Season Ticket Sales: Solutions Comment Count

BiSB

There are no more opponents to watch, and the Twitterverse is a sad, scary place these days. As such, I am a man without a column. Anyone with ideas should tell me what to write about. In the meantime, I shall snark upon whatever suits my fancy. Today, that topic is Microeconomics.

HalfEmpty

So, as you may have heard, season ticket sales are really, really not going well for the University of Michigan men’s American Football teamsquad. Now, some might see this as an opportunity for a hearty I-told-you-so. Or to remind certain people that you can shear a sheep many times, but skin him only once. Or to recite The Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs in a somewhat condescending manner (I do a really good goose voice). But we try to be solution-oriented here at MGoBlog, and Aesop doesn’t know crap about marketing, so instead I’d like to offer a few suggestions for improving ticket sales:

Play Someone Interesting – This may seem counterintuitive, but some fans have suggested that the quality of the opponent bears some relationship to their willingness to pay to witness them in action. Now, I question the premise here, as those Twilight movies made a metric crap-ton of money despite that actress being the theatrical equivalent of a botox injection, but nevertheless the program might want to consider a few more intriguing foes:

  • Kansas Jayhawks – Kansas is a power conference team, which makes them automatically a big name, and a chance to watch Michigan beat up on a Charlie Weis team is almost always worth the price of admission. Also, reminding people about the Trey Burke things doesn’t hurt either.
  • Arizona Wildcats – A matchup against a former head coach? What is there to NOT like about this? Think of all the plotlines. The game practically markets itself.
  • Minnesota State Screaming Eagles – Not a traditional powerhouse, but they made a surprising national championship run a few years back. It would probably produce a win, too, as the Screaming Eagles are still in a transition phase after losing head coach Hayden Fox to the Orlando Breakers in a move that didn’t make a damn bit of sense to anyone.
    MinnesotaState
    But Jerry Van Dyke was still awesome.
  • Harlem Globetrotters – Another tradition-heavy program, and bring the WOW Factor Michigan needs in an opponent. Again, this one should produce a win, as the Globetrotters style of play lacks discipline and they are limited by a 28-man roster, only two of whom are over 225 pounds.
  • Appalachian State Mountaineers – How about a rematch that reminds people of one of the lowest moments in the history of the stadium you are trying to fill? Wait, never mind. That sounds terrible. Don’t do that. And whatever you do, don’t LEAD with that.

Move Michigan Stadium closer to the fans – Dave the Brandon recently opined that he wants to improve the “driveway to driveway” experience for fans. And I know my experience would be a lot better if my driveway was closer to the stadium.

Move the fans closer to Michigan Stadium – Related to the previous point, a fan relocation/resettlement program could get people closer to the stadium, and therefore make them more willing to buy tickets. But given real estate prices in the Ann Arbor area, moving an 87-year-old football stadium in every direction simultaneously might be the more feasible and cost-effective solution.

Promotional Giveaways/Tie-ins

Everyone who attends home games should receive the following:

  • App State – A hand-held memory-erasing device (a la Men In Black), or, if that technology isn’t developed in the next four months, a handful of forget-me-nows and a flask of moonshine.
  • Youts

    Two hwaht?

    Miami (Ohio) – A free iTunes download of a replay of Michigan beating someone good. Presumably those can be uploaded from 8mm tape somehow.

  • Utah – A Joe Pesci bobblehead
  • Minnesota – Smelling salts.
  • Penn State – A copy of the award-winning documentary “27 for 27”
  • Indiana­ – Three catches for 41 yards against the Indiana secondary
  • Maryland – 38 pounds of pointy scrap iron.

Name a Starting Quarterback – Okay, this one is unrelated. It would just make us all a lot happier. It’s Gardner. We all know it’s Gardner. Just say it.

Cooler Game Monikers – "Under The Lights" was cool. So was the "Big Chill." And "Under The Lights II." And "Michigan vs. Notre Dame." No one gives a crap about Michigan vs. Miami (Ohio), but who wouldn’t want to attend the Battle of Bo?  Or “App State 2: The Revengening”? Or the “Footprint Classic” against Maryland?

Hashtags – Like game monikers, everyone loves hashtags. Fortunately, Jim Delany had the foresight to bring in a couple of schools who really get this whole social media internet thing.  There is much genius to be gleaned from #BlackoutSparty and #ChopMichigan.

BlackoutSparty

ChopMichigan

#GopherTheJugular

#HoosierFreeSafetySupposedToBeCovering

#TerrapinsAreTerribleMascots

Fan Involvement – Give season ticket holders the chance to win some cool prizes. For example, have a randomly selected student be a “Player for a Day.” They would basically be an honorary member of the team, and do everything the team does on game day. They would dress with the team, run out of the tunnel, warm up, and then play sixty snaps at left guard. Or they could bring Score-O to the football field; have a couple of adults try to throw a football through a hoop from 20 yards, and then have a young kid try from like 5 yards and then the kid plays sixty snaps at left guard. Or stage an alumni golf tournament where your handicap is 100 x how much your name is Steve Hutchinson, and the winner gets to play left guard.

Contra
Tell me you wouldn’t pay a PSL for this.

Better use of the Jumbotron – Michigan is overlooking a huge and largely untapped asset: the two giant-ass televisions in the stadium. At this point, between plays they are mostly wasting those screens with the occasional replay and a bunch of videos of players telling me to get up get up I can’t hear you get up. They could be showing other, probably better games. They could be showing reruns of The Big Bang Theory (surely the stadium must have TBS). They could hook them up to an old school Nintendo, and then let people play huge games of Contra; if no one uses any cheat codes, all 112,000 should be able to play a turn. The possibilities are endless.

Monkey Rodeo – Obvious.

Obvious.

Ticket Prices – Maybe, and only if all of the above items fail, just MAYBE the Athletic Department should look at ticket prices, and whether it is a great business idea to double or triple ticket prices over the last decade, especially when the product on the field has gone to shit and the best games are shipped off to Dallas and you allowed the Big Ten to give you alternating years without either of your rivalry games at home and people can’t even bring a goddamn bottle of water into the stadium and the band has been largely replaced by BUILD ME UP BUTTERCUP and you just implemented and then rescinded a disastrous attempt at the FREEKING EASY concept that is General Admission seating and you implemented a “dynamic pricing” scheme that acts as a one-way ratchet on single game tickets and Athletic Department revenue is soaring as is the Athletic Department’s spending on the Athletic Department and you have otherwise done just about everything imaginable to milk every possible nickel out of our brand loyalty. Just a thought.

WiFi – Never mind, just get some free WiFi working in the stadium. That’ll fix it.

Comments

MLaw06

April 24th, 2014 at 10:42 AM ^

Fun read BisB. 

My one quibble is that the rivals in alternating years is a double edged sword.

In 2015, 2017, etc., we get BOTH MSU and Ohio at home.  In the aggregate, you're no worse off then if it was split up every year, in my opinion.  Season tix in odd years will be much more valuable than season tix in even years - that's the new paradigm.

Evil Empire

April 24th, 2014 at 10:43 AM ^

Technically I bought the season ticket belonging to someone else for the previous 17 seasons.  I'm not shelling it out for this home slate.  I may attend two games.  I'm not driving three hours to Ann Arbor to see Appalachian State, I've already done that.  Of course my big brother is buying the aforementioned ticket, so Devastatin' Dave will be able to pay his jai alai coaching staff despite my huffiness.

notetoself

April 24th, 2014 at 10:50 AM ^

can you imagine the anticipation that would build if you were holding the controller, waiting for the next TV timeout so you could have your turn? and the revenge you'd want to exact on the douche sitting behind you who's been criticizing the quarterback on every play by demolishing his measly contra score? good lord, it would be ELECTRIC (albeit 8-bit).

MGoNukeE

April 24th, 2014 at 10:55 AM ^

because once I get the spread shot it's over... unless Player 2 scrolls the screen too fast on the Waterfall or grabs the invulnerability in the Energy Zone.

Prince Lover

April 24th, 2014 at 11:09 AM ^

Give every fan entering the stadium a headset and long sleeves.
Because everybody knows, once you get the headset, then you get the power, then you get the women.

alum96

April 24th, 2014 at 11:39 AM ^

I support all ideas in this post except the free wifi. Why do simple when you can do complex?  As they say, keep it complex stupid (KICS).

 

steve sharik

April 24th, 2014 at 2:13 PM ^

...why isn't Dave implementing free market principles? What a hypocrite. /s

No more pricing. Sell season tickets on eBay for a week; bidding starts at $500. Whatever seats don't sell are sold on eBay starting after that week, starting at $10 a seat. Students have their own special auction--no season tickets. 25K seats are reserved for the student auction; bidding starts at $5 a seat. Any seats not purchased go into regular auction.

EDIT: Okay, I guess I needed /s at the end, too.

MGlobules

April 24th, 2014 at 11:46 AM ^

and playing Old Time Rock n Roll enough times that everyone memorizes it--or even giving everyone Toys R Us plastic guitars and bringing Bob back from the grave to teach the three chords (wait, he's still. . . ?)  

Otherwise, this is a very comprehensive list. 

EDIT: or how about Madonna, Bob, and Iggy Pop three-etting? My brain is melting just trying to imagine. 

MGlobules

April 24th, 2014 at 1:58 PM ^

all that bad, I am now realizing. . . . Inherited a big pile of old KC, Sylvester, and other vinyl and. . . yes it got formulaic*, but. . . try listening to the radio with my daughter on the way to a soccer game for perspective. . .

 

*We winnow the garbage so you don't have to!

543Church

April 24th, 2014 at 11:48 AM ^

My driveway is 2 miles from the stadium and I won't go to the games.    It has all been covered here before but my reasons are:

1) It is way too expensive to go.  I have a family of four with two boys.  My wife and I each have two degrees from UM and live in AA.  We should be in the wheelhouse for the fanbase.   I'm not paying thousands of dollars to take my family to the games.

2) The stadium experience is awful.  It reminds me of an NBA game with the constant artificial noise.  I am 6'4" and hate being wedged into a little space on the bleachers.  If I stand I block the person behind me. 

2) I have better things to do on Saturdays.  Going to a game takes up too much of my time with kids having soccer, school activities, or me just needing to get things done around the house.  I carve out 3.5 hours to watch the game on Saturday, often on DVR because

3) HDTV is awesome and having everygame on TV diminishes the uniqueness of the in-person experience.  When I was a kid I listened to most games on the radio,  maybe getting to see one or two on TV a year.  The first time I went to a game it was amazing because everything I pictured in my mind was now right there in front of me. 

4) The team is not very good and they play crap opponents.

So, there it is.  The confessions of a middle-aged man who used to be a much bigger fan than he is now.

 

543Church

April 24th, 2014 at 1:46 PM ^

Uhhh....I must know you because "Dio made me do it" was my catchphrase a long time ago.  I once dumped a mason jar full of beer on my head at a party.  When asked why, my only response was "Dio made me do it".  In reality the beer itself caused me to do it but Dio was a much easier scapegoat because he kicked so much ass.

 

pullin4blue

April 24th, 2014 at 11:51 AM ^

Personally, I think if they would allow alcohol sales inside the stadium it would increase season ticket sales. Our University President MSC said she would never allow alcohol sales and I believe the incoming President is also against alcohol sales. We allowed sales for the NHL game (you couldn't have a hockey game without beer sales), why can't we do it for football. It would also improve revenues.

UM456670

April 24th, 2014 at 12:05 PM ^

Due to family and travel reasons, we will not be able to attend many of the games this year.  We have a number of trips scheduled to visit grandchildren in CA.

The seats are in Section 23 Row 60 right at the 50-yard line.

We seek to break even and sell the tickets at face value plus the non-gift portiion of the PSL.  The ticket price was $925 and the nnon-deductible portion of the PSL was $240.

Please advise of any interest to [email protected].  This is the view from these seats prior to the game in November.

Ron Utah

April 24th, 2014 at 12:06 PM ^

What a great column.  Perfect in both its comedy and its utility (or lack thereof) and definitely more of what we need around here.  Thank you for making me laugh.  The Hoosier hashtag nearly killed me.

As for future columns during the doldrums, how about starting a series that reviews one of our '14 opponents each week and compares their statistical futility of last season to ours, and compares their strengths to UConn and Akron.  By keeping it funny, you avoid the emo aspect while still setting expectations to reasonable.

Just my two cents.

borninAnnArbor

April 24th, 2014 at 12:38 PM ^

Personally, while I love contra (and just got it on the ipad a few days ago) I would love to see Mike Tyson's punchout on the big screen. But with a slight twist. The fighters should be wearing big ten team helmets.

For example:
Glass joe is wearing a Perdue helmet

King Hipoo has Wiscinson and so on...
any help with other teams? (Piston Honda is Indiana? all offense and no defense?)

markusr2007

April 24th, 2014 at 12:54 PM ^

is the schedule.

Michigan should be scheduling a ton of "first dates" and also reconvene some previous "meetings":

FIRST DATES:

LSU (first date ever)

Clemson (first date ever)

Texas Tech (first date ever)

West Virginia (first date ever)

 

REUNION GAME!:

Arizona (definitely! first meeting since 1978)

Oklahoma (last meeting 1976)

USC (last meeting 2004, but never played in Big house)

Georgia (last meeting 1963)

Army (last meeting 1945)

Navy (last meeting 1981)

Texas (last meeting 2005)

Baylor (last meeting 1997)

North Carolina (last meeting 1979)

Missouri (last meeting 1975)

Duke (1978)

 

 

 

 

Bill the Butcher

April 24th, 2014 at 1:25 PM ^

I know its cool and hip on this blog to rag on Dave Brandon, but what about the Big Ten changing the schedule and making us play @MSU two years in a row?

I'm not saying the schedule is perfect, but for the most part these non-conference games are booked years in advance.  Hell 4 years ago Utah was a powerhouse that had been to a few BCS bowls.  It's not really our fault they fell off the map.  Penn State, Utah, and a home game against a Michigan State team that was probably the second best team in the country last year is a pretty decent home schedule when you consider that 2/3 of the Big Ten is garbage and that we play OSU and ND away.  

I still have not heard an explanation from the Big Ten about why they switched our Home/Away years with MSU to make us play @ MSU and OSU in the same year.  

In my opinion that is something drastically changed the marketability of this home schedule and our Athletic Department had no possible way to know/plan for that.  And like I mentioned earlier, Utah was a good team when we booked that game and they had just moved to a power conference.  That seemed like a good series. 

I agree with some criticisms, of course, like the fact that App State is coming back to town, but really with what we thought would be a quality Utah team, and ND on the road, that set up to be a decent OOC schedule.  The problem here lies with the shitty Big Ten slate, which is in part due to the fact that we don't get State at home this year.  Imagine trading Indiana at home for MSU at home.  That would have given us Big Ten home games against Minnesota, PSU, MSU, and Maryland.  Two of those are big name programs, another one is for the Brown Jug, and the last one is somewhat interesting because Maryland is new to the conference and will likely wear horrific uniforms.  

Again, I understand that there is some concern about the home schedule, and I get it.  But I think the anger is misdirected at our athletic department when it should be directed toward the conference.  It really made no sense whatsoever for the Big Ten to switch our Home/Away years with MSU, which now forces us to go to MSU and OSU every other year.