UM AD Message To Hockey Fans

Look, while it was a devilish act, and the FYS was appropriate in the moment, looking back it was not. There are kids present, and while I myself probably would have joined in, it is not OK to do that. Brian may have thought it was appropriate, and that is his opinion, but just because he writes it does not make it the word of God. I think that if it is heard again, or anything of that type for that matter, the ushers WILL kick out many people. I also think they will boot the band if they partake as well.

I hear you Patty.

I used to go to camp in the summers, and after each session, we'd come home swearing like sailors. Most of that was picked up in the cabin, but during meals there were camp cheers that bordered or went beyond what a stuffy prig would want their the precious ears of THE CHILDREN beholding...

"Farmer Brownie had a dog and Penis was his Name-O"

"Psycho Killer, Qu'est-ce que c'est? Fa fa fa fa...."

"Scrotum, Scrotum, S.C.R.O.T.U.M." (and variations)

"Hey senior girls, you're just like the [item on dinner menu]. You [sexually explicit double entendre]"

Then, a few parents got sick of it, and since they paid the bills, the following year, Farmer Brownie's dog's name changed to Bingo, and believe me the camp director looked pretty dumb trying to start it up after never taking part in the predecessor song for all those years. As for the rest of the songs, the counselors made it very clear that they were banned. Taboo. Never existed.

1984, six years late.

Personally, I love Michigan hockey's penalty cheer. I loved that cheer when I was a student, and want it to continue forever.

The penalty box cheer is old enough now that I think it's actually become tradition. I can't defend it as something I'd want my hypothetical children to hear. But I can tell you that in its way, it is special.

In Afghanistan under the Taliban, the only acceptable cheer at a soccer match was "G-d is great." In the NHL, "The Good Old Hockey Game" has a corporate sponsor. Where's the meaning in that anymore?

A real student cheer almost has to have swearing in it, because that prevents it, as has happened with virtually every other tradition in sports, from being hijacked by the promoters. I'm all in favor of people making a buck, but there's also something great about a cheer that's purely and incontrovertibly a student original. Until you go to a game, you will have no knowledge of the cheer, since M can never print it in a program or a new student orientation packet. Its unimpeachable authenticity then, I think, is that cheer's greatest value.

It also makes Yost a harder place to play. I don't have stats, but word around the NCAA for the last two decades places the old barn among the greatest home ice advantages. That's not just because the building is old, or because there's photos of Red on the walls. It's because if you're the visitor, then you're going to get called names, especially when you're already feeling down for causing a penalty. In fact, I remember a psychology student around during my time would talk about a study where she suggested that repetition of the word "sieve" to an opposing goalie has a good chance of negatively affecting his performance.

I never saw the study. But I don't doubt that the Yost cheers, so long as they're kept inside the barn, are a boon to the team.

Now, imagine that cheer is gone. An opposing player is being escorted to the box. Mouths open, but eyes are turned toward the security guards, and words don't come. In the vacuum, a solitary voice who hasn't gotten the memo begins: "Chump..." and instantly security is on him and he's being dragged outside. The crowd is cowed.

The world has all sorts of things in it that are truly disgusting. Rude words at a hockey game, passed on from one class to the next, is just part of the hockey game ambiance. The students get a kick out of it. And unlike camp, those who don't like the rude cheers don't make a significant fiscal impact.

Nobody I've ever met goes to see Michigan hockey for the family atmosphere. It's supposed to be about students and student-allied alumni unwelcoming to newcomers. Not every corner of the Earth needs to be sanitized for the precious ears of the children. Not every adult word and thought must be banished to the dark corners of society. Sometimes it's okay to just tolerate a little edginess, not because it's art, not because it's a private forum where such speech is officially approved, but because, fuck it, it's just a fucking college hockey game.