Just so we're all on the same page, this llama (via) is dressed as Batman, because Horford is transferring from a team that graduates Jordan Morgan for reasons of playing time. Farewell, and good luck, Al Llama Batman Sartre Horford; our time together was too short to understand each other, but I shall ne'er forget the awesome.

Let's start with that because things are about to get even weirder and less relevant (e.g. Michigan's spring game). But first: VICTORS:

If you're like "what?" that was the final standings among MGoBloggers in the Draftstreet 40k TourneyDraftstreet 40k Tourney a few weeks ago. Thank to our fantasy partners again for sponsoring the Day 1 and Sweet 16 liveblogs and everything; if anybody else wants to see how much fun it can be to give me money, jump in on the 100k MLB tourney for $22, or place in the top 5 of one of the $1 satellite leagues to win an entry.

It's a bit early for early returns, no? The Diarist of the Week™ (sorry I've been lapsing on that) is alum96 for his double feature (offense, defense) that looked at the various Übermenschen from Hoke's first uber-class as they enter their junior and redshirt sophomore season. I chart:

That's actually way better than I thought. Injuries set back some of them, and half of those who don't look like they'll turn out to be Big Ten-caliber players have been getting a lot of playing time regardlesss. More amazing, only Kaleb Ringer is gone.

Speaking of Morgan:

David Merritt is doing a signing event with J-Mo this afternoon at his store on South U.

Basketball diaries/etc.: Padog is now into the better-than-Indiana part of his worst-to-first conference preview of next year's Big Ten basketball teams, with Penn State, and Minnesota. Final stats on the shooty 2013-'14 season by LSA.

[Jump for a board of great relevance]

Best of the Board

OH. MY. GOD. I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH JOHN CALIPARI

Hey, the NCAA is nothing like Russia, okay? Take off.

I'm momentarily suspending the no-politics rule, with apologies to any communist readers (#stayweirdannarbor), because Calipari's analogy of the crumbing Soviet Union to the NCAA is spot-on. Having your population work for the glory of work itself while letting you reap all the profits is brilliant so long as the peons don't ask about the fairness of it. But then they do, so you have to pass a rule that they're not allowed to ask about it. And then another rule. And pretty soon either you're spending all your time battling the black market or just ignoring it and riding it out. Glasnost!

Calipari also suggested a few ideas that the Michigans of the world could implement fairly easily, and the Indiana States couldn't possibly afford: $3-5k in spending money, cover insurance premiums, allow them to accept loans up to $50k against future earnings, let players transfer if their coach leaves, and one round-trip flight home every year. The coach-leaving one is a bit ironic coming from a guy who tends to leave wastelands behind himself.

It's been coming for awhile: Derrick Gordon is the first openly gay athlete in the sport we cover.

Strange bedfellows indeed, but I guess he'd know better than most what players want most.

And while the politics monitor is turned off…

COMING OUT: WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS NOW

Jason Collins was the first major-sport athlete in the country to be openly gay. Michael Sam was the first football player, though he did so publicly after he finished his college career. At this point, the march toward general acceptance of gay athletes isn't a fait accompli, but I think it's built a healthy enough lead that a few more scores will put the game out of reach. The dagger that may have just put it into foul-hour: starting UMass basketball sophomore Derrick Gordon came out this week.

Obviously this subject can get touchy quickly—say "horray" or "so what?" and you've just told everyone your politics. Make a moral judgment and you've just called the people who disagree with you immoral, or at the very least put your understanding of morality up for debate. If you find it impossible to debate this without calling someone who disagrees with you (or the institutions they're part of) shamefully immoral, stay on the sidelines.

Why mention it here? I speak only for myself—people who write for this site have different opinions—but I think it's irresponsible for a blog that covers college athletics to ignore the specific moment, no matter how inevitable it was. Each successive announcement is going to be less news, and that's the point: once somebody finally steps forward to be the gay guy who plays college basketball, the next guy and the next guy after that gets to just be a basketball player who happens to be gay.

People who believe in the existence of Avant weren't helped any when he signed this week with a fictitious NFL team in Carolina.

THE FAMILY TACO

Tacopants family name practices vary and things can get confusing. Because they're made of baby laughs, puppies and dreams, Taco family lineages are notoriously difficult to track.

As best as our scientists can tell: Nachoshorts, the 3-foot-5 invisible slot receiver/screen-receiving back whom Threet was constantly throwing to, is a cousin. Tacoshorts, the 8-foot Kentucky wing whom the Harrisons are constantly finding open on the baseline, is a younger brother.

When ESPN discovered 7'5 high school basketball player Taco Fall it was initially believed he might be a half-brother who has apparently figured out how to exist on this plane. This of course brings into question whether he can teach our cornerbacks to do the same. Further investigation revealed he may be a nephew of Tacopants. If you think that's weird, just remember that Tacopants is Jason Avant's imaginary friend. It stands to reason that Avant would imagine a friend his own age, and Avant turns 31 next week, so why couldn't Tacopants have an older sibling in their late 30s with a kid in high school? This is all a big leadup to reminding you this meme is now 10 years old, and your favorite players' kids are now recruits.

GO BLUE: THE BOWL

I should mention Avant himself was one of the coaches at Marlin's Go Blue Bowl last week and gave one of the more inspirational (and concise) speeches to the kids. His hands, as you might imagined, are ridiculous. Since Eric has been slow to upload the photos from that here's some crappy ones from my iPhone after we came inside. See if you can spot Jeremy Gallon in a room full of 13-year olds.

ETC. Brandon interviewed yet another QB target. Austin Hatch takes the least recruiting-oriented official visit ever. Make a Go Blue license plate in Texas. Spring threads: offense, defense. Softball is destroying the Big Ten; Hutch got her 500th.

Your Moment of Zen:

Three years ago this week: