- Radical Inclusion
- Radical Self-reliance
- Radical Self-expression
- Communal Effort
- Civic Responsibility
- Leaving No Trace
- Beat Ohio
A week or so ago, Ohio State sent a recruiting letter to "Peroia, IL" that eventually reached the home of Michigan OT commit Logan Tuley-Tillman after the post office got done laughing at it. Tillman, perhaps following the example of Devin Gardner, burned the thing and put a picture of it on the internet.
Now that twitter has migrated off of college campus and Pitchfork enthusiasts, this ended badly. LTT fielded a number of misspelled death threats, Kyle Bosch sort of responded in kind, and the son of a federal judge put out a bounty on Tillman's knees that he eventually turned into a donation to the university of Michigan after he realized he was the dumbest guy in this entire scenario, and that this took some doing.
In an effort to prevent something like this from happening again, we've scoured Tuley-Tillman's social media accounts for other incidents in which he's burned something and posted a picture of the internet. By exposing these now, we hope to get any and all kerfuffles related to them out of the way before the young man arrives on campus.
These photos are absolutely not doctored, but if it turns out they were it was Heiko who created the images.
LTT on decision: "I felt that a six-foot wheeling gunslinger was what the CFL had been lacking after Doug Flutie's retirement."
OSU fans' response:
AL: "Them's so squiggly it makes my brains hurt."
RON: "You aten't got but one brain, Al."
OSU: "You have just received a bachelor's degree in logic."
Negative outcome: Lack of Devin Gardner redshirt.
LTT on decision: "It's a complicated story involving subspace dimensions, but the short version is it threatened to suck the entire universe into an alternate physics where anything that leaves the ground explodes in a shower of viscera. This was revealed by Tate's answer to question 5.5, which I unfortunately had to burn to save the CFL."
OSU fans' reactions: Weeping joy.
Negative outcome: Happy OSU fans.
LTT on the decision: "The Big Ten needed a twelfth team."
OSU fans' response: Appointed Jerry Kill to coach it.
Negative outcome: Existence of Minnesota football.
LTT on the decision: "All part of a diabolical plot to make MSU students look not very smart."
OSU fans' response: "We are aware MSU students are not very smart."
Negative outcome: Waste of time that could have been spent reading Chaucer.
LTT on the decision: "You have no idea how much I hate elves."
OSU fans' response: They cower under the great no-seeing Eye when a white-clad Hoke arrives from the East on the fifth day. [Memo to self: get Heiko to photoshop a see-no-Evil Tressel Sauron.]
Negative outcome: Huge rock lands on Antonio Bass.
LTT on the decision: "I'd imagine this one is self-explanatory."
OSU fans' response: Slow-motion NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, declaration that "Rocket Man" is the best song ever.
Negative outcome: 404 file not found
LTT on the decision: "A man has to practice. Surely there will be no consequences arising from this."
OSU fans' response: "Can you give us an illustrated version of this thing?"
Negative outcome: Have you ever read the book of Joshua? Things got dark.
LTT on the decision: "PEROIA FOREVER WOOOOO SUCKIT CHICAGO."
OSU fans' reaction: "He never had the stones to play for Meyer. I don't see him burning down New York. Burning the city of Chicago to a cinder is the coward's way out."
Negative outcome: Millions of dollars in property damage, deaths, you know, that kind of stuff.
...but very appropriate.