Hanging Ain't Today
At the beginning, I apologized.
I was standing in front of a big group of people in a bar in midtown New York City, and I knew that the year before I had wandered in in a suit and told them that this would be an off year for Michigan football because the quarterbacks were probably bad and the offensive line probably worse. That sounds right from 10,000 feet, but I'd splashed an Alamo Bowl logo up at the end of the presentation when I should have put up a map of Tajikistan underneath the title MOVE HERE IMMEDIATELY.
So I had a slide at the beginning that noted some of the things I'd been very wrong about the year before, and I noted my errors, asked for forgiveness, suggested that football was a crazy game, and promised them less than I'd promised the year before but more than they'd gotten. That seemed to go okay.
Around here, I asked Paul to splice together a bunch of highlights and set it to a song that seemed particularly apropos and posted it on the eve of the season. To call it hopeful sells it short. A bunch of good plays strung together that ignores last year's woe is hopeful. One that acknowledges them and then flashes to color when the good stuff kicks in is closer to an explicit promise.
It's not a surprise that as the season has dragged along, the team an increasingly unrecognizable piece of roadkill grinding away the remnants of a jaw along the highway of the Big Ten, that more than the occasional comment or email references "Sometimes When You're On" as a source of gallows humor. Sometimes there's no humor and the emailer is just lamenting the hope that has transubstantiated into misery. That's considerably worse.
Kennedy is dead and I'm sitting here telling anyone who will ask "things are going to be all right" and now, finally, it's not working. And deservedly so.
------------------------------------
In 2002, I was in Ireland for the summer. I'd graduated from undergrad and had a chunk of money saved up from summers spent interning at engineering firms and my girlfriend of over a year had broken up with me in slow motion and I thought I'd have an adventure. I planned on working. A friend of mine had spent a chunk of time in Ireland working IT when jobs were available for anyone with working knowledge of a screwdriver, but the Celtic Tiger had imploded dramatically with the rest of the tech world in 2001 and I was reduced to wandering around wondering why the hell I needed a resume to pick plates up and put them other places. Surely there was some sort of spatial reasoning test that could be done on the fly.
So I didn't work. I rented a room in a Galway house shared by a bunch of marine biology students—when The Abyss was on TV, the rig-envy was palpable—and screwed around. One of the things I did was watch every game of the World Cup, because why the hell not? Ireland was in it after a famous upset of Holland, not that I knew about this, or how infrequent Irish World Cup appearances are, at the time. I got up at eight in the morning—impressive to me, at least—to watch them tie Cameroon in their first match.
The second match day was a huge, nerve-wracking one with the US taking on Portugal and Ireland staring down the Germans and freaking Oliver Kahn, the robot goalie. Kahn would become a personal sporting bête noire over the course of the tournament, a man worthy of his last name. He would win the Golden Ball as the tournament's best player, the only time in World Cup history that the award has gone to a goalie. And his team didn't even win. He was good.
The USA could really use a win in their first match; Ireland just needed a draw with Saudi Arabia the last game on the schedule.
I debated heading down to the pub at eight in the morning, but eventually decided against it mostly because it was a twenty minute walk. But the US scored, and scored again, and scored again, and with the game 3-1 at halftime and my house abandoned I said "screw it" and spent halftime scurrying downtown. I watched Jeff Agoos score a spectacular own goal while nursing a pint of cider* in a moderately full pub. The USA won and that was well and good. For everyone else, it was a small moment of schadenfreude in before the main event.
So here's the main event: Ireland goes toe-to-toe with the Germans, putting more shots on goal but unable to crack Kahn. In the 19th minute enormous robot striker Miroslav Klose puts the Germans up, but from that moment on they're on the back foot. Ireland presses to no avail. Kahn seems everywhere. He makes three insane saves to keep Ireland off the board. I loathe him. I hate his incredibly German hair, and his insane excellence.
Then it's gone. Ninety minutes are over and they're just kicking it around in stoppage time. Ireland has made their desperate substitutions, sticking creaky old Niall Quinn, a 6'4" battleship of a target forward, out there in the vague hope he can get his head to the ball. In the 92nd minute some defender boots the ball upfield as people do at the end of the game when there's no time and no hope. Quinn finds this ball and flicks it down to an onrushing Robbie Keane. That bastard Kahn is out, though, out fast and in position and Keane has to shoot after one touch and the shot actually deflects off that fucking bastard Kahn…
You have no doubt experienced some variety of sports pandemonium in your life, but you probably haven't watched an entire country take the day off to drink next to the river. In the immediate aftermath I remember hugging some guy who looked like he was from Pakistan. I was instantly recognizable as an American, so maybe that made sense. Ever since, I've rooted for Kahn in his losing battle against preening Jens Lehman, and maybe that makes sense, too.
---------------------
On Wednesday, Ireland missed the World Cup on the most flagrant handball since Diego Maradona.
It has not been a good fall. Since Michigan scraped by Indiana, the team they are vying with for outright possession of the Big Ten cellar, I haven't watched Michigan beat any team that plays at scholarship parity with them in two different sports. Football hasn't beaten a I-A team since September 26th. Hockey is currently languishing at 4-6 after consecutive sweeps at the hands of Miami and, of all teams, Michigan State. In that series, Corey Tropp scored in a game that finished 3-2. Hell, the one hockey game I've listened to on the radio this year was the dismal 2-0 defeat against Fairbanks to open the year.
It's been hard for me. In the past my strategy when sports were more pain than they're worth has been to disconnect as much as possible, but that's obviously not possible any more. So I've seen everything that's happened the last two years somewhere between four and eight times.
But it's been hard on everyone else, too. Johnny emerged from his slumber to write something beautiful about Brandon Minor…
On Saturday he will be there. Maybe not on Thursday or on Friday, but you don’t prepare for the deranged violence.
…and this is how life repays him:
Out
David Molk (knee)
Brandon Minor (shoulder)
He sent me one of the semi-annual IMs we exchange to ask me what percent chance I put on Minor playing. I said "I don't know," and that was that. This is life at the bottom.
Everyone who's joked or not joked about "Sometimes When You're On" is hurt because their expectations have not been met, because they hoped for more. I've played a role in that, and for that I'm sorry. There are days when two minnows come up against world powers and win, or tie their asses off, though. When I went to RBUAS I saw that Jake and Mike and Chad had given way to a new era, however brief it will be:
A beautifully futile gesture. Johnny had the old guys up there forever, and it wasn't hard to figure out why. But what I said after the Notre Dame game still holds, even if it's cast in a different light by the events that followed: this is Michigan now. Though they're still plainly deficient, they'll be there Saturday. I don't know if things are going to be all right anymore. But I'll be there, too, and God help anyone who talks about "heart" within earshot.
Saturday contains itself. For three hours, let hope bloom, and think about the consequences afterward.
*(Don't judge me. It was before noon and somehow Bulmers has this marvelous nutty tinge if you get it from the tap in Ireland. I've had the stuff stateside and it suffers far more than Guinness does.)
Brian, dude. This is a classic. One of your best, for sure.
Thank you.
Go fucking Blue!
I
We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats’ feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar
Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;
Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death’s other Kingdom
Remember us—if at all—not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.
...
III
This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man’s hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.
Is it like this
In death’s other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.
IV
The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms
In this last of meeting places
We grope together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river
Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death’s twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.
V
Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o’clock in the morning.
Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom
Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
Life is very long
Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom
For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
Don't be sorry man, this blog is what keeps everyone sane with all the ESPN garbage we have to hear. This blog is amazing and has been something to really help through these tough times.
On top of everything else, you have to sit next to that 'Cope' d-bag on WTKA. Oh my Christ, I cannot stand that guy. From his endless terrible impressions to dime a dozen movie quotes that he uses, all while acting as though he alone stumbled upon underground classics like Caddyshack. To sum it up, I <3 Brian, I HATE Mark Copeland.
FACT.
Back in August, I'm sure we all said UM would be lucky to be 6-6 or 7-5 this year . After it got to 4-0, I think everyone changed expectations. Wasn't you alone Brian. Keep up the good work. I read this blog every day. Can't handle any other media right now. Was just at lunch and had to listen to Rob Parker blather about RichRod being fired on E*PN. Thankfully this site exists...a sane UM group of fans that supports the TEAM.
Also, I watch the video on a nightly basis now. Hope remains...
GO BLUE
knows all about getting fired. You would think his squeaky voiced ass would be a little more sympathetic. Next time NASA has a one way trip to the moon he and Skip Bayless need to be part of that launch.
... to say: Brian, there is nothing to apologize about. If anything, all your readers should THANK YOU for finding the reasons for the tough times Michigan is going through. You have shown lots of courage in sticking to your guns, whether it's here or in the radio, giving people perspective, helping people see "The Big Picture".
A friend of mine told me a couple of days ago that the reason we get passionate about teams is because we view the teams as our best friend. We treat our team as our best friend, we care for them, we want them to do well, to succeed. But as in life, our best friend might go through a bad time, but we pull for them, help in any way we can. We don't abandon our friend when he/she needs us the most.
The Michigan Wolverines are my best friend in the sports world. We became friends in an unlikely manner; I'm in no way associated with The University of Michigan, other than going to Ann Arbor (from Venezuela) and living there for a year, in 1979. I was 12, I hated football at the time because I didn't understand it. But someone took the time to explain the basics for me, while watching my first ever football game on TV; that game where Notre Dame blockecked what would have been the winning field goal and Michigan lost 12-10. My first Michigan heartbreak.
Then I went to my first game. Indiana @ Michigan and remember like it was yesterday, 0:06 seconds showing in the scoreboard, John Wangler to Anthony Carter... you know the story, I was hooked, forever! So in two games, my new friend had provided me the emotions of a heartbreak and the excitement of a last second victory. I was grateful for that and since then I have been loyal to him for throughout my life. I left Ann Arbor, back to Venezuela, but somehow stayed in touch. First through a Sports Illustrated subscription and later on through a satellite dish, since 1988, and I have been through thick and thin with him... the last 2 years of Bo, Gary Moeller, the Kordel Stewart throw, Lloyd Carr, 1997, Tom Brady, the 2000 Orange Bowl. Too many excitments.
But then came Jim Tressel, the bully from down south and started messing up with my friend, and I just can't abondon my friend now. My friend is hurt, but he is corageous... and it pains me that I won't be able to be among the 110,000 who will be cheering from my friend. But I'll be watching, alone in my apartment. Maybe I'll laugh, maybe I'll cry, but I'll be proud of having The Michigan Wolverines as my best friend. I know my best friend not only will be back, he will be back with a vengeance. Maybe it begins Saturday at noon.
Michigan Wolverines, thanks for the memories, and here's to many more!
GO BLUE!!
“Meeeshigan wins, 27-21. They aren’t even going to try the extra point. Who cares? Who gives a damn?”
Cheer up Brian. You are the man, this blog is amazing. You have more followers and appreciators than you could possibly imagine. We all love Michigan Football, and are hurting because of it, but you have done nothing but enhanced our collective experience 1000 fold. Thank you for making educated viewers and followers out of all of us. You are doing a fantastic job.
I remember waking up early-early for the USA-Portugal match, watching in my bedroom in my apartment, really, really wanting to shout after every goal and barely able to keep it in (neighbors on all sides) ... same thing for USA-Mexico. Unbelievable days, and that was for a team in a country that was ambivalent about international soccer. I can't imagine what it would have been like in Ireland.
Also, screw France. cheaters.
I suspect that some time on Saturday I will be thinking about the 2002 World Cup (and maybe 2010), and not so much about what's happening on the TVs around me.
But I will be ready when next season starts, and I will be cautiously optimistic, because next season there will be hope again. And every now and then, you get a 1997. (Hell, even the Lions made the playoffs.)
I just want to see Pryor get sacked, throw an interception, Denard get a run like in the Western Michigan game and Stonum take a kick return all the way.
Brian,
I still love that Rilo Kelly clip. Don't be sorry. We are all in the boat together. Keep up the good work.
rgb
It's posts like this one and a few others over the past year or so that I hope get linked to Brian's future posts when Michigan football gets back on course. Not that it's going to make tomorrow any easier to take, but memories of the struggle will make the jubilation from the top much more sweeter for those who are not bandwagon supporters.
A Michigan (will) win tomorrow... I still hold on to this belief.
'Cause I Bleed Blue...
op⋅ti⋅mism
[op-tuh-miz-uhm]
–noun
1. a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.
2. the belief that good ultimately predominates over evil in the world.
3. the belief that goodness pervades reality.
4. the doctrine that the existing world is the best of all possible worlds.
Inherently, optimism is unrealistic. But, dammit, it's worth a try. This is why I read this damn blog every day.
This puts my feelings into words perfectly...which kind of weirds me out.
As Mgoblog has grown Brian's excellent writing has influenced a much wider audience than blog readers. I dutifully repeat the perfectly reasoned things i learn from reading this blog to my girlfriend, fans of other teams, and people wearing michigan shirts that i meet on airplanes. Some of these people, no doubt, spread these ideas to their friends.
I dont mean to say this is bad (brian almost always use reason and logic in a way that is uncommon in sports writing), but its weird that one persons opinion and analysis can have such a broad effect on how people think about football.
I really dont have a point here...at least we are united by this, though one more year (or even loosing the opener next year) will tear this fanbase to shreds.
I have to go return some videotapes.
this strikes me as how i'll feel when the clock hits :00
This puts alot of thoughts to words for me.
I fell down and out, and am struggling at the edge of remaining positive. After The Horror I told myself it couldn't' get worse.
It has.
But I'll be there(in person or in spirit), hoping like hell to see the beginnings of the miraculous turnaround of Michigan football.
Every Saturday.
Until it happens.
Pronounced Ahh-Neh-Muh
one quibble - this doesn't feel worse than The Horror to me. i had gone out with some sparty friends of mine the night before that game and said that i thought we'd be terrific, that we might even make a run at a national championship with that particular group of seniors. the expectations were so very high, and they were so thoroughly stomped. to death.
this...well, i think we all knew there'd be some adjustment and growing pains. if i thought this was the end, it would hurt more. but i don't, so it doesn't.
we're winning?
we're losing?
why? because the season, so hard on the psyche, is coming to an end. either mercifully or gloriously. either deserves alcohol in high quantities to celebrate. i might even wear Green Man tomorrow just because i'm THAT EXCITED
I have been suffering with the flu the past 7 days. Let me tell you, the Swine is nothing to joke about. So, when people say that you still have your health, that really, really means something. Relish that thought, let it fill you up:
You still have your health.
(Hey, it was either that or the little song from Dori in "Finding Nemo" - Just keep swimming.)
I attended the wedding of the son of a neighbor down in Savannah a month ago (Delaware State gameday). They chose as their colors brown and pink and their "theme" was pigs (yeah, I know, weird), which was on the invitation, napkins, etc.
The reception was at a friend of his house, and the groom and his friends, all serious foodies, had prepared a ton of great food, including the groom's famous pork BBQ (hence the theme), which was probably the best BBQ I've ever had.
The following day he was hospitalized with swine flu! Talk about taking the theme a little too seriously. And what a way to spend your honeymoon! Talk about a total FML moment.
Hope you get better real soon.
pure gold. these are the types of post that have me hooked to mgoblog.
i only respect other superfans
I think for myself, and the reason I read this blog is because it resonates with me. This street-crack reinforces my beliefs more than it changes any perceptions.
WAwolverine
I was at the IR-GER game with all the Irish lads (one literally ditched his wife and kids for 3 weeks - he was supposed to return after one week - and another who carried a 5-ft tall stuffed Kermit the Frog with him around the world) and everyone hoping, praying, and singing to Niall Quinn, with his pants up to his chin, expecting disappointment but anxiously holding out, with the unexpected rush of exhilaration at Keane's goal. Good memories.
I hope for the same rush after an unexpected victory this weekend, as unlikely as that might be, and regret that I won't be in AA for the game.
Bravo.
I never thought of that hype video as a prediction of this season. I thought of it more as encapsulating that feeling when things are working versus when they are just falling apart. I still think of that song whenever Michigan is doing well.
Sports wouldn't give us the enormous highs of victory if we didn't also take the terrible lows. I would never give up the elation of winning the Notre Dame game so I didn't have to feel like this every weekend during football season. I think that is what makes us all crazy - that we don't give up despite all evidence suggesting we should.
And as much as I've tried mentally tried to crush it, I still harbor the hope that we could win on Saturday. It still lives, a cursed seed in my heart. Hope - I hate you, but I can't live without you.
...Is that I will be there tomorrow. And we will win.
Go Blue.
Have you seen the Yellow Sign?
Thanks for this introspective and well thought preview to the emotions leading up to the game. All stats say Michigan will get crushed, but hope, tradition and toughness still give our boys a chance. Go Blue!
Even after what happened this season, it is still an awesome video. Unfortunately, you could do pretty much the same video next year, except all of the color highlights will be from September and the black and white is everything after.
The video also underscores the beast that is Minor when healthy. Too bad for Minor, the team, and the fans.
I don't see how we pull it out tomorrow, but it sure would make the season if we did.
This is why I check this site 10 times a day.
productivesweatpants.blogspot.com
@prodsweats
My son said to me today, "Um, Mom, you've spent more time logged into MGoBlog this week than I've spent playing Xbox. It's scaring me".
You are today's Mgoblog hero.
You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off?
I am shouting for joy instead of spending the weekend explaining to my kids why it is wrong to say bad words and why they shouldn't be repeating them all day (like happened for Purdue and when the Bengals swept the Steelers last Sunday).
A win tomorrow would make my year (yes, it has been one of those years for me).
Winning and losing can be a close thing. If everything comes together Saturday who knows what can happen.
I'm a little more depressed after reading this now. It's real easy to love the NY Yankee or Michigan Wolverines, particularly when they are winning.
It the great fans that love the Phillies (losingest franchise of all time, all sports - and I am a Phillies fan) or the Northwesterns or Indianas of the college world.
Yeah I want my teams to win - most of all Michigan's football team. But winning is not why I love Michigan football. I guess I am a heretic in that I don't think that winning is the only thing.
This year's team has been interesting to watch. I think that in the coming few years, seeing these players develop, and how the coaches handle them, is going to be a lot of fun.
But regardless, it is still Michigan football, still representing the University, Ann Arbor, and the state.
And to me, that is what matters.
+1,000,000 to this. Michigan football went on an unprecedented run for 40 years. I cannot think of another team in any sport, save the Harlem Globetrotters, that has gone anywhere near that long without a losing season. That includes the Yankees, who sucked for more than a decade from the mid-80s to mid-90s. It includes Florida, USC, Alabama, Ohio State, the Red Wings, the Colts and the Patriots. They have all sucked, and sucked hard, for long periods of time relatively recently.
Losing is part of sports, and it is unavoidable. Anyone demanding our starters be benched, or our GOOD football coach be fired because they could not live up to their IMPOSSIBLY HIGH expectations needs to check themselves.
This is a new chapter. It may end badly. Who the hell knows? That's why we watch the games, and that's the whole point of all this. Time to embrace the horror - bad things happen to good people, politicians are all corrupt, we're all gonna die some day and the Michigan football does, on occasion, end a season with a losing record.
Now let's kick Ohio State's ass.
/rant
"But winning is not why I love Michigan football."
Maybe this should be the motto below the banner for a while.
sgtwolverine.com
I feel so bad for Brandon Minor. I hope he gets to play tomorrow; one last time in the Big House.
I had fun cheering him on, even in the soulcrushing losses.
Thank you Brandon for all of your effort, and truly leaving everything on the field
"Your ship may be coming in, You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below/
Your ship may be coming in, You're weak but not giving in.
And you'll fight it, you'll go out fighting all of them..."
A++++ would read again
great and omniscient Grand Poobah of the WLA
Don't apologize for anything. You just totally encapsulated my emotions.
I just cried a little bit.
Nice work, as always. The season has been rough, but I've liked some of the things I've seen. Michigan will be back.
I can still say I've had a blast this year watching the team grow. My consective game streak continues. And, the fourth quarters of the ND and IU games were special moments that I will take from this season as high moments of my michigan fan experience.
Go Blue. Boo on the Bucks. Party at your house after the win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Winter Olympics at www.justcoverblog.com
God Bless Your Cotton Pickin' Maize & Blue Hearts
I will probably be watching this game alone. Partly because no one else is going to be home tomorrow, but partly because I don't want to have to explain to anyone else my extremely optimistic view throughout the game.
I don't expect us to win the game, but until the clock reads 0:00, I will refrain from complaining and look for the best in every play. Blown up run? Well, at least the receiver laid out that dude on the corner in case it got that far. Missed tackle on Pryor? At least he was forced out of the pocket by some decent pressure and adequate coverage in the secondary.
Bring on the Buckeyes. I'm not afraid.
that expectations were wrong at the start of the year - I just think the team's let a couple get away that they shouldn't have. Alamo wasn't unreasonable even with this defense, we just didn't show up in the 2nd half against Purdue and Illinois. Everything else has been according to form and expectation, from my perspective.
Back to the title, though - the Hanging Ain't Today. That stadium had better be rocking and letting those Buckeyes know what they're in for tomorrow.
Hail to the Victors.
Needs more Morrissey. Even Orson managed to squeeze it in his preview.
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Serious question: Does this depression mean no Wisco offense UFR?
You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off?
Any song that has within its lines: "And it teases you for weeks in it's absence" is the perfect summary of Michigan football this season. You got it right, we just didn't know it then.
Craig Barker || The Hoover Street Rag || Twitter
"The Michigan fanbase: a cynical, Eeyorish bunch even in the best of times."--Doug Gillett
It should read months. (goes back to soft weeping)
You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off?
Posts like this one are what sets MGoBlog apart from other sports blogs with good analysis. Great work.
"When your team is winning, be ready to be tough, because winning can make you soft. On the other hand, when your team is losing, stick by them. Keep believing." - Bo Schembechler
Yeah, but if someone had cut and pasted this and posted it on the message board, it would have get 15 negs within minutes for excessive negativity.
" Yeah, but if someone had cut
Yeah, but if someone had cut and pasted this and posted it on the message board, it would have get 15 negs within minutes for excessive negativity."
especially the part about oliver kahn.
lloyd was better.
That's because no one cares what most of the people on the message board think. If they've built up as much credibility as Brian has, we'd all listen intently and appreciate the honesty.
I really don't even care what I think most of the time. Good post Brian. The victors will rise again, and many a prominant program will be forced to seek refuge from the storm. Go Blue. One time for old times sake. Beat the Buckeyes.