Sympathy For The Devil
Indoor soccer leagues are not particularly good about keeping things balanced. We were getting the shit kicked out of us because we were all 30 and out of shape and these kids were in high school. Since they were in high school, they were dicks. I'd just about gotten fed up when their goalie started making forays up the field in an attempt to score. Repeatedly. Just rubbing it in.
I started tracking him the next time he did it, with every intention of cleaning him out. As I reached him, he passed the ball. My fate was sealed anyway.
Without any semi-legal means of letting this guy have it, I punched him in the face. 30 seconds of rolling around later, my glasses were in tatters and I'd gotten a healthy suspension from an amateur indoor soccer league I didn't care very much about.
This is not at all what Frank Clark did. I am not drawing any sort of equivalence between the two events.
But I have been there, in the place where part of your brain that says "maybe we should think about this" is overwhelmed by a need for violence. I understand that many—too many—people come at this from the perspective of someone who has experienced or knows someone who has experienced the other end. That is valid. Of course it is. I come at it from the other end. I am a relatively normal person with a nice life, and there but for the grace of God and wife go I.
I struggle to say the appropriate things here because I think the idea of "thoughts" going out to the victims of such things is condescending at best. If you're ever in a position to help a person in that situation do it and if you're not then don't puff yourself up about how roundly you condemn such behavior. I don't see a whole lot of difference between people with the gall to blame the victim and those loudly proclaiming Clark a miserable waste of atoms.
This gets on my nerves because it's a quick leap from pointless moralizing to dismissing a guy forever as only that one thing in that one moment. I saw this picture and it took the wind out of me.
![Screen_Shot_2014-11-16_at_9.54.45_PM[1][2]](https://mgoblog.com/sites/mgoblog.com/files/images/da0200fa678a_D09D/Screen_Shot_2014-11-16_at_9.54.45_PM12.jpg "Screen_Shot_2014-11-16_at_9.54.45_PM[1][2]")
"Clark refused to look at the camera at the Perkins police station"
What did I do?
"Look at the camera."
That's not who I am.
"Look at the camera."
I thought I had left this behind.
Click.
Maybe Frank Clark's a bad guy. Or maybe one of the assholes waving him goodbye in the comments to make themselves feel better about themselves would have made the same screwup in the same situation, bottle-deep in a miserable football season after literally living a feral existence on the streets of Los Angeles for most of his youth.
It's not acceptable; Michigan had to make the decision it made. For once the program managed to handle something right. There have to be severe societal punishments for these things, and Clark's going through that.
He's got a choice now. He can be a guy that this happened to once, and he put it all away and forced all of that down as best he could and it never happened again. Or he can let it recur, and be the guy the internet says he is now. It's up to him. I don't know which way it will go, and that photo suggests he doesn't either.
I hope he makes it, and feel badly for him. Yes, as the perpetrator of a terrible thing. Yes. It is possible to be a bad person in a moment because you are wired to be angry, a wiring that comes easily when you've experienced way too much fear growing up. How many people are shitty all the time without tripping a line like Clark did?
It is heartbreaking for Frank Clark to almost make it. You should feel that part of this too.
November 17th, 2014 at 5:14 PM ^
I'd rather hold Frank Clark responsible for what he can control, not what he can't, at least in the courtroom of sympathy*.
Of law, sure, tee off on his wiring (but make some exceptions for control, such as insanity).
*I have no clue to what extent he could've controlled his actions here. Some will surely say "DV is always control." I think the truth is closer to "DV is almost always within control but greatly muddled by a nature vs. nurture argument and the context."
Brian noted that he's upset with those showing complete indignation and claiming moral superiority. I think what he means is something like: only a sith speaks in absolutes. I don't know fully what that means, but I think calling something/someone evil requires oversimplifying, basically.
November 18th, 2014 at 3:17 AM ^
November 17th, 2014 at 5:54 PM ^
It's the end of the trail for you.
November 17th, 2014 at 11:02 PM ^
double post
November 17th, 2014 at 11:01 PM ^
incident and entrails.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:46 PM ^
*Weird
November 17th, 2014 at 4:52 PM ^
Thanks, Moe.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:51 PM ^
November 17th, 2014 at 4:53 PM ^
Classy.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:56 PM ^
November 17th, 2014 at 5:15 PM ^
I thought my late 2011 post on the benefits of crystal stemware over plain glass was the epitomy of class.
November 17th, 2014 at 5:27 PM ^
Have a link? This interests me.
November 17th, 2014 at 6:07 PM ^
Dumb, nevermind.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:51 PM ^
I found it refreshingly honest.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:57 PM ^
Sent from MGoBlog HD for iPhone & iPad
November 17th, 2014 at 5:13 PM ^
I agree. He went on to say that he wasn't drawing any sort of equivalence from the soccer punch to Clark's assault... well then why mention it? Because that's certainly the implication of discussing both actions back to back.
November 17th, 2014 at 6:15 PM ^
that we have a passionate but seemingly non-dangerous blogger who thoughtlessly committed an act of violence. That's the equivalence. Not that the type or target of violence was equivalent, but that the thoughtless, stupid reptile-brain decision to lash out was an experience he did have in common with Frank Clark.
That's my interpretation obviously. I too have purposefully hurt people for no good reason. Just being wild, just being irritated playing basketball. Thankfully I didn't do worse than tweak a guy's ankle, but hell, I meant to hurt him. Felt awful immediately afterwards, and apologized - the guy never knew I meant to come down hard on him, but what I did has bothered me occasionally late at night for 20 years.
November 17th, 2014 at 8:31 PM ^
It's pretty tricky to, when writing something making an argument, include an anecdote to aid in making the argument, but frame it in such a way that it can't have issue taken with whether or not it's a fair or accurate comparison.
I say if you include it, you meant it. It's one of the most important parts of the piece, regardless of how it's framed. Brian wants it to help make his point without it making what's a more natural reading of his anecdote, which is that it makes what Frank did more understandable and less unreasonable.
November 17th, 2014 at 7:32 PM ^
b/c he can empathise with the feelings of rage whereby the only seemingly logical action in the heat of the moment is to the knock that fucker out.
I can also empathise- I've played in adult hardball leagues for over a decade (mostly in A2) and have experienced the exact same feelings in the exact same context- high school/early college kids who payed in the old mans league would get up a a dozen runs, then keep stealing bases, including home. Our pitcher goes up and in on them, and they get all offended. Benches clear, etc.
As Brian said, this doesn't attempt to equate the actions of Clark with this, just that in the heat of the moment, as mentioned you can go to a place one wouldn't normally think you could go.
November 17th, 2014 at 8:36 PM ^
I was in the heat of the moment when I shot and killed guy that cut me off on my way to work.
Is that similar too?
There are clearly much different lines being crossed, regardless of whatever caveats you put around it. These are not of the same motivation.
November 17th, 2014 at 6:17 PM ^
I feel as though this season has beaten me to a pulp emotionally, and this event is just the "soccer punch" in the nads that will take me to the mat.
A couple more weeks until the bell rings, than maybe the news will stop getting worse.
Please..?
November 17th, 2014 at 4:40 PM ^
Great writeup, Brian.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:40 PM ^
never take what you have (or have been given) for granted.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:40 PM ^
Nobody knows what has been done to Frank Clark as he grew up- doesn't excuse his actions but behind the hand of every perpetrator is another
November 17th, 2014 at 5:07 PM ^
BUT, behind his fists and choke holds are those of others? In other words you are excusing his actions by blaming them on those of somebody else. Who is this other perpetrator behind every current perp?
November 17th, 2014 at 4:41 PM ^
I hesitated saying something similar, mostly because I'm a woman, and I should side with the woman who got her clock somewhat cleaned. But I would imagine he put a great deal of time and effort into getting back into the good graces of not only his team but also himself after the laptop incident. That, in itself, is very heartbreaking.
November 17th, 2014 at 5:07 PM ^
In these situations, everyone loses. It's heartbreaking all around.
November 17th, 2014 at 7:22 PM ^
I hate it for both sides. I'm not much for the "I'm a victim, too" defense but I truly feel this situation won't benefit from my judgment.
November 17th, 2014 at 6:02 PM ^
And, it hardly needs to be said that condemning Clark for his actions, having sympathy for his S.O. and having sympathy for Clark are all non-mutually exclusive things. He's a human being who did something unforgiveable, but he's still a human being.
It also rates mention that Charles Ramsey, who became world famous when he helped rescue the Cleveland women who'd been kidnapped for a decade, had a long ago domestic violence incident on *his* record as well. He too was capable of doing awful things, but did the right thing when it really mattered. Who knows how any of us would rate in similar circumstances?
November 17th, 2014 at 4:43 PM ^
with this:
"it's a quick leap from pointless moralizing to dismissing a guy forever as only that one thing in that one moment."
thanks for putting this sentiment into words Brian; he's clearly made the wrong decision, and will have to deal with the consequences, but that doesn't mean we as fans should think of the guy as a "waste," someone to simply crumple up and toss in the trash... here's hoping he can pull out of this and make a positive life for himself
November 17th, 2014 at 4:46 PM ^
Thank you. I had a very similar reaction to that picture of Frank, it's just a sad situation, and I do feel badly for him. People don't want to leave any room for nuance in situations like this, which I think is a major problem in society in general.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:45 PM ^
Brian, I think this is really great. That being said, I'd point out that a lot of people (including me) view this through the lens of Frank Clark being a guy who already got a second chance at Michigan after pleading to a felony. You're absolutely correct in pointing out he's come from a fundamentally different background than a lot of us (nay, probably all of us), and everyone comes at situations from different contexts. But this was already his second chance, and he threw it away with two games to go in his senior season, seven days before he was to be feted on the field on Senior Day.
It's tragic for all involved, particularly for the victim and her siblings, who watched it happen in real time. The image of a young child running down a hotel hallway yelling "Frank is killing our sister!" is positively chilling. Frank Clark made a mistake, and a really, really bad one at that. You're right, he can learn from this. And I hope he will. I hope someone gives him a chance to prove he's grown from this. Yet given the severity and particulars of this case, in context of the kinds of football domestic violence issues in the news this past year, it's hard to fathom how, when, or where that might happen. It very well might have to be outside football, and there's nothing wrong with that.
When Fielding Yost pioneered the novel idea that a physical game like football, properly played and constituted, could make ordinary men into far better people, I'd like to think he had guys like Frank Clark in mind. That's what Michigan is all about. It's up to Frank Clark to make the next move, and for people like Brady Hoke and the Michigan Athletic Department to give him the nudge or two he might need, even if it's outside athletics.
November 17th, 2014 at 5:08 PM ^
I would comment on a couple things.
1 for Brain... This didn't "happen" to Frank Clark. Mr. Clark (apparently) got drunk and beat up a much smaller person who likely had no way to defend herself. I agree wholeheartedly with everything else you said and my heart bleeds a little for the guy as well.
2 Brando, my only beef with what you said is the part about "severity and particulars". I think some facts remain unknown on this point. I'm 6 foot and probably a shade under 200 lbs. If Frank Clark wanted I'm pretty sure he could do incredible damage to me any time he chose. He clearly lost control, but she wound up ok... he stopped (thank God). I think the court needs to come to some sort of understanding as to his mindset. He needs to be severely punished, but not thrown away. You're absolutely right about M athletics helping him forward with his redemption. Even though he'll never play for Michigan again.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:50 PM ^
This is not very important, but I'd love to know how you were able to break this story. I sincerely doubt you are search the Erie County Jail website for arrest logs at 2AM, so I assume you were tipped off on this.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:50 PM ^
I don't condone what Frank did and he is paying a steep price for his HUGE mistake. With that said I hope Frank did not beat himself out of a shot at the NFL. I hope Barwis gets his hands on him trains him and they get him some help from a mental health professional.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:50 PM ^
Well done Brian. This is really a sad situation. I feel horrible for all the parties involved here.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:51 PM ^
Wow, that picture makes me feel awful. You can tell that he knows he messed up. Breaks my heart.
November 17th, 2014 at 4:52 PM ^
But I am left struggling with the contradiction between this and the Gibbons incident and am finding myself thoroughly confused.
November 17th, 2014 at 5:05 PM ^
What do you mean? I'm really asking...
November 17th, 2014 at 5:23 PM ^
one guy was criminally charged, one guy was never criminally charged. I was the attorney for a domestic violence shelter, well aware of the consequences and never ending cycle of domestic violence...and yet I feel more sympathy toward Frank Clark. (I think most of the board does as well) Why?
November 17th, 2014 at 5:39 PM ^
Thanks. I don't know the answer.
November 17th, 2014 at 5:52 PM ^
I think you may be viewing Clark more favorably because there are some indications of contrition (for example, the poignant booking photo in Brian's article - that looks like a broken man). Gibbons has not to my knowledge shown one bit of contrition, so if you're inclined to believe he was guilty, it makes him a less sympathetic character.
Just my guess.
November 17th, 2014 at 5:56 PM ^
If someone said to you that as the photo was taken, Frank said "f*** your camera," could it not be seen as defiant rather than contrite? [NB: I agree with Brian's interpretation of the photo.]
It could be that Gibbons never had a chance to offer public contrition through similar means, and he did not want his name out there more than necessary (or indeed, he may not have wanted to collect any sympathy he may deserve simply because he felt so terrible).
November 17th, 2014 at 6:02 PM ^
It's funny, because when I saw the booking photo I checked myself to see if Clark is broken up about (a) what happened (a good reaction) or (b) what happened to him (a lesser reaction). So your point is a good one - these sorts of photos are subject to our projecting meaning that may or may not be there.
On Gibbons, you'll note that I was careful to state "(if you think he's guilty)" which is an important qualifier. I read the police reports, find them damning, and thus am not sympathetic with Gibbons. But I sure don't know whether he's guilty.
In any event, I was just taking a stab at why Mabel Pines was feeling a bit conflicted here. Another reason to feel conflicted is that Clark was (outwardly, at least) such a great story of redemption, after the laptop stupidity. He had worked his way to a great position, and based on what we're hearing squandered it through an act of violence.
November 17th, 2014 at 5:59 PM ^
Contrition? That could just as easily be the face of someone who is only upset because he knows he just lost his shot at a future in football. Clark has a much longer past of getting into trouble than Gibbons did, so I don't see how he get's the benefit of the doubt when it comes to remorse.
November 17th, 2014 at 6:08 PM ^
You're right. A snapshot won't get us into Clark's head. As before, I was just theorizing about why MP might be conflicted when comparing the two situations. To me, Clark looks contrite.
I will say, that based on the police report from the Gibbons incident and Gibbons's actions (including Lewan's involvement after the incident), I don't have much sympathy for Gibbons. And Gibbons's background did not, to my recollection, smack of coming from a rough background. And rape is a fundamentally different crime than domestic violence (although they have meaningful similarities, esp. w/r/t the assertion of power over a victim).
November 17th, 2014 at 6:30 PM ^
Just playing devil's advocate here, but it's silly to say that just because Gibbons didn't come from a rough background that context didn't play a role in his decision. He was a football player, finally experiencing some noteriety around campus, hanging out with other football players who are used to getting girls in similar ways all the time, no doubt pressured by the other football players he was hanging out with to go after this girl and to not take no as an answer... context is still key. Brian said that there's no way to know if any of us would make the same decision as Clark given his situation - the same logic applies here (if you buy it).
November 17th, 2014 at 7:00 PM ^
I didn't say that context did not play a role in Gibbons decision. Context always plays a role when you're trying to understand violent actions. So stipulated.
My impression is that one of the ways that rape seems different from domestic violence is that rape is a horrible decision (i.e., not usually impulsive) while domestic violence is a horrible action that - in most cases - is more of a failure to control impulse than a decision. Anger management is aimed at avoiding that impulsiveness, and understanding where it comes from.
Assuming both are guilty, which we don't know, here's where I am on this. With Gibbons, he had to make a decision to rape the victim. With Clark, he did not control his propensity toward violence. Gibbons's decision could have been driven by his perception that he is in a position of privilege (context!). Clark's impulse control issues could be rooted in his unstable background (context!). Between those two, it's not unreasonable to be more sympathetic to Clark - as awful as what he appears to have done is.
Finally, I don't know where you get that Gibbons was "no doubt pressured by the other football players ... to go after this girl and not take no as an answer". I've not seen any evidence of that. But if that is the story, it's out-and-out rape. Even if your buddies tell you to "not take no as an answer" it's still rape. And it's not context that makes me sympathetic to the rapist.
November 17th, 2014 at 9:33 PM ^
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