Independence Denard: The Integration and Infiltration

I did not follow that at all.  I'm so confused!

I hope this didn't take too much time away from UFR.

. . . from cocaine to LSD.

These are nice and all, but I'm much more interested in seeing the UFR's.

Thanks, I could use some light-heartedness. 

Any chance we have any Woodson/Graham hybids in the works?

...making quarterbacks out of genetic material...MCGRUBER!...

...Can't believe its Brady with feet like a du-uck!...MCGRUBER!...

...He got an F on Galton Theory....MCGRUBER!!!....

"He's In Love With Denard Now!....MCGRUBER!!!!!"

!!*KABOOOOM*!!!

The UFRs will come, all in due time.  The people need hope and laughs these days, and this was awesome....poor mike williams...

Good stuff and I'm glad that we can finally start laughing again. Also, since I am an AFLAC Agent It's nice to see a little marketing on display at my favorite website.  Keep up the good work Brian. Looking forward to the UFR!!

Apparently I'm missing the peculiar combination of genes and ADHD that allows one to read all the way through these.

Is it just cuz I'm a hobo, or did all of that make very little sense?

Wait, I'm confused. So the cops knew that internal affairs were setting them up?
 

My brain!

I got it all... I think.

Edit: A breakdown for everyone, and to see if it all makes the sense I think it does.

Denard Robinson is Tom Brady's torso on Desmon Howard's Legs.

Juice Williams is an evil duck on Desmond Howard's Legs.

Charlie Weis is fat Tom Brady's torso on an evil duck's legs.

I wasn't about to start an OT thread just for this, but enjoy, Mgoreaders who click through to the comments!

Made me spit up my soup.  True story.

(Miss you, big guy!  xoxo)

of "Heroes" which is why it was cancelled.

this is front page material? really? during the season...really? put this in a diary or something... anyone else agree?

ZIP ZIP ZIP ZIP ZIP ZIP ZIP ZIP

Not in the face!

VRRRREEEEEEESHOWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Not there either.

I'm the first to say...

That's what she said.

Skeet Skeet Skeet, indeed.

UFRs look different this year.

"15 seconds MacUFRer!"

"Ok ok, just let me do one more scene change here..."

"5 seconds MacUFRer!"

"wait, what if we then take the legs from Brady and fuse them with..."

Strangest UFR ever!!

LOL, I like the jester side of you Brian.

Here's hoping we keep you in positive spirits all fall!!!

My brain hurts and it feels so good

100% Pure Columbian... wait, THAT explains it.

This really is painfully bad.

......but that'sbecause he just FINISHED THE OFFENSIVE UFR!!!!!

Wait for it people......and you will soon understand what OFF THE CHARTS NUMBERS will do to someone who was teetering on the ledge on Friday.

We're so baaaaaaack!

hilarious.  My favorite part:

"I JUST PLAYED SIXTEEN GAMES OF CHESS AND SMILED WITH THE WATTAGE OF A THOUSAND SUNS"

Denard is Keyser Soze?

I don't think I am smart enough (nerdy enough?) for these. My head hurts.

Well...done?

Not to get all geeky...but I'm confused why you have a picture of Ghost Anakin and call him Lawrence Kasdan?

Ghost Anakin was played by Sebastian Shaw (before being removed in the DVD re-release and replaced by Hayden Christensen by ever fiddling George Lucas).  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0789970/

Lawrence Kasdan is the screenplay writer for Empire and Jedi and maybe some others.  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001410/

If the mis-match is intentional then it flew over my head.

cheers

For those of you who had trouble understanding this series:

Quick notes:

• It's humor
• In 2008, Brian did one of these that was the spoonful of sugar to make that awful season go down.
• J Leman was an Illinois linebacker who could tackle, making him a hero to UI, whose class photo with a huge mullet and U.S.A. tie endeared him for life to bloggers world- (i.e. Big Ten)-wide.
• Mr. Burns and Darth Vader are clandestine evil chairmen.
• Sometimes just writing words in English doesn't quite convey the feeling of something. This is when art kicks in. You are meant to wonder at the potential awesomeness of a Tom Brady with Desmond Howard legs, and then wonder at the fact that this perfectly describe's Denard's start vs. UConn.

On with the show:

Part I: The Dark Before the Dawn

• A band of secret, powerful men meet in 1992 to discuss a nefarious plot to make Michigan good for all-time by cloning Desmond Howard.
• This plan has a setback: they can only clone Desmond's legs. The scientist is ordered to dispose of the legs.
• This secret group is also planning to position Bob Davie as Notre Dame's head coach, since part of their plot is to destroy ND football.
• Before the legs can be destroyed, J Leman busts in and steals them.
• We follow Leman back to Illinois, which is run by a talking duck, and where Ron Zook's evil twin is involved in a  sub-plot to destroy Michigan because they think we are their rivals (running joke: they believe they are our rivals).
• The "evil twin" trope is from an Original Start Trek episode where Spock's evil twin was distinguished by having a mustache and goatee.
• Illinois has kidnapped Tom Brady, who can't figure out, having been told only that his tormentors are Michigan's arch-rivals, exactly who has kidnapped him (Ohio State? Notre Dame? MSU? Minnesota?)
• J Leman is visited by Jedi apparations who convince him what he is doing is un-American. Leman turns on Illinois
• In the ensuing violence, Tom Brady, the legs of Desmond Howard, and the duck are thrown into a cloning machine, which explodes....end of Part I

Part II: The Integration and Infiltration\

• J Leman awakes. He sees a duck atop the legs of Desmon Howard. The duck/Desmond knows everything about Michigan and how to torment Michigan, but is otherwise useless.
• Tom Brady awakes. He finds an incredibly bright, incredibly fast half-Brady/half-Desmond Howard. This being shows it is capable, unlike Brady, of defeating really good defensive ends like Adrian Clayborn.
• Bob Zook wakes and finds a half-Brady/Half-Duck that can only quack. Also, the Illinois duck can now only say "AFLAC." Since the duck can no longer make decisions, Zook uses this to get his brother Ron installed as the next Illini head coach.
• Outside, Leman discovers the Duck/Desmond thing knows a ton about beating Michigan but nothing else. He names it "Juice Williams."
• Brady and the Brady/Desmond thing emerge from underground and are rescued by hot models and Gisele Bundchen.
• Bob Zook gets the Bradyduck stoned, and ever-after the quacking Brady/Duck needs to eat incessently. Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen arrive and steal the Brady/Duck away.
• 3 years later, Tom Brady has made the Duck/Brady with munchies abomination into Charlie Weiss, and convinced Bill Bellicheck that Weiss is a great offensive coordinator -- this is all a plot to install Weiss as Notre Dame's head coach.
• 4 years later, the Brady/Desmond super-smart super-happy super-awesome abomination is Denard Robinson and playing for a Florida high school. In order to hide its abilities until they are needed, Weiss is used to ruin Denard's stats.
• Meanwhile, but 2008 the Duck/Desmond abomination, Juice Williams, is using its incomparable knowledge of Michigan football to make Mike Williams totally incapacitated and destroy Michigan.
• By pre-season 2009 Denard is on campus at Michigan and expectations for RR are high, but they discover that Denard (either through having some genetic duck in him, or because he was subjected to Weiss) is a year away from being useful.
• In 2009, Juice Williams destroys Mike Williams and the Michigan defense again, but in every other game he is exactly as competent as you would expect a duck with Desmond Howard's legs would be.
• Denard Robinson gets a "montage" so as to get good at football. As soon as he has done this, he is awesome and demolishes Connecticut. Rich Rodriguez smiles: Notre Dame's program has been demolished, J Leman has been turned to good, and we have Tom Brady with the legs of Desmond Howard at quarterback.
• This is good.

What the…?

My sentiments exactly.

the humor class at engineer skewl.

but, oh well. he's just so dern cute

This was so good that I am upset with the fact that there are no plans for a trilogy.