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I Think You Mean "Cooler," Sir

By Brian — October 6th, 2011 at 11:44 AM — 51 comments
Filed under:
  • 100% pure colombian awesome
  • cooler-poopers
  • lolbuckeyes
  • ohio state

I would normally throw this in a UV, but this warrants a little shrine all its own. Via the M-Zone, this is the best summation of Ohio State's contribution to the national culture ever recorded in a bathroom and posted to youtube:

I AGREE.

UPDATE: This guy has a series of weird addled thirty-second bathroom-themed raps. And songs about how his life sucks or how he is the sexiest man in the whole wide world.

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October 6th, 2011 at 11:47 AM | "I like to poop my pants, (Score:5 Normal)
uniqenam
uniqenam's picture
Joined: 07/20/2009
MGoPoints: 2431

"I like to poop my pants, when I'm in the bathroom."

 

A legend is born.

I miss King of Belch.

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October 6th, 2011 at 11:51 AM | Makes Sense (Score:4 Normal)
Marley Nowell
Marley Nowell's picture
Joined: 07/31/2008
MGoPoints: 2948

That was his #1 bathroom so #2 has got to be done somewhere else, apparently in his pants.

"Relax you panic monger" -Megatron

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October 6th, 2011 at 1:02 PM | #2 (Score:1)
Y0ST
Y0ST's picture
Joined: 02/25/2010
MGoPoints: 720

His #2 bathroom is decorated in green and white.

"True loyalty is that quality of service that grows under adversity and expands in defeat. Any street urchin can shout applause in victory, but it takes character to stand fast in defeat. One is noise - the other, loyalty." — Yost

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October 6th, 2011 at 11:47 AM | What more can you say (Score:5 Normal)
goblizzle
Joined: 11/22/2008
MGoPoints: 103

He takes poops in his bathroom

forever... go blue

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October 6th, 2011 at 11:52 AM | Yo! (Score:3 Normal)
chitown.victor
chitown.victor's picture
Joined: 10/09/2009
MGoPoints: 535

Yo!

"One man. Goodbye! Hello Heisman!"

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October 6th, 2011 at 2:19 PM | Original (Score:2)
jerseyblue
jerseyblue's picture
Joined: 12/20/2008
MGoPoints: 1154

This rendition blows. The original by James Taylor is so much more heartfelt.

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October 6th, 2011 at 11:47 AM | JFC. (Score:4 Normal)
lbpeley
lbpeley's picture
Joined: 01/29/2009
MGoPoints: 1621

I assume he posted that the second after he recorded it so he was still at his maximum level of highness/stoned/drunkenness.

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:03 PM | Ah Take (Score:4 Normal)
Six Zero
Six Zero's picture
Joined: 09/05/2008
MGoPoints: 10176

Poops.  Yo.

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October 6th, 2011 at 11:49 AM | OSU Compliance Dept. approves (Score:5 Normal)
ReadYourGuard
ReadYourGuard's picture
Joined: 08/21/2008
MGoPoints: 6223

OSU Compliance Dept. approves of this bathroom.

"the Spirit of Michigan...is based on a deathless loyalty to Michigan and all her ways....and a conviction that nowhere is there a better university, in any way, than this Michigan of ours" - Fielding Yost
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October 6th, 2011 at 11:53 AM | Gordon Gee (Score:4 Normal)
Six Zero
Six Zero's picture
Joined: 09/05/2008
MGoPoints: 10176

Says this man is the poster child for taking poops.  In the bathroom.  Yo.

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October 6th, 2011 at 11:56 AM | Au contraire, Gordon Gee says (Score:5 Normal)
MaizeAndBlueWahoo
MaizeAndBlueWahoo's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 11915

Au contraire, Gordon Gee says this man is the poster child for non-pooping Michigan fans.  You know, by Gordon Gee's definition of poster child.

"We've beaten Michigan the last four years.  So where's the threat?"

- Mark Dantonio

Blogging the Virginia Cavaliers at http://fromoldvirginia.blogspot.com/<

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October 6th, 2011 at 11:52 AM | That does it.  Sig change ho. (Score:5 Normal)
MaizeAndBlueWahoo
MaizeAndBlueWahoo's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 11915

That does it.  Sig change ho.

Edit: awwwww yea there it is.

"We've beaten Michigan the last four years.  So where's the threat?"

- Mark Dantonio

Blogging the Virginia Cavaliers at http://fromoldvirginia.blogspot.com/<

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October 6th, 2011 at 11:51 AM | Upper decker. (Score:2)
Brumski
Brumski's picture
Joined: 07/07/2008
MGoPoints: 1065

Upper decker.

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October 6th, 2011 at 11:53 AM | Unlike some of you (Score:5 Normal)
El Jeffe
El Jeffe's picture
Joined: 07/07/2008
MGoPoints: 6729

Unlike some of you misanthropes, I try to give all people the benefit of the doubt because it's what the baby Jesus would do. Here are three possibilities:

  • He's reading the transcript of something his adorable 3 year old niece said, adding "yo" and "motherfuckin" here and there just for comedic effect.
  • He, through no fault of his own, has a severe mental illness that makes him think he is his 3 year old niece.
  • He's a Michigan fan who was kidnapped and locked in an OSU fan's elaborately appointed bathroom with a camera. He was told to record a ransom plea but, being a Michigan fan, couldn't resist mocking his captors.
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October 6th, 2011 at 11:54 AM | I'll take Door #3 there, (Score:2)
Chris of Danger...
Chris of Dangerous Logic's picture
Joined: 08/30/2008
MGoPoints: 852

I'll take Door #3 there, Monty.

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October 7th, 2011 at 7:24 AM | Definitely door # 3 (Score:1)
fitty88
Joined: 11/27/2010
MGoPoints: 153
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October 6th, 2011 at 11:57 AM | I conjecture that (Score:3 Normal)
BornInAA
BornInAA's picture
Joined: 11/21/2009
MGoPoints: 3675

because he normally goes in a cooler, and one is not available, he is confused by the large white thing on the floor. Not knowing how to raise the lid, he unfortunately goes in his pants.

life is like a box of chocolates... and you got the Whizzo Quality Assortment

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:27 PM | And by pants he means "jorts" (Score:5 Normal)
Feat of Clay
Feat of Clay's picture
Joined: 08/10/2009
MGoPoints: 2888

And by pants he means "jorts"

 

Candace: No... That why they make smart word box for tell monkey hard brain-hurty things.
Phineas: Removing prepositions makes it more condescending.
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October 6th, 2011 at 11:57 AM | #1 place for #2 (Score:1)
jwschultz
jwschultz's picture
Joined: 09/21/2009
MGoPoints: 448

Just... what?  What puts these ideas into people's heads and makes them want to share their [hopefully] worst moments ever with the entire world?
In this same category, I just happened across another great M-Zone find that I somehow missed a year ago, but which competes with this for Ultimate Misguided Fan Tribute, while also providing another tally in the "Con" side of the "Mascot?" ledger.

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October 6th, 2011 at 11:58 AM | Wait for it...... (Score:0 Flamebait)
MGoCooper
Joined: 04/21/2011
MGoPoints: 1025

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:00 PM | I think I'm stupider just for watching that (Score:1)
superstringer
superstringer's picture
Joined: 02/04/2009
MGoPoints: 1015

I feel like my IQ just dropped 5% merely from viewing that.

I'm not sure I can ever take a poop again without thinking about tSIO now.  However, I'm not sure that is a good thing or a bad thing.  I'm inclined to believe that, liking tSIO and fecal material is somehow a natural and normal thing.  When I take a big one I'll let you all know.  Or, maybe not.

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:09 PM | well... (Score:5 Normal)
JeepinBen
JeepinBen's picture
Joined: 01/22/2010
MGoPoints: 9577

"Over? Did you say, over? Nothing is over until we decide it is!"

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:13 PM | Bravo (Score:3 Normal)
Six Zero
Six Zero's picture
Joined: 09/05/2008
MGoPoints: 10176

We need to be able to vote something up as 'Spectaculous.'  Well done sir.

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:18 PM | Well done (Score:2)
mrkid
mrkid's picture
Joined: 09/12/2011
MGoPoints: 81

And maybe the inspiration for the O logo? It's all coming together. #1 inspiration

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:26 PM | I'm gonna go (Score:2)
uofmUT
Joined: 02/18/2009
MGoPoints: 49

I'm gonna go drop one off in the porcelin horseshoe just became a regular part of my toilet vocabulary.

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October 7th, 2011 at 7:22 AM | Love It (Score:1)
Drbogue
Joined: 07/22/2011
MGoPoints: 410

Ahhh the toilet bowl

In Hoke we trust...

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October 7th, 2011 at 7:26 AM | Spectacularly (Score:1)
fitty88
Joined: 11/27/2010
MGoPoints: 153

Awesome. Reading this in the bathroom, I about fell off my own porcelain horseshoe laughing!

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:08 PM | They don't call it a (Score:3 Normal)
The Squid
The Squid's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 184

They don't call it a Cleveland Steamer for nothing, ya know.

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:09 PM | That's gonna leave a mark. (Score:2 Normal)
His Dudeness
His Dudeness's picture
Joined: 11/24/2008
MGoPoints: 13620

That's gonna leave a mark.

or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:13 PM | in Columbus a short vid like (Score:5 Normal)
entirely reasonable
entirely reasonable's picture
Joined: 07/24/2008
MGoPoints: 2517

in Columbus a short vid like that is called a résumé

"Play hard and with great effort"

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October 6th, 2011 at 1:19 PM | In Columbus it's pronounced (Score:3 Informative)
OysterMonkey
OysterMonkey's picture
Joined: 08/22/2009
MGoPoints: 2773

In Columbus it's pronounced "re-zoom."

This has nothing to do with Michigan football.

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:22 PM | This guy will be (Score:2 Insightful)
Maize
Maize's picture
Joined: 04/01/2009
MGoPoints: 151

This guy will be the next Ohio AD. BKFinest it!

Tressel: Pounding kids since April 2010.

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:22 PM | He didn't even let me answer (Score:2)
BlueVoix
BlueVoix's picture
Joined: 06/25/2009
MGoPoints: 5546

He didn't even let me answer when he asked what I knew.  :-(

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:32 PM | I think Hoke has changed the (Score:4 Normal)
Anonymosity
Anonymosity's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 2058

I think Hoke has changed the tide on the rivalry. Hell people in Ohio are starting to poop. Never in a million years I would have thought that. Pooping is a good start. 

Ann Arbor: now the permanent home of the Little Brown Jug

67-22-3 all-time

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:34 PM | PLEASE (Score:1)
Maize
Maize's picture
Joined: 04/01/2009
MGoPoints: 151

Please let there be an autotune remix for this!

Tressel: Pounding kids since April 2010.

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:44 PM | Or Perhaps (Score:3 Normal)
UMAmaizinBlue
UMAmaizinBlue's picture
Joined: 09/23/2009
MGoPoints: 7280

A dubstep version. Aw hell, why not both!

"Blame no one. Expect nothing. Do something. That is attitude." -Bo

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:34 PM | Can't wait for the DJ Steve (Score:1)
T
T's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 115

Can't wait for the DJ Steve Porter remix...

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:45 PM | .... (Score:2)
UMAmaizinBlue
UMAmaizinBlue's picture
Joined: 09/23/2009
MGoPoints: 7280

O_o

 

Maybe he's excited because he just learned how to do it ALL BY HIMSELF like a good boy!

"Blame no one. Expect nothing. Do something. That is attitude." -Bo

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October 6th, 2011 at 12:53 PM | Waiting for Eleven Warriors to weigh in (Score:1)
StephenRKass
StephenRKass's picture
Joined: 07/15/2008
MGoPoints: 4283

Eleven Warriors linked to TWIS yesterday, (and actually gave Mr. Cook props) and warned Ohio fans that the Internet was not always their friend. This is exhibit A for that fact. I would love to hear either eleven warriors or the ozone comment on this. I'm know you guys are lurking . . . what say you?

"It does not matter how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up." Vince Lombardi

 

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October 6th, 2011 at 1:00 PM | posted from iPhone (Score:1)
allintime23
allintime23's picture
Joined: 09/21/2009
MGoPoints: 2400

Very disturbing stuff.

All in for some manball.

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October 6th, 2011 at 1:01 PM | Rest easy Buckeyes (Score:2 Normal)
mooseman
Joined: 07/10/2008
MGoPoints: 397

We've found Gee's replacement.

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October 6th, 2011 at 1:07 PM | I be like dang. (Score:2)
gwrock
gwrock's picture
Joined: 10/05/2010
MGoPoints: 983

I be like dang.

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October 6th, 2011 at 1:47 PM | I can't believe no one has said... (Score:5 Normal)
Sambojangles
Sambojangles's picture
Joined: 12/15/2008
MGoPoints: 1318

It's bad to take poops in the bathroom when you don't have any more TP.

"The trouble with quotes on the internet, is that it is often difficult to discern whether or not they are genuine" --Abraham Lincoln

@Sambojangles

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October 6th, 2011 at 2:37 PM | Not everyone is a perfect (Score:4 Normal)
ReadYourGuard
ReadYourGuard's picture
Joined: 08/21/2008
MGoPoints: 6223

Not everyone is a perfect person in the world.  I mean, everybody does....poops, shits, pees on you, pees on me.  I just feel people need to give him a chance.  I always look up to the dude in the video and I always will because I still think he's one of the best poopers to me and I just love his rap, yo"

"the Spirit of Michigan...is based on a deathless loyalty to Michigan and all her ways....and a conviction that nowhere is there a better university, in any way, than this Michigan of ours" - Fielding Yost
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October 6th, 2011 at 8:44 PM | God damn.  I feel so (Score:1)
BlueDragon
BlueDragon's picture
Joined: 11/14/2010
MGoPoints: 16812

God damn.  I feel so sophisticated all of a sudden.

Abort, Retry, Fail?

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October 7th, 2011 at 12:00 PM | that reminds me (Score:1)
Steenie
Steenie's picture
Joined: 09/04/2010
MGoPoints: 247

i was just going to take a trip to my motherfucking number 1 bathroom...yo

"Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback." -The Dude

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October 9th, 2011 at 1:10 PM | i like the part where he (Score:1)
peg dash fab
peg dash fab's picture
Joined: 11/22/2008
MGoPoints: 119

i like the part where he chants about poops in the bathroom

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