I GIVE UP ON HATING WISCONSIN
UPDATE: I spilled a liquid on my laptop's keyboard. It reacted poorly; I tried to tell you this above. Instead of a mostly lucid, vaguely misspelled note the above happened on two keystrokes and then the post published itself. It was not an outpouring of existentialist dread at the coming D UFR.
Which aforementioned is delayed by all these shenanigans, naturally, and because the keyboard I'm now typing on is the size of a postcard, which slows the typing thing down. ETA: 1 or 1:30. Brace thyselves.