spoiler alert: i linked this
Here in the Midwest we are blessed to have all sorts of great names left over from our pre-Columbian civilizations, for example the Ojibwan word "mishigama" means "great lake" while their word for "dude who speaks normally" (i.e. not French) is "irenwe-wa" which the French wrote down as "illinois" and Sufjan Stevens wrote as "Illinoise."
But lots of Native American names aren't what people called themselves so much as whatever their enemy tribes called them when we asked. Thus a few choice expletives, their meanings now lost to centuries of mouths washed out with soap, remain today as obscure, vowelistic epithets for the modern degenerate inhabitants of those lands. Iowa and Ohio: four-letter words. Q.E.D.
How this works again:
The Iowa tribe were Sioux, but they were named that by Dakotas. It's from the Lakota "ayuhwa" which literally means "gray people." Some translate this as "sleepy folk" but tradition has it that it comes from the Iowa peoples covering their faces with ashes while awaiting the drawn out end game of successful, longtime coaches' careers. Indeed Michigan cheated by dastardly not running I-form ISOs all game, allowing the final score to finally meet the expectations of our perpetual optimists. Duval Wolverine took home two t-shirts. Weirdly people chose 41-17 and 43-17 before the actual score. STOP BELIEVING BRIAN HE PREDICTS SCORES IN FACTORS OF PI!
This Week's Game:
"Ohio" comes from the Iroquois word for the place they dumped their sewage. Michigan will travel down there to play something called simply "The Game."
And on the Line…
As Michael once said before he got too weird: Just beat it.
If you can read this you don't need glasses: One entry per user. First user to choose a set of scores wins, determined by the timestamp of your entry (for my ease I prefer if you don't post it as a reply to another person's score--if you do it won't help or hurt you). If nobody gets the score, this week's prize carries over to the following week's. Deadline for entries is 24 hours before the start of the game (since I won't have time to pull them on gamedays). MGoEmployees and Moderators--anyone else with moderator privileges--are exempt from winning because you could change your timestamp. If you choose the score that Brian published in the official preview and it actually ends up the final score, well, that would be pretty amazing because Brian picks scores like 29-11 all the time. We did not invent the algorithm. The algorithm consistently finds Jesus. The algorithm killed Jeeves. The algorithm is banned in China. The algorithm is from Jersey. The algorithm constantly finds Jesus.This is not the algorithm. This is close.
What my head tells me:
28-24 Ohio. Braxton Miller throws a pick or two but ultimately his rushing ability just proves to be too much. He and Carlos Hyde combine for about 200 yds rushing.
What my heart tells me:
31-28 UM. Gibbons kicks a game winner with about a minute left, and the defense, after having a less than stellar day against Miller, comes up with a big stop.
Michigan - 26
Ohio - 17
U of M: 23
M - 27
O - 10
UM - 36
OSU - 34
MICHIGAN! 38-17--------Guess my first post counts as the $ post so WTH. JUST WIN BABY!
23-19 Good Guys
Though I give credit to the reader who was brave enough to pick OSU. This won't be an easy one, but my heart couldn't bear to predict that the philistines will win.
Ohio 24, Mich 17
Michigan 29 Ohio 27
Awww Hamburgers...I promise I only hit "Save" once.
Michigan - 34
Ohio - 31
Defense steps up but offense has trouble scoring
UM 20 OSU 16
Mich 13 OSU 7
52-24, we win.
42-35 UM on top
Michigan: 26 - Ohio: 24
Something like that.
Get it done.
Optimistic, but true:
U-M 38, Ohio 21
good guys 31 evil 27
I hope I don't receive a tee shirt in the mail...
42-31 Michigan wins
Michigan - 20
(Beat!) Ohio - 14
michigan 24-21.... 2 bootlegs 1 downfield and a beautiful brunette.
Repeat score of last week. DG has another stellar day
247 yards rushing. 6 sacks of Braxton. 18 coolers crapped in. 107,000 silent fry cooks. Screw those sewer dwellers.
A low scoring, defensive slugfest tips Michigan's way.
michigan 19 OSU 16