About Last Saturday:

Jug Half Full - 35, Jug Half Empty - 13

Tom Olmscheid / AP

Get well soon.

May I suggest a bacta tank?

/ runs away giggling.

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The Road Ahead:

"This big?" / "No, THIS BIG."

No. 24 Northwestern (7-2 overall, 3-2 B1G)

Last week: Idlecats.

Recap: 

Mmm bokeh.

This team is as frightening as: A guy who shows up to a fight armed with only a Maglite. Except it's not a Maglite. It's a lightsaber. And he is Luke Skywalker. Fear level = 10. 

Michigan should worry about: Northwestern possesses the best wide receiver in the world. His name is Kyle Prater, and you don't know this because they have been keeping him a secret. They have been saving the surprise. Michigan has no idea what's coming. 

But I do.

Michigan can sleep soundly about: There is no shame in getting beaten by a player who is so elite that his presence at USC violated the laws of competitive fairness, which forced him to transfer to a small liberal arts school in Evanston and wear purple for the rest of his life.

When they play Michigan: Prater will have 12 catches for 170 yards and four touchdowns. 

Next game: @ Michigan.

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Iowa (4-5 overall, 2-3 B1G)

Last game: Iowa 21, Indiana 24 (L)

Recap: Some days you beat Michigan State in overtime. Some days you lose to Indiana because you let Cameron Coffman complete 21 of 33 passes for 315 yards and 3 TDs after you jump out to 14-3, your second early lead all season. 

And then some days you get to play Purdue, and for Iowa, that will be a nice thing to do on Saturday.

AIRBHG update: Damon Bullock was nearly smitten when the left the game grabbing his knee, but then he came back. AIRBHG considers this a warning.

This team is as frightening as: The Sick Man of the B1G, which is the Sick Man of BCS conferences. Fear level = 3.5.

Michigan should worry about: What if Denard doesn't get to play on Senior Day? This is a seriously depressing possibility, especially if he doesn't play against Northwestern. I'm going to go cry now.

Michigan can sleep soundly about: Either way, Senior Day is going to be epic. 

When they play Michigan: SHOW UP ON TIME.

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Ohio State (10-0 overall, 6-0 B1G)

Last game: Illinois 22, Ohio State 52 (W)

Recap: Illinois played a surprisingly competitive game once you discount the entire second quarter.

Next game: Bye

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Objects in Mirror:

No. 1 Alabama (9-0 overall, 6-0 SEC)

Last game: Alabama 21, No. 5 LSU 17 (W)

Recap: It bleeds and cries. Just like the rest of us.

Next game: vs. No 15 Texas A&M

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Air Force (5-4 overall, 4-1 MWC)

Last game: Air Force 21, Army 41 (L)

Recap: Five turnovers will usually end in bad things happening.

Next game: @ San Diego State

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UMass (0-9, 0-5 MAC)

Last game: UMass 0, Northern Illinois 63 (L)

Mike Cox: 25 carries, 81 yards

Next game: @ Akron

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No. 4 Notre Dame (9-0 overall)

Last game: Pittsburgh 26, Notre Dame 29 3OT (W)

Recap: Rainbows above Notre Dame Stadium.

Next game: @ Boston College

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Purdue (3-6 overall, 0-5 B1G)

Last game: Penn State 34, Purdue 9 (L)

Recap: The person who set the line (Purdue +3) was fired in the second quarter.

Next game: @ Iowa

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Illinois (2-7 overall, 0-5 B1G)

Last game: Illinois 22, Ohio State 52 (L)

Recap: Registered a safety and two touchdowns. That's progress.

Next game: vs. Minnesota

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Michigan State (5-5, 2-4 B1G)

Last game: No. 20 Nebraska 28, Michigan State 24 (L)

Recap: I don't want to talk about it.

Next game: Bye

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No. 20 Nebraska (7-2 overall, 4-1 B1G)

Last game: No. 20 Nebraska 28, Michigan State 24 (W)

Recap: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

Next game: vs. Penn State