Dear Diary is Back in the Car Again
Before I forget, go draft your FreeRoll team for tomorrow—if you finish in the top 12 you get legal tender, and you don't have to give up any legal tender for it. If enough people don't sign up we don't get to keep doing these.
Okay so maybe I'm still a bit shaken from encountering a real life Tyrannosaur …
…who's not even allowed to enter the draft, but the thought of Lewan leaving for the NFL felt like being stuck in the middle of Jurassic Park with nobody but your 8-year-old brother for protection.
"That's not what I'm gonna do." –Taylor Lewan
So yes I saw new starters at 4 of 5 OL positions and turned into a hyperventilating girl—like you didn't! Thank Denard for Dr. Grant. I have no idea why he thinks a stereoscopic scavenger with an occipital lobe 8 times the size of its cognitive center who's related to visually acute crocodiles and birds would have movement-based vision (maybe it's the frog DNA?) but if I'm gonna walk the length of an island of angry therapods I'm very happy to have this man along one more time. That sentiment was passed on personally by justingoblue and megangoblue, at Crisler. Pretty pictures with the cool story bro&sis but guys I'm feeling really warm and fuzzy inside.
How warm and fuzzy? 1.64 degrees centigrade fuzzy. That's the heat generated by the burning of calories in running 4,495 yards according the post-drunk maths of Blazefire. Here's another way to visualize it:
In case you were wondering, yes West Virginia fans are going to boycott everything because Denard used handoffs for the final stretch. LSAClassOf2000 added some perspective on the Denardian career by the percentage of Michigan's total offense he accounted for. Roughly, from the time he was a freshman, half of Michigan's yards were his.
In other things you ought to read, Ron Utah did a comparison of the 2011 and 2012 seasons, concluding the Denard arm was a big deal. Here's some of the things I pulled from that:
|Fumble Recoveries||20 of 25 (80%)||11 of 22 (50%)|
Surprisingly Michigan improved on 2011's unprecedented ownership of 4th down, converting 69% of our 13 attempts (up from 59% in '11), and holding opponents to 43% (not far off the 38% of last year).
Etc. I forgot to front-page Mathlete this week; amazingly there were two plays that swung the game more than Tyrannosaurus Clowney making a goat disappear. Combining the sagarin and UPI rankings makes Michigan the top football-basketball combo school in the nation (Florida, Notre Dame and Louisville come after). I'm guessing Ohio State doesn't count for that. The Blockhams was great this week, though the text still needs to be way more succinct—not that I of all people can really talk.
[Lewan photoshopping and really smart raptors, after the jump]
Best of the Board
LEWAN PHOTOSHOP THREAD LEWAN PHOTOSHOP THREAD AAHHH
Staying in school means you get to direct the band apparently. Also directing the band means we get a photoshoppable image of Lewan again.
This winner is courtesy of wlvrine, and it sparked a lovely Drkboarder gif you absolutely must see. Drk made another one with Lewan as Bob Ross (Joy of Painting guy) and wins diarist of the week even though he didn't write a diary because it is time we recognize this man's greatness.
THE GREAT DANCING SCATBACK
And speaking of great giffers, chunkums saw Ace's promised Norfleet dancing gif and raised him a drumset. The result:
Etc. Somebody put names of dudes behind the OL starters, and none of them are "Recycling Bin." BKFinest, who is not in Bolivia anymore, sends his love from there anyway. Anyone who's read Ready Player One while on a Madden kick has had this dream where they're playing videogames on a jumbotron, but apparently this can actually happen. Derrick Green posts are now numbered.
Your Moment of Zen:
"When you really take the time to think and sit down and turn your phone off and think to yourself about all the things that are best for you, there was no doubt in my mind that I have to return to the University of Michigan and Team 134, and help lead this team as a senior."