Put Your Money Where Your Dumb Is
My new preferred way of dealing with idiocy surpassing all bounds of reason—or "hobby" in XKCDese—is this:
From: Brian Cook mgoblog@gmail.com
To: dpoe@newsandsentinel.com
Subject: Attn: twitI run mgoblog. I will bet you your entire year's salary that Rich Rodriguez does not get fired after this season. Since you believe it's "obvious" he will be fired, this is an opportunity for you to make a cool fifty bucks.
-Brian
It's satisfyingly goading, and when the twit in question fails to respond it's a tacit admission that the assessment in the subject is correct.
This, of course, was in response to idiocy surpassing all bounds of reason that you may have seen linked and mocked various places already. Money graf:
First, it's pretty obvious to me this is going to be Rich Rodriguez's last season as the head football coach at the University of Michigan.
The rest of it is a bunch of one-sentence paragraphs that end up with Rodriguez landing at Marshall. It's not coherent enough to bother fisking, but one of the sentences says the alumni "hasn't" warmed up to Rodriguez. (No, guy on the message board thread, that's not proper usage. Alumni is a plural noun—alumnus is the singular version—instead of a singular noun (like "flock") that describes a group.)
We'll see if he takes me up on the offer. I bet he doesn't.
I read mgoblog regularly because I'm hoping any day now Brian's inherent fatalism will click in and he'll switch over to USC. I've been reading for four years, and each day he doesn't is another day of depression at the thought of college football's best writer writing about stuff I don't care about.
Except I kinda do care, now. I can name half of Michigan's roster. I don't want to care, either.
So, basically, this is how it is: this is below Brian. Of course it is. This post is still excellent because I love watching intelligent people eviscerate less intelligent people. Brian dropped two (2) xkcds on this poor guy. Overkill? I don't care.
Think about it this way: the higher road involves this post not existing, which means we all get one less Brian-item to read. I'd rather him channel his ire into one brief ball of flame than dissipate that passion in a show of maturity. Please put maturity in sarcasm quotes, because it is not mature to deprive the world of a classically executed take down.
I agree here. Brian is one of the best, natural writers around. I feel it's the subject matter that brings out the beasties and troll like replies. Subject matter being sports. I think we've all left some replies out there that have sucked. But because of Brian we're all still here able to comment and ramble.
Awesome comment back. RichRod haters are getting on my nerves too, especially these type of ones that present no info just saying Rich Rod is gone.
I like the way Ellen uses alumnus in this commencement speech.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JccudODwwY
Brian, this rules. Cut the "I'd rather not see MGoBlog sink to this level" nonsense. We read MGoBlog because it's not a newspaper. It's a goddamned mercenary. It's an E-Blog and - no sugarcoat - E-Blogs are supposed to stir shit up.
Poe wrote an epic piece of sensationalist and ridic garbage. Brian getting into prose-based war with this clown town would be akin to an orangutan getting into an arm wrestling match with Stephen Hawking. That rules and if you think otherwise, then you're obviously a limp-wristed pony lover. That's not fact, that's also e-pinion.
Plus, all of this is funny. What else is there to talk about right now? It's not like anyone is super cereal, either. Brian made fun of a shitty writer and said he made $50 bucks a year. Big deal. That's funny. I hope this hack tries to shoot back, only to get mowed down like McCauly Caulkin at the end of "My Girl."
Think about the vikings. Were they nancy boys, parading around in pantyhose, getting sensitive with each other? Were they worried about getting in e-blog slap fights with bumblenuts like Poe? Hell no. They shot arrows and ate pussy.
www.pastoralgenocide.wordpress.com
"We read MGoBlog because it's not a newspaper. It's a goddamned mercenary. It's an E-Blog and - no sugarcoat - E-Blogs are supposed to stir shit up."
I read it not because of the medium it is or isn't, but because it provides consistently worthwhile in-depth coverage of Michigan sports, and because it exhibits a level of quality and professionalism not found on many other blogs. The sort of nonsense displayed in this post is something I can find anywhere on the internet, and it's pointless and tiresome.
sgtwolverine.com
How many slap fights has Brian gotten involved with over the years? Last year it was Alabama over-signing (though a different situation worthy of a detailed fisking.) This year its intentional controversy from WV. With the hundreds of posts Brian makes each year, surely you can tolerate one or two devoted telling people when they are wrong.
Besides, I think most people here find it satisfying to ridicule the worst offenders in terms even the internet morans (intentional internet meme) can understand.
As I said earlier, the Alabama oversigning posts from last year were very different: they were in-depth posts filled with solid facts and arguments with a few effective jabs mixed in. The problem I have now is that this particular post is the exact opposite: it's a thoroughly unveiled insult with nothing else to make it worthwhile. It's a YouTube comment posing as an MGoBlog post. That -- and the hundreds of posts that are nothing like this -- is why I don't think it fits here.
sgtwolverine.com
Eh, different strokes I guess. I found it humorous.
I also enjoyed a hearty chuckle after reading that line. Well played sir.
"I hope this hack tries to shoot back, only to get mowed down like McCauly Caulkin at the end of "My Girl."
Heh. I gave you a plus one just for that comment. I needed the chuckle.
Even if things are slow now, this is pretty low hanging fruit...
Cover your balls, cause we swing kung fu
We are giving this writer way too much credit as a provocateur. Take it from a guy in the mainstream media business; the writer was not trying to create controversy. I'm guessing a large number of his readers would love RR to get fired. He was not thinking about pissing off Michigan fans. I, for one, don't want to give him that credit.
Mounties....here is your long distance request!
Baby Come Back
Spending all my nights, all my money going out on the town
Doing anything just to get you off of my mind
But when the morning comes, I'm right back where I started again
Trying to forget you is just a waste of time
Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you
All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado
Trying to keep up the smile that hides a tear
But as the sun goes down, I get that empty feeling again
How I wish to God that you were here
Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you
Now that I put it all together
Give me the chance to make you see
Have you used up all the love in your heart
Nothing left for me, ain't there nothing left for me
Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, listen, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you
I was wrong, and I just can't live
Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
"You are what your record says you are" - Bill Parcells
I think we should donate more since Brain said he only makes $50 a year.
Do it
Commit
Now
You may want to try reading that again.
Or just give Brian more of your money anyway.
Yeah I see that now, I missed the keyword "your". My point is still valid and we should give Brian more money.
He did start it off with a disclaimer:
"Sometimes, we get a little carried away dreaming up the wildest, craziest sports scenarios imaginable."
Indeed.
Advice to Mr. Poe: Drink moonshine AFTER write article
That's right, Dude. 100% certain.
came from a newspaper that serves the states of West Virginia and Ohio. No bias or agenda there.
Thank you Brian for posting his email address for all to see. Lets all flood this "writers" email with "positive" feedback.
I have nothing clever or witty to say and no blog to link to ... sorry
Eh...the posts on Alabama's oversigning were worthwhile and well-thought (with plenty of zing). But this is just "ha ha ur stoopid" with more words, which makes it typical internet obnoxiousness + literacy. I'd rather not see MGoBlog sink to this level.
sgtwolverine.com
Brian is my hero.
Michigan's strategy for beating Ohio State? It's simple: We win and they lose.
... after re-reading Poe's piece, the most interesting thing about it is that Free press U-M beat reporter Mark Snyder is also the head coach at Marshall. I never knew!
that the title of the article was "Chew on this one for awhile." The title alone suggests that this guy has no idea what he is doing.
The title indicates to me he knew EXACTLY what he was doing. He was presenting opinion and hyperbole as informed prediction and fact to re-ignite the flames between UM and WVU - so he would get plenty of hits to the newspaper page. And it worked like a charm.
Many took a look. Brian responded. Many more took a look. Not much different from feeding the McFarlins on a message board. Now a big positive feedback loop is taking place, more and more people taking a look. Which means more and more revenue for the online newspaper. Yes real papers a dying, but internet ones, like this WVU, one are surviving - because of crap like this.
Simple policy - don't feed the trolls (message board type or newsworld type). It is only egoism that drives it - the need to one-up the idiot.
WHOA! You just e-told him didn't you? $50 bucks? You must be the slapping yourself on the back over that one. Can't get anything past you Bri.
I don't know why this was docked 10 points. Brian insinuated the guy makes $50 a year, when for all we know that jackass makes $75k a year writing shitty articles that people can't help but click and read and respond to. The idiots the person the responds to the troll, not the person that just made $$$ for pissing off Michigan fans. If people could leave idiot writers alone, they would disappear.
If he makes $75k then he is waaaaaaaaaay overpaid.
The answer to Walmart Wolverines: Save-A-Lot Spartans
Check it out, no question, Jim.
Brian, you've let the "twit" know that a heavey hitter read his crap.
TOM C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brian,
You just played his game by reading the article and responding. That's exactly what he wanted. And I'm sure he is laughing at your challenge. It's best to just ignore stuff like this in the future.
There's nothing wrong with speculating about how coaches will do at high-profile schools, especially after unpromising first years, but as is the case so often with professional "journalists" these days, Poe is completely disinterested in the opportunity to bring relevant historical facts into the discussion.
For example, Poe could have informed his readers that Woody Hayes was an uninspiring 4-3-2 in his first season at OSU. Duffy Daugherty was a craptastic 3-6 in his first campaign at MSU. Bear Bryant was 1-9 in his first season at Texas A&M, and a mediocre 5-4 in his first year at Alabama. Bill Snyder was 1-10 in his first season at Kansas State. Joe Paterno was 5-5 in his first Penn State season. Lou Holtsth was 5-6 in his first year at Notre Dame. Bill McCartney was 2-8-1 in his first Colorado season. All of these guys turned around their programs, some in their second years, while some took a bit more time to get the job done. Poe could then have evaluated the likliehood that Rodriguez would be fired in the context of this history.
However, aside from the onerous requirement that Poe would have actually had to do some "work" rather than pull e-pinions out of his ass, it would have made it much more difficult to write in single-sentence paragraphs. That would have been just too much to bear.
Ok, I'll be that guy:
Uninterested: not interested, lacking interest
Disinterested: unbiased, impartial
Apologies for the grammar pedantry. +1 for a good point.
You have made a brilliant, mature, intelligent response.
I believe you have made a "Michigan Difference."
He wrote at this guy's level. Anything more intelligent and it would've been too much.
Sooner or later, you're going to have to stick your arm up a cow's butt.
"when the twit in question fails to respond it's a tacit admission that the assessment in the subject is correct."
Hey, I agree with you, Brian, that this guy's argument is baloney, but not responding to your sincere (but, obviously mocking) proposition doesn't mean he's wrong (many other things do, but not this).
This guy, like many others, is a less-successful Drew Sharp. He is what he is. One of the "problems" with some of these guys is that they don't actually believe what they write, but write in order to find an audience. This kind of thinking won't last more than a decade more, it exists.
Believing the idiocy of one's own arguments probably is better, not worse.
I agree with you about Drew Sharp and others like him, but I think you're letting him off too easily by saying that he's trying "to find an audience". What he's really trying to do is just be controversial for the sake of being controversial. He wants to piss people off, to get attention. He's often outrageous just to get a reaction. He wants the story to be about him.
Poe is being "controversial for the sake of being controversial." When you don't know what else to write about, and have to write something, it's far easier to just write something controversial than research a subject and come up with an interesting angle or piece of analysis. I have no idea whether he wants to piss people off (not apparent in this case) or make the story about him, but it needn't go that far to be a rationale for the fall of that type of mentality.
Brian's not above getting down and dirty when it's called for.
One of the main reasons that you see crap like this from writers is that they have space to fill every day/couple of days/week, and they run out of interesting things to say. So, they say something outrageous to a) fill up the space, and b) get some attention.
Brian writes stuff everyday and it is not crap. At least not usually. None of us can be great all of the time. Unless you're Tim Tebow.
"Want to kill a hooker?" - Brian
Wait, Tebow has a first name? I thought he was just going by Tebow now, like Ronaldo or Madonna, or..............Jesus?
My hatred has a first name. It's T-E-B-O-W.
My hatred has a second name. It's J-E-S-U-S.
Oh I love to hate it every day,
and if you ask me then I'll saaay,
"Tebow Jesus has a way with suck M-Y D-I-C-K."
You are correct. Brian doesn't write crap. He's a good writer. The other guy, not so much.
Agreed. After re-reading my post it does sound like I think some of it is crap. That is not true. Just some of his posts are better than others, no crap.
"Want to kill a hooker?" - Brian
OR SUGARCOAT
MGoBlog "Circle Jerker"
I didn't even read the article origionally but uh, if RR gets fired and ends up at Marshall, I'll double your offer to Mr. Poe, Brian. Maybe he needs a new trailer. Besides, West Virgina would be stupid not to take back Rodriguez if he gets fired here in a couple of years. Bill Stewart just screams mediocre and Meinekie Car Care Bowl to me - even with Mr. White.
Your ship may be comin in
You're weak but not givin in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
And your ship may be comin in
You're weak but not givin in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fightin all of em
Wait, can some explain to me why newspapers are failing again?
Are you a park ranger at Yellowstone? Say hi to Yogi Bear for me.
Because you keep playboys hidden under your bed.
Sooner or later, you're going to have to stick your arm up a cow's butt.
I plus-oned you.
www.touchthebanner.blogspot.com
"No duh" is a product of fear.
sounds hot
The answer to Walmart Wolverines: Save-A-Lot Spartans
Check it out, no question, Jim.