rundown of Michigan's riser
Tom Hammond, Move Over: It's Freekbass Time
Filed under:
Excited To See You Tom Hammond is no longer the most terrifying Notre Dame-related thing on the internet. I know this is hard to comprehend.
But never has a school been so ably summarized in four emasculating minutes:
You have to watch it. It will be the most conflicted four minutes of your life. It will be so horrible, but it will be awesome because it will be more horrible for the people this abortion ironically purports to represent. That guy redefining maximum levels of whiteness goes by "Freekbass," by the way, and has won an award. It is a sexy lamp sort of award, but it's an award. Soon he will have another award.
Explains the last 20 years, doesn't it? The people in charge of Notre Dame thought this was a good idea. They got poor Brian Kelly to show up in this thing. They deployed the school's cheerleaders as a hearty midwestern dance backdrop. They spent a lot of money and time to aim very carefully at their own testicles with a shotgun and pulled the trigger on their official youtube channel.
Of course they hired Bob Davie, George O'Leary, Ty Willingham, and Charlie Weis. Maybe they will end up in the Big Ten after all.
UPDATE: Reader Nick Gorski provides the perfect comparison: this is the exact opposite of Hockeybear blowing up Earth.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:21 AM | 
I watched on the MGoBoard and
I watched on the MGoBoard and
April 30th, 2010 at 11:24 AM |
youtube link
youtube link
They've disabled comments on the Youtube link. Probably to spare themselves of the public shaming that was sure to ensue.
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is never get involved in a land war in Asia - but only slightly less well-known is this: Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
April 30th, 2010 at 12:20 PM |
That was their only good decision
That was their only good decision
That was their only good decision in any area related to that video. I wish I could un-see it, but it would be too much fun to see that on the video board before the game. "Fans, please direct your attention to the video board for an introduction of tonight's opponent, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish!" Now that would be absolutely CLASSIC. Has an NCAA football game ever been cancelled for something like this?
April 30th, 2010 at 11:32 AM |
I'm on Day 12
I'm on Day 12
of quitting smoking and am considering stabbing every one.
This, however, made my day. Breathe easier, friends and collegaues.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:35 AM |
Just chew. That's what I did.
Just chew. That's what I did.
Just chew. That's what I did. You can be an athlete, have just as much fun in bars and get hit on by just as many women as usual.
or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:51 AM |
It makes me want to take up
It makes me want to take up
It makes me want to take up smoking...again after having quit many years ago, hideous.
Semper Fidelis
April 30th, 2010 at 11:33 AM |
May it echo off the Word of
May it echo off the Word of
May it echo off the Word of Life for eternity.
Like Ab Ripper X - I hate it, but I love it.
or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:36 AM |
That's as cool as...
That's as cool as...
..."Hey! Hey! Hockeytown!"
April 30th, 2010 at 2:15 PM |
Come on
Come on
As Red Wings fans, 'fess up, aren't you embarrassed by the "Hockeytown" song?
April 30th, 2010 at 11:38 AM |
WTF
WTF
What the hell was that? Freekbass? I was going into this ready to trash this video by spitting hot fire and flaming criticism. But now that I've watched it I think I will let it stand for itself.
Tressel: Pounding kids since April 2010.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:38 AM |
WOW that is embarrassing.
WOW that is embarrassing.
WOW that is embarrassing. I'm sending to all of my ND friends immediately.
'Murica & Footbaw: That's what Michigan Does
April 30th, 2010 at 12:41 PM |
Someone should send it to all
Someone should send it to all
Someone should send it to all the incoming ND recruits. Should be good for at least a decommit or two...
April 30th, 2010 at 1:16 PM |
For me, the most interesting
For me, the most interesting
For me, the most interesting thing was the lack of people of color in the video. Aside from athletes, I think I counted 4 african americans over the 4 minutes. ND isn't racist is it? Watch the video again. It's a sea of white folks.
April 30th, 2010 at 2:05 PM |
Or maybe...
Or maybe...
African Americans were smart enough to not be portrayed in this monstrosity
May 1st, 2010 at 1:57 PM |
It's one of the reason's it's
It's one of the reason's it's
It's one of the reason's it's harder to recruit to ND when everyone is on television. If you're on the football team, the only other faces of color you're going to see are your teammates. (And that's not even getting off campus to beautiful South Bend....)
"I love him, he's a great coach, he's a great mentor, he's a great friend. He's every single thing you want a college coach to be, and he does it flawlessly." -David Molk
April 30th, 2010 at 2:07 PM |
Maybe we should send it to
Maybe we should send it to
Maybe we should send it to Brian Kelly while we're at it... maybe he'll resign in shame when he sees his cameo.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:42 AM |
Did Brian Kelly bring this
Did Brian Kelly bring this
Did Brian Kelly bring this guy with him from Cinncinnati? Check this out:
April 30th, 2010 at 12:38 PM |
If Kelly's behind this video,
If Kelly's behind this video,
If Kelly's behind this video, it instantly justifies the hire for all eternity.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:41 AM |
This is like the ND version
This is like the ND version
This is like the ND version of 2 girls, 1 cup. I have heard how bad it is, I can imagine how bad it is, I don't really think I want to know how bad it is.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:44 AM |
Was this directed by Tom Haverford?
Was this directed by Tom Haverford?
Love the rap at 1:45. Anticon needs these guys
April 30th, 2010 at 12:40 PM |
Also, Who is the Dwight Shrute Looking
Also, Who is the Dwight Shrute Looking
guy that poorly lip-synchs next to him? He looks like an oversized, over-stuffed leprechaun in a hideous green Sgt. Pepper-era coat. Don't get me wrong, those coats looked appropriate on the Beatles - not him.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:44 AM |
I Couldn't Get Through It
I Couldn't Get Through It
and I've seen some nasty, foul, disgusting and perverse things on the internet.
Oh god, I can't get it out of my head!
April 30th, 2010 at 11:45 AM |
This song sounds like
This song sounds like
This song sounds like something out of the Johnny Depp version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEVilNDXd0A&feature=related
I'm a cucumber. | Twitter
April 30th, 2010 at 1:23 PM |
That's what I was thinking!
That's what I was thinking!
That's what I was thinking!
April 30th, 2010 at 11:55 AM |
I feel dirty
I feel dirty
I need a shower having watched that.... Can't wait for Irish's take....
Ugh....
In who's head is this a good idea? I'd love to have seen that meeting... who says "ya know what would be great? an ND music video!" then who says "Eureka! Let's do it!" Then who sees that final edit and goes "Notre Dame is this much better for this existing!"
"Over? Did you say, over? Nothing is over until we decide it is!"
April 30th, 2010 at 11:46 AM |
Thank you, God. For that. For sharing that bounty of wonder.
Thank you, God. For that. For sharing that bounty of wonder.
It is the most exquisitely, perfectly bad video in the history of video.
Since the Chinese tv reenactment of Tiger Woods driving his Escalade into a tree has no musical soundtrack, "We Are Notre Dame" takes over as the world's Number One worst video.
You can't plan something this bad. Hard work alone doesn't produce this kind of feebleness. This is magic. Only the Notre Dame mystique could induce vomiting this way. Thank you Holy Mary, Mother of God.
I checked the timer, and for me the moment that I moved beyond "What the Fuck" and into a kind of alternative-reality acceptance of things as they are, was at 1:37. I don't know why. It is just another mystery of our universe. Quite possibly the greatest mystery of our universe.
April 30th, 2010 at 12:02 PM |
I thought the Tiger Woods
I thought the Tiger Woods
I thought the Tiger Woods video was up there with the UAF video. But yeah, this is pretty bad...
April 30th, 2010 at 1:30 PM |
Bravo, sir
Bravo, sir
This is the best response to this video. I wouldn't change a word.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:47 AM |
I'll just leave this right
I'll just leave this right
April 30th, 2010 at 11:49 AM |
If Michigan ever does this, I'm done
If Michigan ever does this, I'm done
Done.
Christ in me arise and dispel all the darkness.
April 30th, 2010 at 2:38 PM |
UGH
UGH
If Michigan ever makes a video like this I may kill myself.
If you can't get into college,
go to State.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:51 AM |
Two shocking things....
Two shocking things....
First of all, for a guy calling himself "freakbass" he might want to try actually playing the bass for more than 20 seconds of a 4-minute video. (4 minutes of my life I want back)
Second of all, it is a stretch to call this rap or hip-hop or anything urban, but I found it funny that there are no black people in this video. I'm now completely convinced that the only minorities at Notre Dame play on their athletic teams after watching this video.
AC-1997
April 30th, 2010 at 11:52 AM |
Does ND even need to play out their season this year?
Does ND even need to play out their season this year?
They've already lost in so many ways.
It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future. -- Yogi Berra
April 30th, 2010 at 11:53 AM |
He is a Freakbass
He is a Freakbass
as in the fish or a Freakbass as in a bass guitar, damn I hope it is the former.
I love how he encourages ND Fans to "say it proud," there is nothing proud about that video.
http://twitter.com/#!/JHScramble
April 30th, 2010 at 2:28 PM |
Exactly
Exactly
When I saw it I thought of the fish, not the guitar.
His name fits with this song better if it rhymes with ass.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:56 AM |
Where
Where
in the hell is...IRISH!
I'm kind of a big deal in Bolivia.
April 30th, 2010 at 12:19 PM |
I think we'll have to
I think we'll have to
April 30th, 2010 at 12:29 PM |
Irish is busy
Irish is busy
running his ND fan club cards through the shredder.
"This is the EMU game, not the emo game."
April 30th, 2010 at 11:59 AM |
This
This
Contact Dave Brandon. They need to play this video on the Michigan Stadium scoreboard immediately before the 2011 game.
September 10, 2011. 7:55 pm.
April 30th, 2010 at 12:05 PM |
What say you, Alex Trebek?
What say you, Alex Trebek?
April 30th, 2010 at 12:02 PM |
Tom Hammond is worse. Unlike
Tom Hammond is worse. Unlike
Tom Hammond is worse. Unlike the music video, I can't just not hit play on Tom Hammond. If that image is on the page, it's on the page, staring into my soul. If we can just have the music video instead of Hammond, I will be a happy person.
April 30th, 2010 at 12:06 PM |
Bleach
Bleach
for my eyes, plz. Kthnx.
Proud member of the 6/30/2008 circle of trust.
April 30th, 2010 at 12:06 PM |
Comments from my wife even...
Comments from my wife even...
1) This is a bad cross between Big & Rich and the Village People.
2) They must not want any black students to come to Notre Dame.
I love my wife.
The reason for the world, is to make us long for HOME.
April 30th, 2010 at 12:27 PM |
It took
It took
that video to convince her of #2?
"This is the EMU game, not the emo game."
April 30th, 2010 at 12:10 PM |
That was Golic in there pumping a fist!!!
That was Golic in there pumping a fist!!!
I'm e-amiling Mike & Mike at ESPN right now.
The reason for the world, is to make us long for HOME.
April 30th, 2010 at 12:44 PM |
I thought of that.
I thought of that.
And what sort of compelling video the average NutriSystem infomercial is, compared to Freekbass.
April 30th, 2010 at 3:19 PM |
OMG Golic
OMG Golic
Should ask ESPN to write a cease and desist order to keep that video under wraps. If I were Greenie, I'd never - EVER - let him hear (or see) the end of it.
April 30th, 2010 at 12:13 PM |
That
That
Is pure 100% genius.
Hide ya kids, hide ya wife.
April 30th, 2010 at 12:15 PM |
This video demonstrates the value of diversity
This video demonstrates the value of diversity
If there had been one person of any sort of ethnic minority, one person who had grown up anything but firmly middle class, one person who was from any place other than the Midwest involved in producing this, they could have steered it toward a better course. But no, a bunch of white Catholic guys in their forties completely out of touch with popular culture convinced themselves that "this is what the kids like, but not too much, so we don't scare off the alums!"
April 30th, 2010 at 12:20 PM |
Poochie
Poochie
It reminds me of the Simpsons episode in which the TV executives create Poochie. "Now, Rastify him by 10%..."
It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future. -- Yogi Berra
I watched on the MGoBoard and will not subject myself to that again. Awful.
I just destroyed that toilet with a huge Rosenberg.