Punt-Counterpunt: Penn State 2014
remember when pepper spray felt bad?
PUNT
By Heiko Yang
It’s halftime.
Both teams are in their locker rooms discussing how they can win this game in the second half. James Franklin is apologizing for not having watched film this week even though he acted like he had. Brady Hoke is clapping his hands.
It’s halftime for Dave Brandon, too. There are empty seats in the stadium and he’s hurting. People can only believe that attendance is above 100,000 for so long before they notice that half the students are missing. He’s wondering whether he should force his entire staff to wear maize and sit in the empty seats in the student section. And they’re all scared, because young people are frightening and they sing “Temptation” all wrong. What is the meaning of “you suck” and to whom does it refer?
The people of Ann Arbor know a little something about sucking. We got used to losing to Ohio State during the late Lloyd Carr years, and then we got used to losing in general under Rich Rod. We thought we hired the right guy to pull the program out of mediocrity, but now we’re sucking again.
We’ve seen too many tough games, disappointing play calls, and times when we didn’t know WTF was going on. At times it seems like the coaches have lost their minds, like when they don’t know how to defend the spread, when they play Cam Gordon at free safety, or when there are only 10 men on the field to cover punts.
But after those trials, we all rallied around what went wrong, got on the internet, and complained all at once. Because that’s what we do. We find a way through tough times by posting on the message board. If we get negged, we neg back. If we get banned, we head over to Scout.
All that matters now is what’s ahead. How do we fix the offense? How do we fix the defense? How do we cover punts? How does Devin Gardner survive going back to East Lansing?
The basketball program is showing us it can be done. What’s true about them is true about the football program: the University of Michigan can’t be knocked out with one punch. It takes crippling NCAA sanctions, terrible recruiting, and a decade of mediocrity, but even then we get right back up again and when we do the world is going to hear the roar of Trey Burke after he hits a game-tying three against Kansas in the Sweet Sixteen.
Yeah, it’s halftime, Ann Arbor. Basketball season is about to begin.
(... In a month.)
Michigan 13, Penn state 14
COUNTERPUNT
By Nick RoUMel
For every sports fan, there comes an iconic moment when you realize: Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen.
For my dad, it was a baseball game, many years ago. The Pirates were hosting the Dodgers. A man who would later be inducted into the Hall of Fame, for his storied career, was due to bat. But the PA announcer intoned, “Now pinch-hitting for Duke Snider …. Gordon Windhorn!”
How could my father ever forget that name? How could I? Gordon Windhorn, who batted 108 times in the Bigs and managed to hit .176, was sent to bat for the Silver Fox, the Duke of Flatbush, the future Hall of Famer. Oh how the mighty had fallen, and my father never felt the same way about baseball again.
The Duke. Gordy.
My own Gordon Windhorn moment was about Michigan football. Lloyd Carr had retired, and Bill Martin was doing his level best to bungle the search for a successor. He offered the job to Greg Schiano, the coach of Rutgers.
Michigan was, and is, the winningest program in college football history. It should be a dream destination job for any coach. But Schiano - the coach of Rutgers fergodsakes! – turned us down.
Since then, the list of coaches who have rejected Michigan has grown like hair on Nick Jonas’ back. Depending on what source you want to believe, the following have all told our AD’s, “Sorry, I have to go to a quilting bee with my mother” (actual Counterpunt date turndown quote): Les Miles, Jim Harbaugh, John Harbaugh, Pat Fitzgerald, Gerry Faust … OK not Faust. He sold his soul to check out the quilting bee:
For Penn State fans, their Gordon Windhorn moment had to be the firing of Joe Paterno. His stunning fall, after half a century of gridiron success, is something many fans are still struggling to comprehend. The Jerry Sandusky scandal captured the nation’s headlines for many months, and as NCAA sanctions loomed, there were questions whether their football program would ever recover.
Although for very different reasons, and by no means morally equivalent, Michigan and Penn State are two programs that have endured crises. It was once taken for granted that certain football powers were forever secure, but schools as iconic as Notre Dame, USC, and Florida State, among others, have weathered storms.
Michigan too will be back. It is now a dark time, but just as the lights will illuminate the chilly October evening sky for our first ever Big Ten night game, they will once again shine over The Team.
It starts tonight, as two old fighters square off for a return to glory. I believe the one with 110,000 fans in his corner will survive a split decision. Gordon Windhorn, you can return to the dugout. We’re not done yet.
MICHIGAN 16, PENN STATE 13
October 11th, 2014 at 12:54 PM ^
I doubt the D contains Hackenburg and there will probably be at least 2 spectacular busts in the secondary
Michigan 38
Penn State 36
October 11th, 2014 at 2:05 PM ^
I think we'll get to Hackenberg. Between the sacks and stuffing their run game I think the defense will propel us to victory.
Michigan 24 Penn State 17
October 11th, 2014 at 1:00 PM ^
is not fun, but the steps must be taken. Penn State, USC, ND, etc. have gone through tremendous downturns, but seem to be coming back based on who they are; their programs are bigger than any one person, coach, or AD. We will continue to wander until we take the first meaningful step. And you all know what that is.....
October 11th, 2014 at 1:13 PM ^
Let me be very clear: Michigan Fucking Football is Awesome! We are down right now, and right now and we will still have 100,000 fucking people in that fucking stadium today.
I am tired of the protest and the protest to the protest. Mike valenti and other evil entities want to talk you out of going so you can 'voice your displeasure', however the reality is that he, and other ignorant sparties, want to see us keep sinking lower by ending the attendance streak. Well we will not sink lower: we support our team!
Note: most of the sparties I know are positively wonderful people who don't give a fuck about our team as much as they love their own team... seriously, the sparties I don't know could give two shits less about our team...
And you know what else? anyone else can eat my dick too with their lame ass protest by showing up late; if you are gonna go, then go. How can we complain about people in seats for five years now and then protest by showing up late?
I'm tired of all the petty bullshit. Lets get out there and win a fucking game.
War wolverines!
Go blue!
IT is great to be!
ps. fuck that picture of the dude getting pepper sprayed too... I am tired of it
pps... yes I have been drinking... and yes we are winning today.
October 11th, 2014 at 1:48 PM ^
"attendance streak".
October 11th, 2014 at 11:20 PM ^
I don't know much about spelling, but I know we won today!!!!
October 11th, 2014 at 1:23 PM ^
Loud noises!!
October 11th, 2014 at 1:43 PM ^
... opponent quarterback will look like Heisman trophy candidate, because that's what we do. Think we'll lose in a game whose score is closer than the actual product on the field.
October 11th, 2014 at 1:46 PM ^
I hope KLS has a great visit to AA and decides to commit to the University.
October 11th, 2014 at 1:58 PM ^
.. are predicting a close game today.. they are right and I should know better by now! but every game is a new game, as it gets closer to kickoff I can't resist widening the gap
so M42 PSU10.
October 11th, 2014 at 2:09 PM ^
I like it..."It starts tonight."
October 11th, 2014 at 4:22 PM ^
Ain't fallin' for that shit.
October 11th, 2014 at 4:55 PM ^
DB just rode by our tailgate, and had a photographer ready to take his picture getting off the golf cart and walking to the tunnel. Good grief.
October 11th, 2014 at 5:19 PM ^
He is probably taking the opportunity to have it taken now while he is still AD. I wonder if it is for his personal use or to put on his resume?
October 11th, 2014 at 5:00 PM ^
Excellent writing Heiko and Nick. A nice reminder that over the long haul these irrational football loyalties are a reflection of life rather than an escape from it -- unless there is heavy drinking involved.
PSU 17 UM 10
October 11th, 2014 at 5:06 PM ^
All the players just got off the bus wearing blue collared shirts with no Michigan insignia, with their names embroidered on the left chest. No shirts and ties. Strange.
October 11th, 2014 at 6:17 PM ^
So not only are we wearing alternate unis for the game, we're wearing alternate unis for the pre-game. Victory is ours then.
October 11th, 2014 at 5:22 PM ^
I feel like 110,000 is overly optimistic given the past few weeks. I know, the supposed marquee game, but I don't see the stadium as full tonight.
October 11th, 2014 at 5:41 PM ^
In unrelated news that makes me cringe regarding Penn St....Who tells a group of kids that he's in charge of that he saw the video of a felony being committed by some other kids he's in charge of but really didn't? This stuff doesn't come up in an interview when trying to pick a guy to be your HC at PSU?
October 11th, 2014 at 6:14 PM ^
and that we'll put lots of pressure on their QB for sure.
Seems like I've heard the same thing about 8 times during Hoke's tenure, and seems like 8 times our DL doesn't do squat and the opposing QB goes all Peyton Manning on us.
PSU 29 UM 16
Hackenberg throws for over 300 and a couple of TDs, doesn't throw a single pick, and is rarely hurried, let alone sacked.
October 11th, 2014 at 6:34 PM ^
we will win tonight.
No doubt.
jdon
October 11th, 2014 at 11:28 PM ^
Go Blue!
October 11th, 2014 at 11:40 PM ^
I'll never make that mistake again.
October 12th, 2014 at 12:21 AM ^
Wow, nice call by Counterpunt.
October 12th, 2014 at 1:40 AM ^
And if not for an unusually correct call by a Big Tennnnnnnn coach - PERFECT.
Give that man a t-shirt!!!!
October 12th, 2014 at 11:50 AM ^
you were off by two.
[Well done.]
October 12th, 2014 at 3:17 PM ^
Beautifully written by Nick and he nearly nailed the score, to boot.
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