PUNT

By Heiko Yang

For a home opener against an overmatched opponent, last week went pretty well. The first half provided some intrigue and drama before the second half turned into a gratuitous murder scene.

Michigan did to Oregon State what Michigan is supposed to do as a two-touchdown favorite, and the experience felt like the kind of repetitive bludgeoning that’s only supposed to happen when Lloyd Carr was head coach.

Everything was great, except when we screwed up the wave.

(If you’re asking “what wave?” you are most likely personally responsible for screwing it up.)

The first time I saw the wave in the Big House was in 2009 against Delaware State. The score was obscene, and David Cone was taking snaps at quarterback. Seeing 100,000 people sustain a roiling swell that sped up and slowed down before splitting itself in two was an incredibly beautiful experience. Even the Hornets pep band – and I’m pretty sure a few of their players as well – joined in.

Since then the opportunities to do the wave have been rare, and not all of them have been under ideal circumstances. We almost got burned badly during the UMass game in 2010 when we started the wave with a score of 28-17. We were barely paying attention when UMass shredded our defense for a touchdown, which resulted in a feeling of oh-my-god-what-have-we-done that gripped the stadium for the rest of the fourth quarter.

Many of us have grown cautious with the wave, especially in context of the dismal record the program has suffered. As fans, doing the wave was our way of pulling the starters: thanks for playing, we are no longer interested in this game, and many of us plan to file out soon to avoid traffic. We’ve since resorted to other ways of getting the message across.

I’m not sure if our failed attempt at the wave last week was because we’re out of practice or just leery of fourth-quarter meltdowns. It’s also possible that the long-time season ticket holders who knew to expect a wave coming out of the student section have been replaced by people who feel like their seats would be better if the students weren’t so loud. In one way or another I’m sure this is all Dave Brandon’s fault.

Either way, my heart broke watching that thing die repeatedly in section 24. It was embarrassing and a blemish – a reminder of how bad things have been for so long – on an otherwise perfect home opener and homecoming for Jim Harbaugh. I’d rather not see it happen again this week, so let’s just keep this one close and avoid the opportunity for failure altogether, shall we?

UNLV 10, Michigan 17.

COUNTERPUNT - UNLV

by Nick RoUMel

This is what I have to say about Punt’s column:

Piffle.

Having fulfilled my obligation to engage in spirited woofing with the young upstart on the top of this page, I now turn to the Runnin’ Rebs.

Contrary to certain belief, they do not have a football team. Las Vegas last experienced (back of the house) gridiron success when the New York Jets shocked the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III.

If you do not believe my assertion that they do not have a football team, check out the below photo from the UNLV Runnin’ Rebels football team landing page. I kid you not. What’s with the mimes in German war helmets? The can-can dancer with the feathered plumes? THE COPS? Why is the one cop carrying the football? “We’re going to take this in for evidence, son. Your coach knows why.”

This is not “The Team, the Team, the Team.” This is the cast of Naked Gun meets Amarcord. This is a squad that boasts alumni currently playing “pro football” for teams such as the BC Lions, the Spokane Shock, the Sacramento Mountain Lions, and the Wichita Wild. Retired players include former defensive end Suge Knight and TV commercial star Ickey “Shuffle” Woods. (Though we will give them their props for Randall Cunningham.)

Suge in urban chic. Randall the Runnin’ Reb.

This is a mismatch. This is the 70’s. Bo is in the house and is going to run up the middle until the Rebs cash in their chips. The fans will brave the rain and cheer enthusiastically. They will do the wave, and competently so, I might add.

Woof, Heiko.

MICHIGAN 38, UNLV 3