Ok, let's get real, I'm probably going down not up when my time comes, but um, yeah- I just almost died.
I was cooking a steak for lunch, took it off the grill and inside, stopped in the kitchen to grab something to drink and it looked so tasty I decided to cut off a piece and take a bite. That's when the fun started. Said piece of tasty cow got pretty firmly lodged into the back of my throat. My roommates are out of town for a wedding, and I'm pretty sure Nuverre's cat and my plant don't know the the Heimlich, so for a few seconds (20? 30?) I was standing over the sink trying to dislodge this thing and give myself the fucking Heimlich.
So it's not working, and I'm trying to stay calm when I finally decide I'm gonna die right there if I don't get help so I sprint outside to the neighbors. I'm halfway across their lawn when I realize they aren't home (no cars in the driveway) turn to look and there's ONE house with a car in the drieveway out of like the 5 nearest to me. At this point shit is starting to get REAL bad, like I might not make it across the street bad, and I just stopped and tried to throw up and did the self heimlich again and it finally dislodged.
If any of my neighbors are home and saw me run out of the house they probably think I'm nuts, but screw them- at least I'm alive. And 20 minutes later I'm shaking so bad I can almost hardly type. All I have to say is, that better be a damn good steak. And holy crap does my knee hurt now.