Dear Diary Isn't Up to Urban's Standards

Why yes there is a story behind this photo:

"I took this picture at the pre-Super Bowl NFL Tailgate Party last week of my brother and Urban Meyer. My brother's hat was backwards but he twisted it around as I set up for the pic. Thought you might enjoy."

--Jared of Sports Power Weekends

As you may have heard on National Signing Day Urban Meyer inked a lot of five-stars (and poached as many three-stars from his conference rivals), then rounded on the rest of the B1G for not faring so well. MaizeNBlueInDC took to the Scout rankings to confirm, compiling the recruits by state to demonstrate how each conference was doing versus its footprint. He starts with a chart that seems to suggest the Big Ten recruited just like every other major conference except the SEC which I graph:

The parts I faded are the top two teams from each conference according to Scout's team rankings, respectively Bama/Texas A&M, UCLA/Wash(!), Mich/OSU, Okla/Texas, Clemson/FSU, and Rutgers/Cincy. That's what Urbz is whining about; he and we finished with the 1 and 2 teams to Scout, and the fourth Big Ten team doesn't appear until two spots above Kentucky. Course I'm not sure what Meyer expects to say at the coaches meeting except "Stop being MAC coaches promoted to your Peter Principle limit." For QED purposes, a reminder of Big Ten coaching hires since 2007:

• 2007: Saban/Tressel acolyte who turned Cincy into a BCS team, LSU's DC, Mack Brown's recruiting guy, Indiana's OC who coached Ball State before Hoke.
• 2008: WVU's head coach who invented the spread 'n shred
• 2009: Eastern Kentucky's head coach (hired in '08 under grooming plan)
• 2010: Bob Stoop's longtime OC
• 2011: SDSU's head coach, NIU's head coach
• 2012: Two-time national championship winner at Florida, Toledo's head coach (CBs under Tressel), a Belichick assistant
• 2013: Utah State's head coach, Kent State's head coach (WRs under Tressel)

Recently the SEC has taken to hiring rising star high school coaches who spend a year at Arkansas State, but they've also pilfered Bielema and hired a string of successful coordinators and guys who turned mid-majors into Top 10 teams, and, you know, former national championship winners who tried the NFL because their NCAA dynasties were no longer challenging.

Returning to the Diary of the Week at hand, the rest of the charts use the state data to show things like the SEC has a third of the nation's talent while Big Ten states accounted for a sixth—every other conference is less than us. In the comments turd furguson charted where the schools line up in ranking vs avg prospect rank to see if they're just hauling in more kids period. That also makes for easy graphing and general usefulness so:

In other takes on meeting Meyer's standards, here's EGD with a list of Urban-approved, non-"Don't be a Peters'd MAC coach" tips for Big Ten coaches heading out on the recruiting trail.

Basketball, the What's Leftening: Two of the three remaining tough games for basketball were just played. Our Big Ten opponents all have enough rough stuff still to play that everyone's expected to end up 14-4.

Etc. A better-late-than-never wrap-up of things Brian said on the D.C. trip—if you ask your local alumni chapter nicely (and you don't live in a crappy, unvisitable place like Dallas) you too can get a visit. The weekly LSAClassof2000 stats thing is a Geographic survey of freshmen in the Bentley database that's mostly useless if you don't take out the walk-ons—I had a hell of a time with that same problem when I did the historical team makeup from Ohio (the yellow part) graph for 2011 HTTV. Free throw attempts = EFFORT (and refs but mostly EFFORT!) A made-up backstory for rapture guy (the guy who reached ecstasy in that one gif); the real story will be on these pages soon courtesy of Ace. Lacrosse opponents primer. Please give details. Blockhams was pretty funny.

Requested: A diary on Michigan's ski team, which is club but I'm told is pretty good this year and has Bob Thomas's son on it (and competes in a division called "Michigan Men").

[After the jump: the winner of last week's "Find me a Game…Stauskus lookalike from the Fab Five" contest, and some stuff from the board.]

GAME…CWEBB

In last week's edition I asked the readers to find me a Fab Five version of Game…Blouses and I am impress. Rules: he's at least got to be hanging from the rim, and should preferably have a calm, "You just lost to Prince" look on his face. Contestants with my favorites on the top row:

I think the C-Webb vs Ohio State one (via Ryan Dunn over e-mail and Mish Mash in the comments) is the clear victor (100 points to you sirs) but Jimmy King could be the thing Prince was copying, and Glen Rice soaring through a midnight sun is pageant-worthy.

Best of the Board

CASTING CALL FOR MGOBLOG: THE MOVIE

Based on a true story, MGoBlog the Movie is a heartwarming tale of how an internet community banded together through the darkest years of their football program. When Lloyd Carr (played by Robert DeNiro) retires leaving only Mike DeBord as a potential heir, Michigan fans are sent on a hilarious romp through the ranks of college football coaches, three awful seasons of transition, and then yet another coaching search, discovering through it all that 2005 wasn't so bad afterall and that the most important thing is having each other and gifs. Starring Johnny Depp as Brian, Jon Cryer as Ace, Robin Williams as Rich Rodriguez, the kid from Goonies as Heiko, Kurt Russell as Les Miles, and all the way down at the bottom I'm either Seth Rogan or Jeff Ross.

SOMETHING SURPRISING THIS WAY COMES

A freshman is about to get his room assignment and it's not the dorm you think! (Or something—probably nothing but let's all speculate about a nebulous surprise from a high schooler's tweet).

ETC. If you're ready to talk basketball after that, go here. I'm not there yet. Magnus wants to know your favorite team traditions (for those playing the sport)—needs cooler responses than "we have dinner together" and "we wear ties to school on Friday." Ohio State has issued a press release for people who don't get the punchline of the Turtle Story. In related news Seth of MGoBlog has issued an apology for anyone confused as to the veracity of the McDonalds story, concedes that there really isn't a point to "Will Peach Pie Do?" except to laugh at people who don't get it, and admits that the sound made when you sat down on the whoopie cushion was not actually you passing gas.

Your Moment of Zen:

HT Michigan248. Now go vote for Denard!