I Only Post About Coaches Who Coach For Michigan
EARTH
THIRD PLANET
NONDESCRIPT SOLAR SYSTEM IN MILKY WAY
48009
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PEOPLE OF EARTH
Citizens of the planet, I come before you today to make an announcement. That announcement is: I do not give a microdamn about the things 1) Rich Rodriguez or 2) Michigan alumni such as Desmond Howard have to say about Michigan and Rich Rodriguez, respectively.
My interest levels are declining into femtodamn levels. On message boards I now flip past entire threads in which the same tired debates are brought forth with the speed and determination I ignore threads about politics on the internet. Let that sink in. Yeah. That's right. I have as much interest in this topic as I do Herman Cain.
So I don't want to dedicate yet more time to a guy who was fired a year ago except to talk about the things that made his offense very effective and his defense very ineffective. Those things affect Michigan's fortunes on the field and are interesting examples of the ever-evolving college football metagame. Also interesting, if slightly depressing, is the pickle Rodriguez's last couple recruiting classes have left Michigan in, especially on both lines.
Talking about other aspects of Rich Rodriguez's tenure makes me want to claw at my face. But I will do this for you, like I will eat a lemon if Yuri Wright picks Colorado over Michigan. So here is a handy chart for you to follow.
--------------------
EVENT: Rich Rodriguez has said something.
1. Is it about Michigan? If yes, go to 2. If no, go to 3.
2. Is it really about Michigan or is it a paranoid delusion? If paranoid delusion, go to 3. If still about Michigan, go to 4.
3. Don't care.
4. Still don't care. However, this incident is further evidence that Rodriguez is deservedly bitter about his three year tenure at Michigan and impolitic about discussing it.
Yes, it is further evidence that Rodriguez's maturity level and ability to play "the game" are low. Yes, it reminds me how nice it is to have a guy like Brady Hoke, who says all the correct things in all the generic ways possible. Yes—
What? Where am I? Why am I upside down in some sort of river valley? Why is there a bridge above/below me?
Hmmm.
I was probably bungee jumping at the time in an effort to prevent the inevitable—this is the level of my dedication to you, reader—but this topic was still massively boring enough to result in nappy times. I apologize. I'm so, so happy to be talking about this, no, serious—
--------------------
EVENT: A program alum or Lloyd Carr has said something.
1. Is it about Rich Rodriguez? If yes, go to 2. If no, go to 3.
2. Is it really about Rich Rodriguez or is it more of a rapturous thing about Brady Hoke that sets the lack of support given during the Rodriguez tenure in stark relief? If rapturous thing, go to 3. If actually about Rodriguez, go to 4.
3. Yes, that is annoying but let's just suck it up because it's in the best interests of the program.
4. Yes, it is extremely disappointing that certain program alumni appear to be jerks. What can you do, though?
To take one example, when you're so dim and callous as to deride Rodriguez as "Cherry Coke"—probably meant "New Coke"—in front of 60-70 players who were recruited by Rodriguez, are the living embodiment of that change, and went 10-2 and reached the Sugar Bowl, well… that's hopeless. Anyone who would trash-talk Denard, even indirectly, is never going to Get It.
It's further evidence that several recent program alums' maturity levels are low. It reminds me of how nice it was to have Bo around. There's nothing to do about it but wait. Eventually the Rodriguez recruits will be out of the program and the Rodriguez years far enough in the—
Right, this again. Upside down in a river valley.
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If I can remain conscious long enough to respond to these things in the future, all future events will be filed "3" or "4". This, people of Earth, is my sacrifice for your well-being. Let it not be in vain. File these things 3 or 4 and live your lives without Rodriguez-Michigan-induced narcolepsy. You, too, can live—
Sincerely,
An upside-down Brian Cook who would greatly appreciate being reeled in now
PS. Many of you have passed out in front of your computers and are in danger of entering an infinite loop wherein you wake up, forget what you were reading, begin reading again, and fall asleep. In an effort to prevent the thousands of deaths that may result, here is an animated GIF of some levitating cats.
![attention-people-of-earth-we-will-expurrminate-you[1]](https://mgoblog.com/sites/mgoblog.com/files/attention-people-of-earth-we-will-expurrminate-you1.gif "attention-people-of-earth-we-will-expurrminate-you[1]")
Hopefully this will catch the newly-awakened reader's eye sufficiently to prevent them from entering a fatal boredom loop.
December 14th, 2011 at 2:44 PM ^
But hey, at least he's trying. We all could a little more. It's hard to do sometimes. But slowly, more and more things just slide, because they matter less and less day by day. But excellent logical inconsistency shout out.
December 14th, 2011 at 3:19 PM ^
Of course this question comes from a lawyer....
December 14th, 2011 at 1:31 PM ^
December 14th, 2011 at 1:52 PM ^
i lost four hours.
December 14th, 2011 at 4:36 PM ^
Turns out the RR argument was the real cause of the Enterprise being caught in that temporal casuality loop with the Bozeman. That tidbit must've been editted from the episode for time purposes.
/nerd
December 14th, 2011 at 1:32 PM ^
is going to do or not do to the list? I don't give a #$%&#@ anymore.
December 14th, 2011 at 2:22 PM ^
Holy crap yes, this. I am so sick of hearing about Urban Meyer. I feel like there never used to be this many pointless forum posts. Am I remembering in rose-colored glasses?
December 14th, 2011 at 1:37 PM ^
couldnt resist (please don't ban me, please don't ban me)
December 14th, 2011 at 1:43 PM ^
So, can we now expect daily posts on why you think David Brandon is the worst thing ever? I can't wait...
December 14th, 2011 at 2:03 PM ^
...to these either?
December 14th, 2011 at 2:06 PM ^
Shoe sighting 2:00. Where the fuck have you been. You won't believe it but Michigan went 10-2 this year. It's been awesome
December 14th, 2011 at 2:20 PM ^
...say? Based on what I'd learned in the offseason here, it was my understanding that Michigan was destined for a disappointing season. Huh. Wonder what the heck happened? Who would have thunk such success was possible?
December 14th, 2011 at 3:27 PM ^
That is simply untrue. The season preview was considerably more optimistic than the average prediction.
http://mgoblog.com/content/preview-2011-heuristics-and-stupid-prediction
Find me something more optimistic than "A fully healthy Michigan looks like a (fringe) contender for a division crown, but football teams are not fully healthy" and a prediction of 8-4 with 9-3 more likely than than 7-5 that wasn't written by a 13 year old on Bleacher Report.
What I did argue for was a heavy shotgun based offense that revolves around Denard's legs, and worried that its lack would lead to poor performance. That prediction was borne out precisely both in wins and losses.
December 14th, 2011 at 3:57 PM ^
You made those predictions September 2, 2011, I think Shoe had already cancelled his subscription by that point, due to the unnecessary, unsound, ubiquitous, nature of your whining.
December 14th, 2011 at 4:38 PM ^
...the inclination to check preseason prognostications from non-B/R outlets, but way to go there, Brian. You did as well as someone who predicted a 12-0 season!
But seriously, I didn't read your prediction thread because you drove me off this site with your Debbie Downer approach to the direction of the athletic department (culminating in your juvenile wailing about the Appalachian State scheduling decision).
I am very happy that you don't give a femtodamn about RichRod anymore. We're on the same page there. But you do realize that you created this monster that you rail against in your OP, don't you? If you really want it to stop, you need to address the subject more forthrightly. The fact is that your incessant campaign against the athletic department ("The Process", game day experience, etc.) feeds the idiots that obsess about RichRod because it gives the impression that this season's success was possible even if the worst coach in Michigan history was still roaming the Michigan Stadium sidelines. I'm pretty sure that you don't believe that to be true and you're hardly responsbile for the actions and opinions of your many thousands of MGoUsers but you are clearly the Pied Piper of MGoBlogelin. That can't be waved away because you don't want people to act that way.
And by the way, I think it's abundantly clear now that the following things are accurate constructions, not the snarky sarcastic back handed commentary on Hoke that you meant them to be.
- Hoke über alles
- Hoke Gets It
- Probably about five other phrases that I'd be able to spout off if I hadn't stopped contributing here
December 14th, 2011 at 4:52 PM ^
You probably don't need to fan the flames by calling people that appreciated Rodriguez for what he was (aka "supporters") idiots. I'm not sure if that was your intention or not, but its offensive and just continues the family feud. I miss having you around here Shoe, but not if you're going to talk about fellow MGoUsers in that fashion.
December 14th, 2011 at 5:14 PM ^
Ah, I see, we're arguing about the things I've written that you haven't read. I don't think this will go well for you.
December 14th, 2011 at 5:51 PM ^
Can't we all just get along?
December 14th, 2011 at 5:57 PM ^
...for a hyperbolism. Be that as it may, when it comes to RichRod you can't have it both ways. When you rail against your RichRod-hyper obsessive MGoRats for doing the thing you've previously given them license to do, your words ring somewhat hollow (at least to this reader).
December 14th, 2011 at 8:00 PM ^
...but after being one of the best sources of information on MGoBlog for Michigan-related news that flew a little under the radar, you have now devolved into exclusively a cynic that flames Brian and all his readers when they 1) criticize Dave Brandon, and 2) try to mediate the chaos that are emotionally-driven Rich Rodriguez arguments.* Yet there's a sect of MGoBlog users that prefer to posbang your cynicism because apparently, that's what this blog needs to display: more emotionally-driven garbage about how Brian has lost his way and idiotic MGoRats can do nothing but... uh... infest MGoBlog... like idiots? You'll have to remind me why MGoRat is a relevant metaphor; personally, I think MGoParrot works better for your perspective, though I still think it's wrong.
Is this what this blog is for? I get it if someone needs to get called out, but if people actually agree with Brian's perspective, then there has to be some assumed merit to his words**. If you disagree with Brian and other blog users, there are more respectful ways to approach him from writing an e-mail about it to replacing the "You all suck!" comments to stating WHY you think it's wrong for him to criticize Dave Brandon (reasons regarding why what Dave Brandon did was good) to a simple "I disagree/The issue is overblown". Giving him--and all the readers that praised Brian for this position--a giant middle finger when he is doing what YOU WANT HIM TO DO puts you into troll category. "Yeah, you're doing the right thing now, but remember the time when you did something wrong and I disagreed with you? That shows you're bad."
Disclaimer: If your account has been hijacked by someone that is now using your profile to troll (gaining support using your assumed reputation), I will ready my trenchcoat with my sawed-off shotguns, M60, ammo belt, grenades, and sub-machine guns to bring back old MGoShoe, because damn was his material insightful and interesting to read.
*I'm sorry, I didn't read the front-page post where Brian told his readers to rehash stale arguments about a former head coach. Turns out you didn't either. Wait, Brian already used that joke? Oh well, it was still funny to me.
**OTOH, if Brian is some demon that attracts the cultist worshippers to follow him, your efforts are wasteful anyway.
December 14th, 2011 at 8:35 PM ^
...railing against his cynicism. And therein lies a lesson for us both.
December 14th, 2011 at 8:35 PM ^
You are not being called out for being hyberbolic but for being wrong, and for not even bothering to read what you're trashing.
December 14th, 2011 at 10:13 PM ^
...when I stated I hadn't read anything here since I stopped commenting in late August. I've been reading, and yes, you have (reluctantly) come around on Hoke but almost always its with a heaping side of snark (hell, look at your damn tagline).
What I'm suggesting (and you have certainly not addressed in your replies) is that your OP would have been significantly stronger if you had acknowledged the role you played in the perpetuation of the cult of RichRod via your stubborn Hoke skepticism (Hokepticism?) and your constant assault on Dave Brandon and Michigan Athletic Department corporatism.
So what specifically am I wrong about?
- That your newfound (or at least newly expressed) disdain of all topics RichRodian ignores your role in encouraging an environment where RichRod obsession disorder could flourish?
- That your 8-4 prediction was as accurate as the thoughtful person who had the team going 12-0? Do you really take pride in that prediction? Here's what you based it on:
Some commenters have suggested that the exactingly specific predictions in the previous posts today suggest I'd be predicting something better than 8-4, but I think turnovers, while getting much better, will still be in the red. [Nope, wrong - they were +6] Though the special teams issues can't be as bad they will still be a problem that could kill Michigan in a close game. [Wrong again, this did not happen]
Also, 50th in advanced metrics [this is really, really wrong - they finished 17th in DFEI] is still bleh territory since they correct for schedule strength. For example, that's worse than Purdue and Penn State last year; the Nittany Lions gave up at least 21 points in every Big Ten game and Purdue got bombed for at least 34 five times in conference.
Don't get me wrong. Those were reasonable things to suppose in late August, but to point to your prediction as prescient in any sense seems a tad overblown.
Look, I know that I don't know every nuanced aspect of your opinion about all things Michigan sports and this forum leaves much to be desired as an avenue for resolving disagreements, but it just seems to me that you could do a better job acknowledging your role in perpetuating some of the negative energy that on occasion pervades the comments sections of your blog.
But, hey - it's your blog. I'm just a guy hiding behind a pseudonym.
December 14th, 2011 at 10:52 PM ^
But, hey - it's your blog. I'm just a guy hiding behind a pseudonym.
Your name ISN'T Mgo Shoe? I'm so disillusioned.
Brian was later than some to arrive at the Hoke Uber Alles party, but he has definitely acknowledged his emo phase. I refer you to http://mgoblog.com/content/story-2011-mitigating-william-caines:
It's no secret I've been one discontent blogger ever since the Mississippi State game transpired. In retrospect a lot of my criticisms don't make sense. I thought Michigan should keep Rodriguez after the Ohio State game and fire him after the bowl; I ripped David Brandon for not firing Rodriguez before the bowl if he was going to do the deed. I knew Denard Robinson was the most awesome dude ever and I still assumed he'd transfer. When I interviewed people for the Tim/Tom opening I asked each of them if they disagreed with something I'd written in the past year or so and asked them to argue about it with me; seven of the ten sought tactful ways to remind me that I'd posted "We Are ND*" above the press release announcing Hoke's hire. One just said I'd embarrassed myself with my pettiness. This turned out to be less useful of a question than I'd hoped since by that point I agreed.
That was from August of this year. As a semi-regular around here, I have seen "I was wrong" about 12 different ways since then. When the last guy on board has been on board for 4 months, the debate is officially stale.
Beyond that, I do think it's important to distinguish between the RichRod debate and the Dave Brandon debate. To put it in terms with which you are familiar, RichRod is the shell after it has left the cannon. He's gone. His impact may be felt for a while, but nothing you do now will change anything downrange. Dave Brandon is the guy aiming the battery. Debating after each volley won't change where the last rounds landed, but it remains relevant because he's the guy aiming the next rounds as well.
December 15th, 2011 at 12:50 AM ^
9 months of complete negativity, with a heaping dose of snide insults (come on, he actually said the man was probably going to get paid in donuts) > 3 months of "wow, he actually does do things the way I like it...I'm surprised, and was wrong about that" throwaways.
<br>
<br>If you're going to get nasty and personal, it goes beyond football judgement. "Wrong" is nice; "sorry" would be better.
December 15th, 2011 at 8:15 AM ^
I was pretty disappointed by the snide personal stuff as well. But IIRC, that part only really lasted for a month or so. The general lamentations lasted far beyond that, but after the February it was largely limited to (a) football-related concerns, and (b) Dave Brandon's increasing tendency to Not Get It.
December 15th, 2011 at 12:46 PM ^
He hated Hoke for what Brian thought he was, and what he represented, rather than what he actually was. Tried saying at the time he was a good coach, and a better person. He didn't railroad or fire Rich. He just said "yes" when what he thinks is the best job in the world was offered to him. Frankly, Brady is all the man I thought he'd be, but he's even a better coach than I thought he'd be...and I thought he was pretty darn good. But his confidence in himself, to hire great staff, and in games...a bit more riverboat gambler than I would have predicted, and I love it too.
The problem lies in balance. A month or so (which is probably a good estimate) of acting only slightly better than the worst of the Rich Rod haters + 6 more months of doom and gloom + overreacting to ever little thing - finding anything positive till the season began is going to take more to overcome than the occassional aside about being wrong about some things. And the bigger problem lies in the seeming attitude that "I was never really THAT bad about it...see, I said they could go 9-3" (even though on the radio he seemed to be leaning more towards 7-5), and act like for awhile there, he was a flaming ass, which then upgraded to Debbie downer. I don't expect/think there's necessarily a need for a front page post apology or anything. I'm not in anyone's head or heart. And as Profit said, people change their minds. It's just going to take more to balance the scales of opinion. And what Shoe is saying is that making every little molehill into a mountain means people tune you out when something bad DOES happen. Pick your hills to die on.
This last uniform one...frankly, they look pretty good. They're not really that different. We've made likewise changes to the road uniforms. They were going to be for sale anyway, because they're sticking a big old Sugar Bowl patch on them. The too much, too fast argument holds merit; but if they had worn the MSU disasters again for the bowl, they'd have had one less variation to the uniform combos this year, but even more complaints. We could wear the basic whites, but I'm not even sure what those are supposed to look like anymore with all the color changes we've had in them over the years (the WV stripes were a bigger change than this).
It just seems that it carries on the bitterness, in impression, if not reality, because Brandon went from Pimp Hand "who would see what's going on in the lockerroom and never fire Rich so deal with it fanboys" to greedy money grubber the day the Process went on too long for whoever, and he fired Rich. Then he can do no right. When the reality is he did some dumb things before he fired Rich, and some smart things after he fired Rich. He's human, with is own ideas, that don't all line up with Brian's, my own, or anyone else's. I think meltdowns should be saved for what you really care about, and not every thing. (For me, it was OSU as the last game of the year...still not sure it's perfect with the divisions, but that was my hill to die on). Because it may be that you're over Hoke, but continuing the lock step negativity makes it look like one is really not over something. I don't think it's Rich anymore. But a general malaise, when really, an occassional bumblebee look aside, and a bit too much Neil Diamond, things are looking pretty good in Michigan Athletics right now.
December 14th, 2011 at 11:06 PM ^
I don't quite understand why Brian gets shit for being skeptical of Hoke. But I think this is the main reason: He, as most scientists/engineers/rational people tend to do, makes judgements based on evidence. In other words, this is a results based endeavour.
In Jan, Hoke had a questionable resume (compared to Harbaugh/Urban/"home-run" candidates). It seemed reasonable to question Hoke's resume at the time.
As Hoke developed the '12 recruiting class, this was evidence in favor of the hypothesis that Hoke will be successful at M.
As Hoke developed the '11 team into 10 wins, this was more evidence in favor of the hypothesis that Hoke will be successful at M.
And so, you slowly saw brian ammend his hypothesis based on the continuously developing amount of evidence.
Many people who give him shit for this just put (blind? IDK) faith into whomever is the HC. They operate on belief, not evidence.That's not how Brian operates, as far as I can tell and that's what I think causes the rift.
December 15th, 2011 at 12:40 PM ^
If Brian had actually approached the Hoke hire with a detached, scientific approach, he wouldn't have gotten much flack. Instead, he decided to be a drama queen about it, posting the "We are ND" clip repeatedly, predicting mass transfers and all sorts of doom. Later he took a Hoke comment out of context (the one about not running zone blocking all the time) and again flipped.
He is being a drama queen now about the uniform changes. I don't know why people are acting like he's some calm, collected analyst. He's a fan, in all the good and bad that brings.
December 16th, 2011 at 2:26 AM ^
Brian's erratic posting and editorial stance does not help the cause of legitimizing blogs in the media market.
December 14th, 2011 at 8:11 PM ^
I was thinking it was nice that MGoShoe was back.
December 14th, 2011 at 4:03 PM ^
You have been missed. How was Tibet?
December 14th, 2011 at 4:41 PM ^
...an enlightening experience that I heartily recommend to all.
December 15th, 2011 at 2:31 AM ^
I'm honestly not taking sides here.
But if you're all enlightened and shit from Tibet, why aren't you calmer?
Seems like you came back full of piss and vinegar.
December 15th, 2011 at 4:51 PM ^
...I've become Dalai Lama-like.
It's a Process.
December 15th, 2011 at 5:41 PM ^
Process?
You said the MAGIC WORD!!!
December 14th, 2011 at 1:50 PM ^
Who is this Rodriguez cat we keep talking about?
December 14th, 2011 at 2:08 PM ^
Get with the program, Jamie.
December 14th, 2011 at 3:36 PM ^
We can certainly keep talking about her. In fact, I would endorse that its not even Off Topic
December 14th, 2011 at 6:09 PM ^
She looks like an Ohio fan to me.
December 14th, 2011 at 3:57 PM ^
you mean Rodriquez.
December 14th, 2011 at 4:07 PM ^
Anyone remember MGoVictors13 (I think his name was something like that). The dude absolutely refused to spell Rodriguez correctly despite being corrected numerous times. I believe he chose to leave the blog rather than spell the name correctly.
December 14th, 2011 at 8:57 PM ^
http://mgoblog.com/users/mgovictors23
I can't believe it's been over a year since he's posted. Also, I can't believe the_big_house_500th hasn't made an appearance in over a year. I found him quite entertaining.
December 14th, 2011 at 5:52 PM ^
December 14th, 2011 at 1:58 PM ^
I've visited this site a lot but have not posted before, partly because I hate the constant RR arguing all the time. At this point I really don't care whose fault it was that Mallett transferred or that we lost 3 yards on an outside running play to Illinois in 2008. People need to move on.
December 14th, 2011 at 2:00 PM ^
BRIAN
BRIAN HEY
HEY BRIAN. HEY. HEY. BRIAN HEY HEY BRIAN
I made these for you.
December 14th, 2011 at 1:54 PM ^
The Internet law that says the longer a thread goes, the more likely it is that someone will compare someone/something to Hitler/the Nazis has, I believe a corollary. The longer a thread re: UM football goes, the more likely it is that someone will say something denegrating or praising RR and create a firestorm, until the likelihood becomes 100%.
I couldn't agree more with Brian on this one. Time to move on, my friends.
December 14th, 2011 at 1:57 PM ^
It's called Godwin's Law and you just broke it.
/facepalm
December 14th, 2011 at 2:07 PM ^
and that number of posts in a thread is threeve.
December 14th, 2011 at 2:09 PM ^
Redirect all anger toward uniform fashion and piped-in stadium rock. And I would like to add one more thing: why is the stadium food even worse after the remodel? I thought we had a food guy as our AD.
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