes of the offseason was the multifaceted use of the word "hybrid" and how confusing everything got when you were trying to deploy it yourself. Brown's a hybrid in one sense because he's a tiny OLB who can reasonably cover a slot receiver, as he did on Western's first third-down attempt in the game, not because his position is particularly innovative. Maybe we can just call him a "mammal" instead, as opposed to ponderous, hibernation-prone dinosaur Johnny Thompson. (No offense meant to Thompson; he was just born 20 years too late to be an outside linebacker.)

Mwa ha ha ha. Yes, I am a sucker for teaching your children that the guy in the other uniform is evil and should be poisoned and then putting them on the internet in a fashion that will ruin their first dates for all time. Yes, doing this will get your video on MGoBlog:

You, out there with the kid: cute violence == pub.

Refutin'. More parents chime in on The Article In Question:

"Personally, knowing Coach Rod, I don't think there's any truth to it, I don't think there's any merit in it," Michael [Shaw, father of Mike Shaw] said.

Aand Carletta Moore, mother of redshirt freshman TE Brandon, FTW:

"First of all, it's wrong, because I went straight to the source -- I went straight to Brandon -- and it's a rumor," Carletta said. "My thought on it -- the devil has a job to do, too, you know? That's just the way I see things. I don't think there's truth to that story at all. Coming from my son, there's no truth to that story."

Hey, I didn't say it.

Hockey approacheth. Tim of Yost Built is kicking off season preview-related activities with five burning questions for the season. I'd forgotten how preposterously deep Michigan is at D:

The Wolverines are carrying nine defensemen on the roster right now: Chris Summers, Steve Kampfer, Brandon Burlon, Chad Langlais, Tristin Llewellyn, Scooter Vaughan, Greg Pateryn, Lee Moffie, and Eric Elmblad. The first four are locks to be in the lineup every night, barring injury. There are fewer games to go around (at least in theory) for the third-pairing defensemen since Kampfer and Burlon are healthy after missing a combined 24 games a year ago.

Wow. Vaughn's been dogged with persistent rumors of a move to forward, but they could hypothetically redshirt Moffie if he wanted to be redshirted. (Moffie wasn't drafted by the NHL, FWIW, so he might be amenable to that in an effort to get more playing time overall.) The upshot is that Bryan Hogan is the hockey team's Brandon Graham—he cannot get injured—and that the team looks like it should own again, though hopefully with better luck in the tournament this time.

Michigan Monday is always more fun after Michigan does not soil itself:

True freshman Tate Forcier got the start at quarterback and looked…well…he looked…okay, I’ll just come out and say it, he looked really, really good. There, I said it. He finished the game 13-20 for 179 yards and three touchdowns. He also carried the ball 11 times for 37 yards. Forcier looked completely comfortable throughout the entire game. He was poised and knew where to go with the ball just about every time.

Whole thing worth a read; skepticism expressed at what happens when Michigan gets "punched in the mouth" next week, which is fine metaphorically except for the fact that Notre Dame is not really a punch-you-in-the-mouth sort of team unless we get a –then-run-away-and-hide appended to it.

Etc.: Hemingway: new #1 receiver? Wojo again.

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September 8th, 2009 at 10:57 AM | Funniest title ever (Score:1)
Lorne
Joined: 07/30/2009
MGoPoints: 8

I haven't even read a word of this post yet but just had to comment about the title. I just laughed so hard I think I hurt myself. Well done sir. Well done.

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September 8th, 2009 at 11:00 AM | Maybe that's why we switched (Score:1)
BlockM
BlockM's picture
Joined: 07/03/2008
MGoPoints: 25313

Maybe that's why we switched to Adidas... Nike didn't think they could make garments to handle Martin's biceps.

@pnbloem | Ultra-MGoBoard

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September 8th, 2009 at 12:20 PM | nike's new line is going to (Score:1)
Geaux_Blue
Geaux_Blue's picture
Joined: 01/26/2009
MGoPoints: 20378

nike's new line is going to include full sleeves with fist padding so as to allow the prototype team the best advantages possible

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September 8th, 2009 at 11:15 AM | I'm excited to see what (Score:1)
sjastrz
sjastrz's picture
Joined: 11/09/2008
MGoPoints: 103

I'm excited to see what Hemingway can do against some better defenses this year.

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September 8th, 2009 at 11:28 AM | im really (Score:1)
MGoObes
MGoObes's picture
Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 1123

feelin that michael jackson "haters 2 da left" gif, pure excitement

http://cnbsports.com

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September 8th, 2009 at 11:46 AM | Sharik Diary (Score:1)
jamiemac
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 7894

Just wanted to point out the Sharik Diary was a great read. I actually paused the Miami/FSU game last night so I could give it my full attention.

Thanks for the shout out as well.

I welcome the new Diary monitoring. I think great stuff gets lost all the time off the front page because folks post forum material as a diary.

Help My Friend Allison Fight ALS 

MSU/IU at the JCB

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September 8th, 2009 at 11:49 AM | Now You've Done It (Score:1)
Enjoy Life
Enjoy Life's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 2477

Laughed hysterically at the kid in the video. I suspect Brain will now be inundated every week with kids in videos. It should be fun.

Life should not be a journey to the grave to arrive safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What A Ride!" HST

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September 8th, 2009 at 11:57 AM | Quibble on the lolcat (Score:1)
El Jeffe
El Jeffe's picture
Joined: 07/07/2008
MGoPoints: 6712

Quibble on the lolcat--do lions eat other cats? Shouldn't it be flipping out over a wolf or something?

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September 8th, 2009 at 12:16 PM | I thought the "catching" (Score:1)
TIMMMAAY
TIMMMAAY's picture
Joined: 09/08/2008
MGoPoints: 5951

I thought the "catching" blockers comment was referring to Mike Williams, I'll have to re-read it.

Edit: holy shit that video is teh awesomme.

not just "douchey" MGoBlog user, but now TRUSTED MGoBlog user

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September 8th, 2009 at 12:44 PM | Cute kid showed excellent (Score:1)
Sgt. Wolverine
Sgt. Wolverine's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 3523

Cute kid showed excellent accuracy with the pass that knocked Weis off the table. Maybe RR should add that to the playbook this week -- just have Forcier zip a pass at Weis.

I think two words need to be added to the picture of Martin: HULK SMASH.

Edit: ah, I see it's already happened. Ignore me.

Sportscenter.com raves: Sgt. Wolverine, "Michigan's biggest fan"!

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September 8th, 2009 at 12:51 PM | Is it just me? After watching (Score:1)
tikibarber
Joined: 09/08/2009
MGoPoints: 0

Is it just me? After watching the whole OSU game, and UM game I started thinking about the line play. I know we have a ton of time before the OSU game, but this refers to Boren. To me it looked like the OSU line was lazy and out of shape. I was extremely impressed by our d-line and 0-lines fitness and the way they came off the ball. I'm now starting to think Boren's transfer was due to the lack of extra time he wanted to put in and cited family values for an easy way out. Not the time and place for this, but I was just wondering if anyone else had the same feeling.

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September 8th, 2009 at 1:44 PM | OSU's line looked physically (Score:1)
West Texas Blue
West Texas Blue's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 1661

OSU's line looked physically fine. Alot of inexperience and players got moved around to different spots on the line. Some injuries also caused some reshuffling. Our O-Line was great in pass pro, but run blocking was meh in the 1st game. They'll work out kinks this week, I hope.

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September 8th, 2009 at 1:16 PM | Mike Martin (Score:1)
mgovictors23
mgovictors23's picture
Joined: 05/03/2009
MGoPoints: 91

That has to be the best title ever.

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