Collection of the best yo Moma jokes...btw Im not Wilmer Valderrama FYI
spoiler alert: i linked this
Yo mama started a 2009 prediction thread on mgoblog.
Yo momma like turtles
she went to the bathroom and scared the s%*t out of the toilet.
what's a 'moma' and also 'mamma'????
when she walks into a bank, they turn the cameras off!
is a hooker... wait that's just fact. My bad...
Houses rare Jackson Pollocks and shit.
Jackson Pollocks rulez!
Yo momma so fat, her nickname is 'damn'!
She sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose!
She puts on her lipstick with a paint roller!
Your mother is so fat, Zoltan Mesko can't kick her past the line of scrimmage.
Zoltan Mesko can kick EVERYTHING past the line of scrimmage
How dare you insult the Space Emperor.
Where did you find this picture of my mom?
Your mamma is so old, when God said "Let their be light", she struck a match.
is like the Magic Bullet (http://www.buythebullet.com), she's easy to turn on, finishes quickly, and is only $19.95.
Yo mamma is so fat, last time she stepped on the scale she saw 90210. OOOO!
Hey, let's leave the mothers out of this. Dorothy Mantooth is a saint...
Classic line... but I'm going to take Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and then never call her again!!!!!
Where'd you get those clothes, at the toilet store?
Yo moma so fat that when she stepped on the scale she thought it was her own phone #.
is so fat she uses the Richter scale
Yo mama so fat, she wore a Malcolm X hat and a helicopter landed on her!! Heyo!
When did these turn into Charlie Weis jokes?
Are you trying to say that Charlie Weis is your mom? I'm sorry, but that's just burning yourself my friend.
is so ugly, Picasso took her picture and called it Cubism
even a 3-year-old can turn her on.
that leads to rape. Rape is not cool in my book.
is so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says 'DING'.
If ugliness were bricks, yo mama would be a housing project.
So dumb, she thought Taco Bell was the Mexican phone company
Yo mama so fat, by the time she gets on a pair of BVDs it spells Boulevard.
She thought an elevator was a mobile home
She thought Quarterback was a 25 cent refund.
I told her it was chilly outside and she ran out the door with a bowl and a spoon.
Your momma is so dumb, she went to OSU.
she didn't get in to OSU.
She had to put a pack of Now and Latters on layaway.
She looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock!
Yo mamma is like a brick. She's flat, dirty, and gets layed by Mexicans
she jumped in the air and got stuck!!
she keeps a tapemeasure next to the bed to see how long she sleeps!!
is a fine role model, an upstanding citizen, a timeless beauty possessed of a first rate mind. She is the rose in spring, the belle of every ball, a font of wisdom in the guise of an angel. She is Helen, Cleopatra, and Jeanne d'Arc but with nicer shoes. She's also from Columbus.
Yo mama so ugly when she walks in the kitchen the mice jump on the chairs.
Yo mama so ugly at Christmas time they kiss the mistletoe under her.
Yo mama so ugly I took her to the zoo and they thanked me for returning her.
*All originally Rodney 'my wife' jokes
I'm surprised Rodney lived as long as he did.
every time she finishes blowing me I nut for 3 points. It's up, looks like it's got the distance, and...it's good!
Sometimes I miss. 'Wide right, wide right...all over yo mama's face!' Ooooooohhhhhh. Snap.
That's not a joke, that's just you saying a bunch of disgusting stuff.
Secretary Of Defense: Those aren't ideas, those are special effects.
Michael Bay: I don't understand the difference.
Secretary Of Defense: I know you don't. (to guards) Get him out of here!
That was funny, therefore a joke, and a +, just to show my appreciation.
it's a vulgar joke, and given your reaction it may have been inappropriate. i didn't mean to offend...but now it's locked in, probably offending everybody like a fart in church.
i should've went with 'yo mama's teeth are so gapped, i don't know whether to laugh or kick a field goal. wide right, wide right!' The LACES were IN!
Yo momma is so hairy, the only language she speaks, is WOOKIE!
Edit: This was my 1337 point. LEET Bitches, LEET!
(this isn't all the lyrics, and i wish I knew how to just stick the song in this window...)
Ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
Ya mama is so big and fat that she can get busy
with twenty-two burritos, but times are rough
I seen her in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs
The sad fact (what?) ya mama smokes crack (what?)
She got a burning yearning and there's no turning back
Her knuckles drag down to the ground when she walk
Spit comes out that bitch mouth when she talk
Naked on a mountain top, tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse drinking whisky out a bizoot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that:
Ya mama got a glass eye with the fish in it (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama
Ya mama look like she's been in the dryer with some rocks
With the big bust nose sucking dirt out of socks
Held up the ice cream truck with a slingshot
She grabbed a bag of Cheese Corn and a soda pop
Ya mama root'n'toot and stole my loot and my suit
She may have the muscles, but no, she's not cute
She's not pretty, oh what a pity, got the glass titty
Filled up with Kool-aid, just for the kiddies
Awwwwwwww, ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
We rode up on her back to get some burgers from Wendy's
and her skates went flat; I got stuck in her butt crack
They thought I was lost but I was caught by the G-strap
Heaven forbid a giant fart would give way
Cause that would blow me round the world in a day
We drove into the drive-in and she didn't have to pay
because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet
Ya mama got snake skin teeth
Ya mama wears coat hangers for earrings
Ya mama's glasses are so thick she look into a map
and see people wavin at her