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Put Your Money Where Your Dumb Is

By Brian — July 13th, 2009 at 11:23 AM — 62 comments
Filed under:
  • give money to meeee
  • lolmsm
  • west virginia is a post apocalyptic wasteland

My new preferred way of dealing with idiocy surpassing all bounds of reason—or "hobby" in XKCDese—is this:

From: Brian Cook mgoblog@gmail.com
To: dpoe@newsandsentinel.com
Subject: Attn: twit

I run mgoblog. I will bet you your entire year's salary that Rich Rodriguez does not get fired after this season. Since you believe it's "obvious" he will be fired, this is an opportunity for you to make a cool fifty bucks.

-Brian

It's satisfyingly goading, and when the twit in question fails to respond it's a tacit admission that the assessment in the subject is correct.

This, of course, was in response to idiocy surpassing all bounds of reason that you may have seen linked and mocked various places already. Money graf:

First, it's pretty obvious to me this is going to be Rich Rodriguez's last season as the head football coach at the University of Michigan.

The rest of it is a bunch of one-sentence paragraphs that end up with Rodriguez landing at Marshall. It's not coherent enough to bother fisking, but one of the sentences says the alumni "hasn't" warmed up to Rodriguez. (No, guy on the message board thread, that's not proper usage. Alumni is a plural noun—alumnus is the singular version—instead of a singular noun (like "flock") that describes a group.)

We'll see if he takes me up on the offer. I bet he doesn't.

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Posted on: July 15th, 2009 at 12:59 AM #1
jonathantu
Joined: 2009-07-15
Points: 10
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I'm not a Michigan fan

I read mgoblog regularly because I'm hoping any day now Brian's inherent fatalism will click in and he'll switch over to USC. I've been reading for four years, and each day he doesn't is another day of depression at the thought of college football's best writer writing about stuff I don't care about.

Except I kinda do care, now. I can name half of Michigan's roster. I don't want to care, either.

So, basically, this is how it is: this is below Brian. Of course it is. This post is still excellent because I love watching intelligent people eviscerate less intelligent people. Brian dropped two (2) xkcds on this poor guy. Overkill? I don't care.

Think about it this way: the higher road involves this post not existing, which means we all get one less Brian-item to read. I'd rather him channel his ire into one brief ball of flame than dissipate that passion in a show of maturity. Please put maturity in sarcasm quotes, because it is not mature to deprive the world of a classically executed take down.

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Posted on: July 15th, 2009 at 7:54 AM #2
mth822
Joined: 2008-07-03
Points: 49
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I agree here. Brian is one of

I agree here. Brian is one of the best, natural writers around. I feel it's the subject matter that brings out the beasties and troll like replies. Subject matter being sports. I think we've all left some replies out there that have sucked. But because of Brian we're all still here able to comment and ramble.

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 8:16 PM #3
mgovictors23
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Joined: 2009-05-03
Points: 1629
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Nice

Awesome comment back. RichRod haters are getting on my nerves too, especially these type of ones that present no info just saying Rich Rod is gone.

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 9:32 AM #4
mth822
Joined: 2008-07-03
Points: 49
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I like the way Ellen uses

I like the way Ellen uses alumnus in this commencement speech.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JccudODwwY

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 1:11 AM #5
big gay heart
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Haters be Damned

Brian, this rules. Cut the "I'd rather not see MGoBlog sink to this level" nonsense. We read MGoBlog because it's not a newspaper. It's a goddamned mercenary. It's an E-Blog and - no sugarcoat - E-Blogs are supposed to stir shit up.

Poe wrote an epic piece of sensationalist and ridic garbage. Brian getting into prose-based war with this clown town would be akin to an orangutan getting into an arm wrestling match with Stephen Hawking. That rules and if you think otherwise, then you're obviously a limp-wristed pony lover. That's not fact, that's also e-pinion.

Plus, all of this is funny. What else is there to talk about right now? It's not like anyone is super cereal, either. Brian made fun of a shitty writer and said he made $50 bucks a year. Big deal. That's funny. I hope this hack tries to shoot back, only to get mowed down like McCauly Caulkin at the end of "My Girl."

Think about the vikings. Were they nancy boys, parading around in pantyhose, getting sensitive with each other? Were they worried about getting in e-blog slap fights with bumblenuts like Poe? Hell no. They shot arrows and ate pussy.

www.pastoralgenocide.wordpress.com

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 10:36 AM #6
Sgt. Wolverine
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"We read MGoBlog because it's

"We read MGoBlog because it's not a newspaper. It's a goddamned mercenary. It's an E-Blog and - no sugarcoat - E-Blogs are supposed to stir shit up."

I read it not because of the medium it is or isn't, but because it provides consistently worthwhile in-depth coverage of Michigan sports, and because it exhibits a level of quality and professionalism not found on many other blogs. The sort of nonsense displayed in this post is something I can find anywhere on the internet, and it's pointless and tiresome.

sgtwolverine.com

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 2:47 PM #7
Ryan
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Points: 214
Online
How many slap fights has

How many slap fights has Brian gotten involved with over the years? Last year it was Alabama over-signing (though a different situation worthy of a detailed fisking.) This year its intentional controversy from WV. With the hundreds of posts Brian makes each year, surely you can tolerate one or two devoted telling people when they are wrong.

Besides, I think most people here find it satisfying to ridicule the worst offenders in terms even the internet morans (intentional internet meme) can understand.

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 3:38 PM #8
Sgt. Wolverine
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As I said earlier, the

As I said earlier, the Alabama oversigning posts from last year were very different: they were in-depth posts filled with solid facts and arguments with a few effective jabs mixed in. The problem I have now is that this particular post is the exact opposite: it's a thoroughly unveiled insult with nothing else to make it worthwhile. It's a YouTube comment posing as an MGoBlog post. That -- and the hundreds of posts that are nothing like this -- is why I don't think it fits here.

sgtwolverine.com

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 11:40 PM #9
Ryan
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Eh, different strokes I

Eh, different strokes I guess. I found it humorous.

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 8:58 AM #10
TTUwolverine
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Ditto

I also enjoyed a hearty chuckle after reading that line. Well played sir.

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 8:28 AM #11
jericho
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Joined: 2009-07-04
Points: 439
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nice!

"I hope this hack tries to shoot back, only to get mowed down like McCauly Caulkin at the end of "My Girl."

Heh. I gave you a plus one just for that comment. I needed the chuckle.

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 12:57 AM #12
mejunglechop
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Points: 4058
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Even if things are slow now,

Even if things are slow now, this is pretty low hanging fruit...

You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off?

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 12:32 AM #13
subet
Joined: 2009-07-14
Points: 3
Offline
This seems like too much...

We are giving this writer way too much credit as a provocateur. Take it from a guy in the mainstream media business; the writer was not trying to create controversy. I'm guessing a large number of his readers would love RR to get fired. He was not thinking about pissing off Michigan fans. I, for one, don't want to give him that credit.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 11:52 PM #14
tomhagan
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Joined: 2008-08-30
Points: 904
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A Kasey Kasem Long Distance Request from the WV Mounties to Rich

Mounties....here is your long distance request!

Baby Come Back
Spending all my nights, all my money going out on the town
Doing anything just to get you off of my mind
But when the morning comes, I'm right back where I started again
Trying to forget you is just a waste of time

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado
Trying to keep up the smile that hides a tear
But as the sun goes down, I get that empty feeling again
How I wish to God that you were here

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

Now that I put it all together
Give me the chance to make you see
Have you used up all the love in your heart
Nothing left for me, ain't there nothing left for me

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, listen, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you

I was wrong, and I just can't live

Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me

Strictly business...Not personal.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 10:46 PM #15
MaizeandBlue14
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Joined: 2008-11-09
Points: 1052
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I think we should donate more

I think we should donate more since Brain said he only makes $50 a year.
Do it
Commit
Now

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 11:45 PM #16
SJUblue
Joined: 2008-07-01
Points: 337
Offline
You may want to try reading

You may want to try reading that again.
Or just give Brian more of your money anyway.

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Posted on: July 14th, 2009 at 1:25 AM #17
MaizeandBlue14
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Points: 1052
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Ouch

Yeah I see that now, I missed the keyword "your". My point is still valid and we should give Brian more money.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 6:54 PM #18
Ernis
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Joined: 2008-09-23
Points: 3680
Online
To Poe's "credit"

He did start it off with a disclaimer:

"Sometimes, we get a little carried away dreaming up the wildest, craziest sports scenarios imaginable."

Indeed.

Advice to Mr. Poe: Drink moonshine AFTER write article

That's right, Dude. 100% certain.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 4:24 PM #19
goody
goody's picture
Joined: 2008-06-30
Points: 341
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Amazing that this article

came from a newspaper that serves the states of West Virginia and Ohio. No bias or agenda there.

Thank you Brian for posting his email address for all to see. Lets all flood this "writers" email with "positive" feedback.

Patience is the key to success

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 4:06 PM #20
Sgt. Wolverine
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Points: 3713
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Eh...the posts on Alabama's

Eh...the posts on Alabama's oversigning were worthwhile and well-thought (with plenty of zing). But this is just "ha ha ur stoopid" with more words, which makes it typical internet obnoxiousness + literacy. I'd rather not see MGoBlog sink to this level.

sgtwolverine.com

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 3:54 PM #21
Wide Open
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Points: 1919
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Yup it's official

Brian is my hero.

If there is no struggle, there is no progress.
- Frederick Douglass

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 3:42 PM #22
Jorel
Jorel's picture
Joined: 2008-06-30
Points: 291
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Actually...

... after re-reading Poe's piece, the most interesting thing about it is that Free press U-M beat reporter Mark Snyder is also the head coach at Marshall. I never knew!

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 3:12 PM #23
MGoLou
Joined: 2009-07-13
Points: 28
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No one has mentioned

that the title of the article was "Chew on this one for awhile." The title alone suggests that this guy has no idea what he is doing.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 5:37 PM #24
blueblueblue
Joined: 2008-12-28
Points: 2119
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The title indicates to me he

The title indicates to me he knew EXACTLY what he was doing. He was presenting opinion and hyperbole as informed prediction and fact to re-ignite the flames between UM and WVU - so he would get plenty of hits to the newspaper page. And it worked like a charm.

Many took a look. Brian responded. Many more took a look. Not much different from feeding the McFarlins on a message board. Now a big positive feedback loop is taking place, more and more people taking a look. Which means more and more revenue for the online newspaper. Yes real papers a dying, but internet ones, like this WVU, one are surviving - because of crap like this.

Simple policy - don't feed the trolls (message board type or newsworld type). It is only egoism that drives it - the need to one-up the idiot.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 3:08 PM #25
Ultimate Quizmaster
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Points: 1612
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WHOA! You just e-told him

WHOA! You just e-told him didn't you? $50 bucks? You must be the slapping yourself on the back over that one. Can't get anything past you Bri.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 7:55 PM #26
ShockFX
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Joined: 2008-07-16
Points: 6796
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I don't know why this was

I don't know why this was docked 10 points. Brian insinuated the guy makes $50 a year, when for all we know that jackass makes $75k a year writing shitty articles that people can't help but click and read and respond to. The idiots the person the responds to the troll, not the person that just made $$$ for pissing off Michigan fans. If people could leave idiot writers alone, they would disappear.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 8:44 PM #27
Chrisgocomment
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If he makes $75k then he is

If he makes $75k then he is waaaaaaaaaay overpaid.

No question, Jim.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 1:58 PM #28
tom c
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Bad call

Brian, you've let the "twit" know that a heavey hitter read his crap.

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Posted on: July 15th, 2009 at 10:10 AM #29
Ninja Football
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TOM C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOM C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE ARE GOING TO BE A MACHINE.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 7:36 PM #30
Crime Reporter
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My thoughts exactly

Brian,
You just played his game by reading the article and responding. That's exactly what he wanted. And I'm sure he is laughing at your challenge. It's best to just ignore stuff like this in the future.

And he piled upon the whale's white hump, the sum of all the rage and hate felt by his whole race. If his chest had been a cannon, he would have shot his heart upon it.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 1:47 PM #31
Don
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Points: 8096
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Mr. Poe is perfectly symptomatic of what ails "journalism"

There's nothing wrong with speculating about how coaches will do at high-profile schools, especially after unpromising first years, but as is the case so often with professional "journalists" these days, Poe is completely disinterested in the opportunity to bring relevant historical facts into the discussion.

For example, Poe could have informed his readers that Woody Hayes was an uninspiring 4-3-2 in his first season at OSU. Duffy Daugherty was a craptastic 3-6 in his first campaign at MSU. Bear Bryant was 1-9 in his first season at Texas A&M, and a mediocre 5-4 in his first year at Alabama. Bill Snyder was 1-10 in his first season at Kansas State. Joe Paterno was 5-5 in his first Penn State season. Lou Holtsth was 5-6 in his first year at Notre Dame. Bill McCartney was 2-8-1 in his first Colorado season. All of these guys turned around their programs, some in their second years, while some took a bit more time to get the job done. Poe could then have evaluated the likliehood that Rodriguez would be fired in the context of this history.

However, aside from the onerous requirement that Poe would have actually had to do some "work" rather than pull e-pinions out of his ass, it would have made it much more difficult to write in single-sentence paragraphs. That would have been just too much to bear.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 2:38 PM #32
WolverBean
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"Disinterested"

Ok, I'll be that guy:

Uninterested: not interested, lacking interest
Disinterested: unbiased, impartial

Apologies for the grammar pedantry. +1 for a good point.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 1:32 PM #33
zoltan the destroyer
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Excellent rebuttal.

You have made a brilliant, mature, intelligent response.

I believe you have made a "Michigan Difference."

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 2:45 PM #34
Blazefire
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He wrote at this guy's level.

He wrote at this guy's level. Anything more intelligent and it would've been too much.

Sooner or later, you're going to have to stick your arm up a cow's butt.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 1:13 PM #35
Jorel
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A bit too far

"when the twit in question fails to respond it's a tacit admission that the assessment in the subject is correct."

Hey, I agree with you, Brian, that this guy's argument is baloney, but not responding to your sincere (but, obviously mocking) proposition doesn't mean he's wrong (many other things do, but not this).

This guy, like many others, is a less-successful Drew Sharp. He is what he is. One of the "problems" with some of these guys is that they don't actually believe what they write, but write in order to find an audience. This kind of thinking won't last more than a decade more, it exists.

Believing the idiocy of one's own arguments probably is better, not worse.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 2:41 PM #36
dmontag
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Agreed, But...

I agree with you about Drew Sharp and others like him, but I think you're letting him off too easily by saying that he's trying "to find an audience". What he's really trying to do is just be controversial for the sake of being controversial. He wants to piss people off, to get attention. He's often outrageous just to get a reaction. He wants the story to be about him.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 3:37 PM #37
Jorel
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Agreed.

Poe is being "controversial for the sake of being controversial." When you don't know what else to write about, and have to write something, it's far easier to just write something controversial than research a subject and come up with an interesting angle or piece of analysis. I have no idea whether he wants to piss people off (not apparent in this case) or make the story about him, but it needn't go that far to be a rationale for the fall of that type of mentality.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 12:52 PM #38
aawolve
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I like how

Brian's not above getting down and dirty when it's called for.

"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."
- Jack Handey

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 12:25 PM #39
dmontag
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Why Writers Write Crap

One of the main reasons that you see crap like this from writers is that they have space to fill every day/couple of days/week, and they run out of interesting things to say. So, they say something outrageous to a) fill up the space, and b) get some attention.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 12:54 PM #40
Colt McBaby Jesus
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Brian writes stuff everyday

Brian writes stuff everyday and it is not crap. At least not usually. None of us can be great all of the time. Unless you're Tim Tebow.

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Posted on: July 15th, 2009 at 10:08 AM #41
Ninja Football
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Wait, Tebow has a first name?

Wait, Tebow has a first name? I thought he was just going by Tebow now, like Ronaldo or Madonna, or..............Jesus?

WE ARE GOING TO BE A MACHINE.

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Posted on: July 15th, 2009 at 5:29 PM #42
GreyJello
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Tebow Song

My hatred has a first name. It's T-E-B-O-W.
My hatred has a second name. It's J-E-S-U-S.
Oh I love to hate it every day,
and if you ask me then I'll saaay,
"Tebow Jesus has a way with suck M-Y D-I-C-K."

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 12:55 PM #43
dmontag
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Correct, But...

You are correct. Brian doesn't write crap. He's a good writer. The other guy, not so much.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 1:12 PM #44
Colt McBaby Jesus
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Agreed

Agreed. After re-reading my post it does sound like I think some of it is crap. That is not true. Just some of his posts are better than others, no crap.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 3:25 PM #45
wolverine1987
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You must mean "no CRAP"

OR SUGARCOAT

Self proclaimed MGoBlog "quiz-bowl stud"

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 12:24 PM #46
the_white_tiger
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I didn't even read the

I didn't even read the article origionally but uh, if RR gets fired and ends up at Marshall, I'll double your offer to Mr. Poe, Brian. Maybe he needs a new trailer. Besides, West Virgina would be stupid not to take back Rodriguez if he gets fired here in a couple of years. Bill Stewart just screams mediocre and Meinekie Car Care Bowl to me - even with Mr. White.

Kittens help make the pain go away.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 12:16 PM #47
david from wyoming
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Wait!

Wait, can some explain to me why newspapers are failing again?

Are you a park ranger at Yellowstone? Say hi to Yogi Bear for me.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 12:59 PM #48
Blazefire
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Because you keep playboys

Because you keep playboys hidden under your bed.

Sooner or later, you're going to have to stick your arm up a cow's butt.

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 1:46 PM #49
Magnus
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I plus-oned you.

I plus-oned you.

http://touchthebanner.blogspot.com/2010/03/what-will-michigans-defense-l...

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Posted on: July 13th, 2009 at 1:47 PM #50
Chrisgocomment
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sounds hot

sounds hot

No question, Jim.

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