Dear Diary Tells Us Not to Blow It Comment Count

Seth

harbaugh

"There's a starman waiting in the sky. He'd like to come and meet us,
but he thinks he'd blow our minds."

November is the period when "pretty sure he won't be at San Fran" (neither Harbaugh could make the playoffs this year) can mean "he's gotta come!" So, dear diarists, let's dedicate a post to the starman waiting in the sky. This week resident coaching search guy in the diaries alum96 decided to look into Jim's meteoric rise. He included a table in there of split passing/rushing stats for offense and defense. I've taken this opportunity to recreate those as S&P+ ranks (total yardage ranks in parens) because there's a discrepancy in the passing:

Season Coach Record Rush O Pass O Rush D Pass D
2006 Stanford Singletary 1-11 105th (115) 107th (95) 94th (117) 47th (60)
2007 Stanford Harbaugh 4-8 37th (102) 88th (70) 86th (77) 84th (84)
2008 Stanford Harbaugh 5-7 6th (19) 15th (103) 104th (77) 99th (83)
2009 Stanford Harbaugh 8-5 12th (11) 7th (70) 89th (55) 104th (98)
2010 Stanford Harbaugh 12-1 30th (17) 2nd (29) 24th (19) 30th (16)
2011 Stanford Shaw 11-2 18th (18) 10th (22) 32nd (3) 14th (73)
2014 Michigan Hoke 4-5 45th (67) 70th (105) 6th (25) 44th (36)

Major disagreements between S&P and the standard stats: the passing game in 2008 and 2009 (bolded) was extremely efficient, just not used very often. Thus total yardage looked awful, but in terms of what happened when they passed, it was very good even before you could explain it away as Andrew Luck. This is a common theme for Harbaugh reclamation projects; the former quarterback is the master of the pick-your-spots passing game. This is also a lesson in tempo—Stanford would plod along, depressing total yardage.

Let's not do this again until my find-on-page searches for "Michigan" don't have to progress past MSU and several directionals to get to ours.

Hokespeech Generator. A guy named MeanJoe07 has apparently found something on the internet where you input the text of Brady's press conferences, add a few nouns (like balsamic vinegar) and a name (like Rhonda Jones) and get back something that makes sense only to people used to digesting soylent blue. The diary is too weird to be of much interest, but the same guy has been responding to comments all over the site with his tool, with quite disconcerting results.

Etc. Basketball back wallpaper. Michigan is probably not going to a bowl game. Best and Worst. Inside the box score. Wolverines in the NFL, and NBA/NHL/etc., when are we getting the former quarterback who coaches an NFL team?

Best of the Board

PUT IT ON THE MAP

map

A startup that makes realtime maps for local festivals and such is letting us use their software to give the MGoCommunity a more functional method of sharing their spots with each other on gameday. Events around campus, best watering holes, open tailgates for MGoReaders, where the band warms up, etc. all go on the crowd-sourced map. If you want to organize a meet-n-greet or game-watching party in your town, go ahead and add it to the map (it'll be off camera for those in Evanston).

[Jump for some stuff I believed in as a kid]

YES BRIAN WE ARE MUGGLES

Vincent Smith explains the thing about Muggles that some of us recognized right off:

I had read about some people being upset that athletes use the term muggles and I wanted to clear it up that we (or at least the players I know) do not do it to be mean or cause divisions.

I don't know who came up with it but we thought it was funny because we all you the fans and us the players represent all the same colors and we are all on the same team but just different people.  We all bleed blue so we never thought it might hurt peoples feelings because I love Harry Potter I even went to the theme park back home that's how much I love it.  Muggles are not even the bad word in Harry Potter but I don't want that to excuse it if there is confusion.

We are not trying to separate ourselves or be superior its a lot of stress and long hours and jokes get us through.

I was a camp counselor in my early college summers, and since I had the youngest boys, I used to read fantasy books, including Potter, to my campers every night before they went to bed.

There's a balance in good kids stories between teaching them something new, and reinforcing their fantasies (e.g. the illusion that they/the hero is the center of the universe), and Rowlings is close to the latter extreme. The lessons aren't really what's important I ascribe to the C.S. Lewis school on fantasy, which is backed up strongly by the modern child psychologists: the point of it is to expand the mind's capacity, not to fill it with things. Growing your imagination as a kid is what lets you see things like Michigan football's current state and believe in long-term solutions. It's where your capacity for hope comes from. Adults are actually capable of getting that same effect out of fantasy, but we're way harder to trick into suspending reality. A huge special effects budget can do the trick. So can a story nested in a story.

In the far away [from our topic] kingdom of children's fantasy literature, Harry Potter is total pop, but the one bit of lesson in there has to do with the exact problem Michigan had with Dave Brandon. In Potter, what separates the good guys from the bad guys are their competing ideologies of what to do with the non-magic folk. Good guys believe themselves part of a world that belongs to the normal folk. Bad guys believe the muggles are only useful in how they can service the wizard folk. Mealer is using "muggles" correctly, and also connoting it exactly how the Potter bad guys do.

ETC. Jim Harbaugh on Saved by the Bell. Jim Harbaugh for Governor. What-if we kept Mo?

Your Moment of Zen:

WH. Play this in the background.

Comments

CRISPed in the DIAG

November 7th, 2014 at 11:12 AM ^

I think the wounds were still fresh from the comments he made about Michigan's academic standards compared to Stanford.  And we're a little more forgiving about it as we while away our days in Bolivia.

ijohnb

November 7th, 2014 at 11:37 AM ^

not how I remember it.  I remember people wanting him to come to Michigan badly, but using the "academic standards" business as their out to not have to commit and be dissapointed.  If we would have hired him not one person would have mentioned it.

WolverBean

November 7th, 2014 at 2:05 PM ^

I think you're conflating two groups of people. There were some who really did want Harbaugh, and felt spurned, and acted haughty about it. Then there were some who really did not want Harbaugh, mostly because they thought he was an arrogant ass who dared to besmirch the holy name of Michigan with comments about academics that, some felt, he would not have made six months before while Bo still lived. (Remember, too, that these were the halcyon days of Mike Hart, most beloved of all football players among those who were too young to remember Woodson and who didn't yet know about Dilithium. Hart called out Harbaugh for his comments, for many, it was enough that there was a line, Hart was on one side of it, Harbaugh on the other, and they wanted to be on Hart's side of the line.)

Many in this latter group have now reversed course. Recent events have made having an asshole as a coach seem like a positive instead of a negative. Harbaugh has gone on to yet greater success than he had attained at the time of his comments. And in a world where the term "student athlete" continues to be more and more oxymoronic, and in which a new university president has explicitly made mention of the need to properly balance academics and athletics, Harbaugh's callout regarding athletes not having the opportunity to pursue the academics they wanted to pursue is now actually a mark in his favor.

But whether or not they've changed their minds since, there really were people who didn't want Harbaugh last time around, and not just for reasons of jealousy.

Stay.Classy.An…

November 7th, 2014 at 10:35 AM ^

It's weird what a good offensive line and great play calling can do for a team and a QB. With all those roll-outs, options, and draw plays, I thought I was watching the 80s version of JFF. If Michigan is able to land Harbaugh, I have no doubt he can turn us into a contender! GO BLUE! 

LSAClassOf2000

November 7th, 2014 at 11:04 AM ^

I'll put it this way - it's being watched now. Knowing where it came from now, use of the generator will be discouraged heavily (look at it like this - you can't post diaries if you're in Bolivia, and caved users can reply to whatever they want and you won't see it) moving forward because, yeah, it resulted in a diary that makes more sense read upside down and while heavily medicated, and even then not much sense. 

MeanJoe07

November 7th, 2014 at 11:36 AM ^

Is there really an actual generator?!?  Well. . . I could tell you guys what happened, but you wouldn't believe it. To punish myself for allowing this to happen I am going to put myself on probabtion by renaming myself BalsamicVinegar for a time.  This is all pretty weird and amazing...so not sure if I should apologize or....yea.  Go Blue!?

MeanJoe07

November 7th, 2014 at 2:23 PM ^

The Hoke-esque quotes are me 100% off the top of my head.  Impressions are kind of a hobby of mine.  The  Balsamic Rhonda Jones stuff is my buddy who thought he'd spend an afternoon screwing around on my account with some bizarre stuff after LSA2000 made the joke he should create a diary and its part of an inside joke between him and me.  As crazy as it is...it's kind of impressive especially since it was off the top of his head as well.  He is a improv guy, but not very funny.

LSA91

November 7th, 2014 at 10:40 AM ^

I don't begrudge Mealer for the muggle post at all. That's how I'd expect the players to feel - they obviously like and believe in Brady, so it has to be frustrating to see a bunch of students and fans calling for him to be fired, accusing him of being incompetent or worse on player safety, etc. And I assume the coaches and the players are building a bad news Bears "let's show them all" mentality, because a Meatballs mentality, while more accurate, isn't really the way to coach.

So assuming that's the way Mealer feels, I think the only question is whether he should share his feelings on twitter. I don't have a problem with it - IMHO the best response is "yes, EM, we get why you're frustrated. Here's why we're frustrated."

Yo_Blue

November 7th, 2014 at 10:40 AM ^

I love how Harbaugh used his TE (mostly Kattus, who was a friggin beast) and his running backs in the passing game.  He also looked downfield even when his WR didn't get much separation.

I remember the Harbaugh days, but I forgot how creative he got with his running and last second pitches.  Great video - thanks!

GoBLUinTX

November 7th, 2014 at 11:42 AM ^

Bo Schembechler three yards and a cloud of dust.  Can't have that, need flash and pizzazz these days, need the spread with a QB reading the defense, should he keep, should he give and should he run, should he pitch.  Punctuated with quick over the middle passes hitting the receiver in stride.  The occasional deep pass to keep the D honest.  What do those old timers know any way?

SeattleChris

November 7th, 2014 at 11:46 AM ^

Harbaugh, Elliot, Kolesar, Morris.. Winning B10 Championships and losing Rose Bowls. Bo screaming at the refs and me yelling at the TV with my Dad in our neighbor's basement at 5pm on New Years Day. Thanks for the memories.

micheal honcho

November 7th, 2014 at 12:00 PM ^

As a guy who watches ALOT of H.S. Football its important to note that there are 2 kinds of coaches. Those for whom its all about THEM and those for whom its all about the TEAM.

I am constantly amazed at these HS coaches trying to run multiple formation systems with sequental reads and shit. WTF!! You are the definition of delusional. You have these kids that you cannot recruit for 2 yrs at the varsity level and you want to make it as difficult as possible on them for what?? Oh yeah, so you can show everyone what a "genius" you are and MAYBE..just MAYBE get that one kid with athletic talent enough to do so into a Div 1 program.

You justify you complex offensive scheme by saying "thats what the colleges run so thats what they want to see kids in". So you basically tell the other 35-60 kids on your varsity team to go F themselves. This is all about kid X who MIGHT be good enough to get into Whatever U.

Bo coached for the TEAM. If he had Johnny Wangler and Anthony Carter he ran play action I formation power and beat them over the top. If he had a lesser O-line he ran option stuff.

Watch the MHSAA playoffs this year and see how many teams win their division running a Michigan T(power T, Dead T). Those coaches realize that they can't choose their talent, have a limited time to teach a system and therefore use the system that can deliver the best results in the fastest time with a wide variation of talent. Those coaches are NOT concerned with getting that ONE kid into a big program(thereby getting themselve attention from the coaches/staff etc.) They are concerned with whats BEST for the TEAM, the TEAM, the TEAM!!

That is what I want in ANY coach at ANY level.

Owl

November 7th, 2014 at 12:39 PM ^

Don't fool yourself about the muggles thing. I knew plenty of athletes and they absolutely meant it in a derogatory way when they said it. Keep in mind that our athletes tend not to be the most sophisticated students on campus, so I doubt his point was as nuanced as you want it to be. 

Umich97

November 8th, 2014 at 10:20 AM ^

It's definitely derogatory...and IMO shows a lack of leadership, or at least good leadership. I understand the pride that comes with being an athlete and all the hard work that goes into it, but at the end of the day, athletes are entertainers and if the product they're producing doesn't interest their fans/customers, eventually they stop paying for the product. Sure, college athletics is a little different, because the fans often have a personal tie to the university and/or players, but it the product isn't that good and then the entertainers start complaining about the customers....well, that's not a good recipe for success in any venture. IMO, with good leadership in place, this type of stuff never develops within the ranks.

maize-blue

November 7th, 2014 at 1:11 PM ^

My hope and want is that the AD and head coach situation is resolved as quicky as possible so that the new guys can come in and start working on turning around the program. I'm afraid that it will indeed take some time and the program will slowly bleed from many small cuts and be a lifeless pulp when the new HC takes over.

gmoney41

November 7th, 2014 at 1:53 PM ^

Jim Harbaugh on Saved by the Bell??  I missed that one growing up, but I did see a fantastic performance alongside Terry Bradshaw in the final episode of the Adventures of Brisco County Jr.  If someone can imbed some of those clips, they are priceless.

RJMAC

November 8th, 2014 at 12:53 AM ^

Jim Harbaugh was arguably the best all around QB Michigan ever had. He could scramble/run and pass accurately. A smart player who played great in big games too.

Procumbo

November 9th, 2014 at 2:14 PM ^

Vincent Smith sounds like a well-meaning guy, but his explanation of Muggles doesn't make much sense. He's basically saying it doesn't mean anything at all. Seems like it means exactly what it sounds like, and what it means in the book: athletes are special and everyone else isn't. Now if things weren't already so strained I doubt people would be so worked up about a Harry Potter reference, but it isn't just some sort of misunderstanding. Mealer and others meant to be dismissive and people are pissed about it.