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Obligatory Uniformz Post

By Brian — December 18th, 2012 at 4:47 PM — 193 comments
Filed under:
  • 2013 outback bowl
  • dave brandon creates the future
  • uniformz

Hey. Life rolls on. Thank you to those who have expressed condolences.

One of the running jokes on the podcast this year has been theorizing that the athletic department has someone specifically dedicated to trolling me. Evidence: "In The Big House" did not return until after the nonconference season had convinced me it was gone, and Michigan waited until the last possible moment to change Jordan Kovacs away from #32. Taken with the deployment of Denard and Devin against Ohio State, this is strong evidence indeed.

If they are deep enough inside that they knew what I was writing up this morning and chose that hour to release the latest in the ever-growing line of uniformz, I am terrified because the sleeper agent is probably me.

Anyway. We knew this was coming because Michigan's promise after they announced the Alabama uniformz was that they would not screw with the jerseys during the regular season. They are here. If you have not been on the internet, here they are:

A-aWn2tCIAA2Ewh[1]

A-aWxF5CcAEipEQ[1]

They finally screwed with the helmet. Also Ramzy pointed out that there seem to be four different shades of yellow on this thing.

Yes, yes, the kids love it, which is why Alabama and USC are struggling to recruit these days. It is possible the kids are not quite so stupid as that meme thinks they are and make decisions based on things other than wearing goofy alternates a couple of times a year. Your assertion as to what the kids love does not seem to have much bearing on where they go to school. Alabama did not need fancy duds to annihilate Michigan earlier this year.

MICHIGAN ALABAMA

What gets me is that many iconic uniforms are not being futzed with, including the aforementioned teams plus Texas, Florida State, Penn State, and Oklahoma*, but the people running those athletic departments must be wrong and the man who brought us pasta inside a bread bowl must be right. I do not agree that this is necessarily the case, Kids Love It Arguer Guy.

I mean, the brand-manic NFL has strict restrictions on third jerseys, with many of the teams deploying them once or twice… ever. NFL teams are prohibited from wearing alternates in the Super Bowl, and only the Chargers have ever deployed them in a playoff game, probably because the Chargers' alternates are themselves a great tradition revived from the 1960s.

It's no real loss if Michigan looks dumb playing in Tampa, but I'll be sad if Michigan plays a Rose Bowl in anything other than classic Schembechler blue. And if you wouldn't want to wear it at the Rose Bowl, why would you want to wear it anywhere?

I promise to write another version of this post in August when alternate uniforms for the ND game are announced, because it is tradition, and tradition is important. #thisguygetsit

*[All of those teams have largely if not entirely opted out. Oklahoma wore some all-whites that were roundly panned in 2009 and scrapped the concept, and Texas altered their helmets to honor Darrel K Royal this year but that's a whole different thing everyone should be okay with. IIRC Alabama did have some sort of subtle houndstooth thing in one game. In each case any uniform alterations were one-offs or close to it, not Michigan's parade.]

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:37 PM
(Reply to #67) #102
Anonymosity
Anonymosity's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 2480
The winged helmet is iconic,

The winged helmet is iconic, and I am pretty sure that will never go away.

I wouldn't count on that. All other uniform-related evidence indicates that we WILL see an "alternate" helmet at some point before DB retires, beyond just adding numbers or messing with the finish. My money is on one of these final two Notre Dame games or Michigan's next Rose Bowl appearance.

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December 18th, 2012 at 8:53 PM
(Reply to #91) #103
Autocracy Now
Autocracy Now's picture
Joined: 09/13/2011
MGoPoints: 12581
And I hear the Yankees are

And I hear the Yankees are losing the pinstripes next year...

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December 18th, 2012 at 5:55 PM
#104
WolvinLA2
WolvinLA2's picture
Joined: 11/13/2009
MGoPoints: 52761
The worst part is that at

The worst part is that at some point MDen will send an email to my wife telling her that all M fans need this jersey, and, believing the email, she'll buy it for me.  I'll put it right next to the Sugar Bowl jersey I don't wear for the same reason. 

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:04 PM
#105
graybeaver
Joined: 03/30/2012
MGoPoints: -700
The original helmet was all

The original helmet was all black. Quit your bitching, or I'll make a phone call and have them go back to the real original uniforms.

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:11 PM
#106
A2Fan
A2Fan's picture
Joined: 02/05/2009
MGoPoints: 1264
How long will it be . . .

Until our Traditonal raiment is only donned as a Throwback ?

Thank You P. T. (Barnum) Brandon

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:19 PM
#107
Half Blood Dutc...
Half Blood Dutch Prince's picture
Joined: 12/03/2011
MGoPoints: 1743
"Something something something...

GET OFF MY LAWN!"

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:27 PM
#108
randyfloyd
randyfloyd's picture
Joined: 08/19/2008
MGoPoints: 3562
Uniformz designers are on METH

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:28 PM
#109
jlbockUM
Joined: 11/08/2008
MGoPoints: 27
Where it hurts the most

Obviously this is another uniform disaster.  However, money walks for Dave Brandon and the Athletic Department.  My suggestion is to message the following email address:

[email protected]

That is the University of Michigan Donations email.  Let them know that you were thinking of donating but these new uniforms have caused you to become violently ill and now you've got to but a new laptop/phone/tablet.  That will show em!  Okay probably not...

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:35 PM
#110
BlueInWisconsin
Joined: 03/27/2009
MGoPoints: 3943
When you have one of the most

When you have one of the most iconic uniforms in all of sports why would you ever in a million years want to dress up like some mid-major team that added varsity football in the 1980's? This does nothing but dilute the Michigan brand.

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:35 PM
#111
msom4202
msom4202's picture
Joined: 10/15/2012
MGoPoints: 39
See, this is what pisses me off.

No no that we have new jerseys, but the pure ignorance of this post. First off, the jerseys themselves were designed with the help of the seniors. Your not the ones playing in the jerseys, THEY ARE. They approved the design. All you have to do is read the article and it will tell you. Second, there is nothing wrong with these jerseys at all and in my opinion, anything is better than our primary dull, and boring jerseys. Almost every other team on the rise is trying new twist to their uniforms. And actually Florida State has made a lot of changes to their jerseys and accessories. Any team with decent jerseys is signed to Nike. Just look when they played Virginia Tech last month. We have the oldest jerseys in college along with Notre Dame and Penn State and it's time for a change. To hell with your beloved "tradition" with the jerseys that trash is overrated. Oregon has the tradition of LOOKING AWESOME every game and obviously recruits like it enough to de-commit from Michigan every year. Even Leon McQuay released a statement a few months ago telling how he loves their jersey combinations and obviously it's bringing in recruits, why would everyone say it is if it wasn't? That just doesn't make sense. You guys may be in denial about it but whether you guys like it or not, PLAYERS LIKE LOOKING GOOD!!! Honestly these jerseys, the cowboys classics, and the all white legacy jerseys are the best jerseys we've ever had. It has nothing to do with kids, that joke has no validity. Only these damn discussion boards pick out the dumbest sh*t to complain about. Maybe if we go back to Nike this will all be solved. I'm sure they'll find a more creative way to design a primary jersey than old ass Adidas jerseys. We look so out of date, bulky, and unathletic. I hate to say it but Ohios new pro combat jerseys are nice, but If we have it your guys way, well only have two jerseys in our closet for every game. We need to move with the times.

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December 18th, 2012 at 7:33 PM
(Reply to #88) #112
WolvinLA2
WolvinLA2's picture
Joined: 11/13/2009
MGoPoints: 52761
You're obviously young (you

You're obviously young (you haven't yet learned how to use paragraphs), but you're also pretty wrong.  If Oregon's uniformz really brought in so many recruits, why are they currently #46 in the country according to Rivals, despite having plenty of recent success, and being one of the top teams in the country all year?  Their top recruit, by the way, lives right down the street. 

Whether people want to admit it or not, these recruits like tradition.  It's why the top recruiting schools are the programs who have always been good.  It's why ND recruited so well even when they sucked.  Who are the top programs in terms of recruiting over the last decade?  Easily Alabama and USC, and they have traditional uniforms that never get fucked with. 

We used to be like that, but now we're falling into that same hole. 

PS - the fact that you said, "anything is better than our primary dull, and boring jerseys." drives me nuts.

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December 19th, 2012 at 2:15 AM
(Reply to #115) #113
The Barwis Effect
The Barwis Effect's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 8735
Alabama and USC's recruiting success...

...have very little to do with their "traditional" uniforms and almost everything to do with the fact they're not playing on a level field with the rest of us. Alabama over signs with the best of them, while we're all familiar with the shenanigans at USC under Carroll.

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December 19th, 2012 at 3:32 AM
(Reply to #163) #114
Don
Don's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 70354
have very little to do with their "traditional" uniforms

You're entirely misinterpreting Brian's point, which is that Alabama understands that it doesn't need to appeal to the juvenile marketing-based need to promote a new jersey three times a year in order to attract top-level recruits, which is the justification so many proffer for our clownification of what was once a sublimely simple and powerful uniform that we had.

As for their success in recruiting being entirely due to oversigning, you're kidding yourself. If you oversign a mediocre class, you've just got a lot of mediocre players. Alabama is able to sign a strong class because they've got the most successful coach in the last three decades, and one of the most historic names in the college football.

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December 19th, 2012 at 7:57 AM
(Reply to #168) #115
The Barwis Effect
The Barwis Effect's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 8735
First off, I wasn't responding to Brian

Second, where in my post did I say Alabama's success was entirely due to over signing? Yes, Saban's a great coach -- that goes without saying -- but the only one kidding them self is you if you don't believe that they (along with USC, which you conveniently left out of your response) have some built in recruiting advantages.

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December 19th, 2012 at 9:59 AM
(Reply to #170) #116
Don
Don's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 70354
Where did I say Bama's success was entirely due to over signing?

You said Alabama's recruiting success had "almost everything to do with the fact they're not playing on a level field with the rest of us." If you're not referring to oversigning, what are you referring to? Only a dope would deny that SEC teams like Alabama attain an advantage via oversigning, but would oversigning enable Iowa State or Syracuse to suddenly surpass Michigan or Ohio State in the strength of their recruiting classes?

As far as USC goes, they also obtain advantages via oversigning and whatever other barely-legal and totally unethical practices they engage in, but that's not the sole source of their recruiting prowess. That's mainly due to their location (in Southern CA) and their football tradition. Colorado could oversign for a decade and still not come close to what USC is able to do in recruiting. Plenty of teams cheat every year—Colorado certainly was a dumpster fire of ethics under Neuheisel and Barnett, and they still went down the crapper.

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December 19th, 2012 at 12:07 PM
(Reply to #173) #117
M-Wolverine
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Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 42199
"If you're not referring to oversigning,

what are you referring to?"

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December 19th, 2012 at 1:09 PM
(Reply to #173) #118
The Barwis Effect
The Barwis Effect's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 8735
So in other words...

...you basically agree that we're not on a level playing field with Alabama and USC. I'm not sure what you are arguing here.

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December 18th, 2012 at 8:31 PM
(Reply to #88) #119
B-Nut-GoBlue
Joined: 09/30/2011
MGoPoints: 17139
I understand opinions are

I understand opinions are meant to not be right and not be wrong.  This, block you just wrote, happens to accomplish the former, not be right, yet be wrong.  Terribly wrong.  Srsly, what things/people/concepts do you value?  It's assured by your post that the things and concepts you value are not a match to the majority of this board make-up.

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December 18th, 2012 at 11:01 PM
(Reply to #88) #120
M-Wolverine
M-Wolverine's picture
Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 42199
Ok, you've stopped me from thinking you're the dumbest person

On the boards to just flat out trolling every time you post.

Because no one is that stupid.

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:38 PM
#121
Tater
Tater's picture
Joined: 08/13/2008
MGoPoints: 30564
I don't like uniformz

It's sad that AD's who pound the bully pulpit about "tradition" are often the first to trample on it when they think they can make an extra buck.

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:45 PM
#122
The FannMan
The FannMan's picture
Joined: 11/25/2008
MGoPoints: 9587
Glad the ULT thing was "just for one game"

I hate these things.  I hate the Outback corporate patch.  I hate the "Let's sell moar jerszies to our fanz and make moar money" motivation.  I hate the fact that our uniforms are great and do not need to be played with, but the AD thinks of nothing else. I hate that they are butt ugly.

But, I have to admit that I am getting tired of fighting it.  I am basicaly in the same place as with Big Ten expansion.  I have accepted that something I loved for my whole life is now gone - screwed with for the sake of money and short term thinking.  So if we can have a 14 or 16 or 20 team Big Ten where Wisconsin is a distant rumor and faded memory, then  whatever man.  Why should these guys be any different when it comes to uniforms? 

If they are going to do this, I do wish that they would hire someone with taste to design it.  I mean, how much time went into this - 20, 30 minutes?

 

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:55 PM
(Reply to #95) #123
Bando Calrissian
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Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 60181
Dave Brandon wants you to

Dave Brandon wants you to break down and quit fighting.  He wants you to embrace, as he so aptly puts it, "change for the sake of change."  

Dave Brandon needs change because he thrives on the incessant need to market something new.  He can't sit still without finding another avenue to exploit.  These jerseys are just another thing he can market, and as long as he needs to make more money, there will be more jerseys and more "WOW moments" he can package and take to the bank.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the need to make money for Athletics.  But at some point you have to ask at what point does making more money cross the rubicon of taste?  At what point does Michigan stop being Michigan, and start looking more and more like every Tom, Dick, and Harry State University with mix 'n match uniform parts and a stadium that feels like a rock concert that happens to have a football game?  

We're getting closer and closer, and I for one detest it.  And I don't even have a lawn for you to get off of.

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:47 PM
#124
Half Blood Dutc...
Half Blood Dutch Prince's picture
Joined: 12/03/2011
MGoPoints: 1743
Tradition

http://www.heritagesportsart.com/products/ncaa/michigan-wolverines#

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:48 PM
#125
GratefulBlue
GratefulBlue's picture
Joined: 08/20/2008
MGoPoints: 503
Somebody start a change.org petition

I'll sign.

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:49 PM
#126
jdon
jdon's picture
Joined: 09/28/2009
MGoPoints: 5410
you guys are pathetic...

you sound like a bunch of crybabies.

 

I actually dig the bowl game unis.  awesome!

 

 

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:49 PM
#127
Doc Brown
Joined: 11/20/2011
MGoPoints: -2009987597
I love these uniforms. All of

I love these uniforms. All of you haters can suck it. 

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December 18th, 2012 at 8:22 PM
(Reply to #100) #128
B-Nut-GoBlue
Joined: 09/30/2011
MGoPoints: 17139
You seem about as well liked

You seem about as well liked around here as these jerseys.  I'll go back to sucking "it" now.

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December 18th, 2012 at 6:52 PM
#129
MGlobules
Joined: 11/17/2008
MGoPoints: 16433
Pathetic. And anyone who really likes these is aesthetically

challenged, too. Shortbus challenged. You cannot lose with dignity in those uniformz, and I'm not sure you can win with dignity in them, either. 

If Dave Brandon was the ultimate arbiter. . . 

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December 18th, 2012 at 7:20 PM
(Reply to #101) #130
jdon
jdon's picture
Joined: 09/28/2009
MGoPoints: 5410
lol

that's what I am talking about!

 

these jerseys are amazingly pathetic, to the point where if you don't like them you are pathetic,

jdon

 

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December 18th, 2012 at 7:00 PM
#131
Metzger
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Joined: 08/31/2012
MGoPoints: 117
 What the heck... these

 What the heck... these uniforms turned Kovacs black!

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December 20th, 2012 at 2:55 PM
(Reply to #104) #132
borninAnnArbor
borninAnnArbor's picture
Joined: 10/10/2012
MGoPoints: 1680
Maybe

Maybe. Or perhaps the players are going to wear ninja outfits underneath. What people don't realize is that Kovacs is actually in there gathering until on what people are saying about the uniform. Then Brandon will ignore it.

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December 18th, 2012 at 7:00 PM
#133
WolverineRage
WolverineRage's picture
Joined: 01/07/2011
MGoPoints: 183
Don't like the uni's, like the helmets

I posted on FB after watching the Utah State/Toledo matchup where they both had matte helmets that I'd be curious to see the M helmet in matte.



I like this helmet. I think a full matte would be cool too.



That being said, I don't like the uni. It's too busy and weird.



Fighting the patch is a losing battle. That's what the bowls do these days. I'm guessing (hoping) its an Outback Bowl requirement and not a choice by DB.

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December 18th, 2012 at 7:01 PM
#134
Elmer
Elmer's picture
Joined: 04/22/2011
MGoPoints: 5141
The back of the jersey looks

The back of the jersey looks worse than the front.  Can't stand the patches and the blue across the shoulders. 

The one thing I do really like is that numbers are bolder, instead of the skinny, odd looking font for the numbers on the Sugar Bowl jersey.  Even our normal away jersey needs slightly larger numbers like this one has.  As for the numbers being yellow with blue trim, I'm not sure.  Would have to see them live...which I guess I will.

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December 18th, 2012 at 7:22 PM
#135
YoOoBoMoLloRoHo
YoOoBoMoLloRoHo's picture
Joined: 11/01/2012
MGoPoints: 9545
Meh on helmet, yikes with the

jersey and blasphemy for giving up home field unis.

I'm looking forward to a bowl game in the near future when we just wear traditional stuff and pound the traditional stuffing out of the opposition. Manball in manwear.

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December 18th, 2012 at 7:57 PM
(Reply to #116) #136
El Jeffe
El Jeffe's picture
Joined: 07/07/2008
MGoPoints: 19400
I would do different things

I would do different things if I had more hands, but I agree with the sentiment.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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December 18th, 2012 at 7:49 PM
#137
harmon98
harmon98's picture
Joined: 07/24/2008
MGoPoints: 8274
Well

I had a WOW moment just prior to the Off My Lawn moment. Thanks DB.
The slope is slippery indeed.

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December 18th, 2012 at 8:06 PM
#138
Class of 1817
Class of 1817's picture
Joined: 06/23/2011
MGoPoints: 3190
What's up with those ugly #1s

What's up with those ugly #1s on the front taking up all that space?! There's room for at LEAST 5 more logos on that uniform!

Dave Brandin' is slippin'.

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December 18th, 2012 at 8:20 PM
#139
B-Nut-GoBlue
Joined: 09/30/2011
MGoPoints: 17139
Thought I'd stop in and

Thought I'd stop in and co-sign that I think these are G*d F**king Awful.  All of it.

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December 18th, 2012 at 9:20 PM
#140
MGlobules
Joined: 11/17/2008
MGoPoints: 16433
You've heard of Dollar Bill Bradley?

We give you Dollar Dave Branding--killing the goose that laid the golden egg. 

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December 18th, 2012 at 8:33 PM
#141
Bobby Digital
Bobby Digital's picture
Joined: 07/05/2008
MGoPoints: 2390
weak.

weak.

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December 18th, 2012 at 8:38 PM
#142
Mike420GoBlue
Mike420GoBlue's picture
Joined: 09/02/2012
MGoPoints: 4412
What happened

To the home team wearing the dark colored jersey? BTW it feels dirty typing the word colored, no matter the context...

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December 18th, 2012 at 11:33 PM
(Reply to #133) #143
Muttley
Muttley's picture
Joined: 07/07/2009
MGoPoints: -74931
The cost of the alternate unis is negligible as part of a

multi-million dollar event.  If you hate 'em, hate 'em on something significant.  And there is plenty of valid opinions in this thread as to why someone wouldn't like them.

 

That said, I'm middle aged and like 'em.  The away jerseys.  ((Ducks for cover))

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December 18th, 2012 at 9:15 PM
#144
DK81
DK81's picture
Joined: 02/11/2012
MGoPoints: 3198
I don't think all "kids" love

I don't think all "kids" love Uni changes. I'm an undergrad at CMU and I have hated all the alt jerseys. Not just Michigans. (Except Georgia all black against Florida a few years back was pretty cool.) Michigan should never wear alt jerseys!

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December 18th, 2012 at 9:19 PM
#145
Mwhiting1589
Joined: 08/27/2011
MGoPoints: 52
admittedly the only change to

admittedly the only change to the helmets i said i would welcome and be excited about is the matte blue/shiny maize combo

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December 18th, 2012 at 9:22 PM
#146
BlueHills
Joined: 10/31/2010
MGoPoints: 4145
These uniformz are designed

These uniformz are designed to make the other team sick. That has to be it, because looking at them makes me sick.

In fact, to augment this master stroke of genius, Brandon has arranged for the world's most nauseating pizza, Domino's, to be served to the South Carolina team before the game.

The comination is designed to cause SC's players to vomit and become so dehydrated that Michigan has a chance to win.

But the Ol' Ball Coach and the SEC have a trick up their sleeves, too. Because their plan is to host Michigan's team with a special Lizard's Thicket Restaurant meal imported from South Carolina. And wear mirrored unis.

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December 19th, 2012 at 2:22 AM
(Reply to #142) #147
mishler3
Joined: 09/01/2009
MGoPoints: 384
Alternate unis

I live in Florida and haven't seen my beloved Wolverines play in person in a few years. First I find 3 players are suspended for doing stupid things as kids are want to do. Now I see these unis and I want to hurl. WTF Brandon? Athletic Dept not making enough $. Quit messing with the uniforms and especially the helmet. UM fans love our unis. The spotlight on the legends is ok, respectful. These bowl unis look like the USFL of the 80's. Effing disgrace. Stop it Brandon.

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December 18th, 2012 at 10:09 PM
#148
Summoner10
Joined: 07/19/2010
MGoPoints: 230
What is Brian refering to in

What is Brian refering to in the first line of this post?

 

I like these uniforms myself.  WOuldn't want them as a continuous choice in rotation but for a special event like a bowl I think they look good.  Plus I really like the Matte finish helmets.... much better then the usual shiny shit  that most special uni's have.

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December 18th, 2012 at 11:07 PM
(Reply to #143) #149
M-Wolverine
M-Wolverine's picture
Joined: 10/04/2009
MGoPoints: 42199
The very first line of the post?

See his post right below this one on the front page.

The trolling line that is funny because around the midway point of THAT post I thought he was going to reference the uni's in really poor taste. Thankfully they were separate.

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December 18th, 2012 at 10:10 PM
#150
Black Socks
Black Socks's picture
Joined: 11/30/2009
MGoPoints: 14365
Do not want.

Do not want.

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December 18th, 2012 at 10:14 PM
#151
User -not THAT user
User -not THAT user's picture
Joined: 06/05/2012
MGoPoints: 1894
Not into any of it.

Matte helmets remind me of the boy racers who buy up all the Krylon at Hobby Lobby in order to spraypaint their ricer Hondas flat black to look more faster and more furious-er. Pass.

The jerzeez are worse. Numbers should only be maize on the home blues. If these numerals were blue, okay. But it would need blue pants.

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