A little quote from Team America "World Police".
"America may be a big dick, and might sometimes screw the pussies, but only a dick can screw the assholes. And if America doesn’t screw the assholes, they’re gonna shit on everyone, the pussies and the dicks.”
Substitute these in there;
America = Michigan
Pussies = Mid-Majors
Assholes = Dantonio/Michigan State, Weis/Notre Dame, Tressel/Ohio State