Crashing Out Comment Count

Brian

6/28/2009 – USA 2, Brazil 3 – Confederations Cup Runners Up

Note: yeah, this is Off Topic, but 1) this is also way more interesting than anything else going on at the moment, 2) I reserve the right to wander off the reservation in the hard offseason, and 3) I'm slightly tired of recruiting-recruiting-recruiting. Aren't you? Coming up tomorrow: Wednesday Recruitin'!

clint-bronze-ball

Here's Clint Dempsey holding the "bronze ball" bestowed on the FIFA-approved third-best player at the Confederations Cup. Here is a brief list of the folks Dempsey finished in front of:

  • That white guy on South Africa
  • Italy(!)
  • Spain(!!!)
  • Everyone on Brazil not named Kaka or Fabiano

That is an impressive array of players to beat out. And yet Dempsey looks like he's auditioning for The Hangover 2 or Fully, Completely Baked. This is because the United States has just found out that there is a way to lose to Brazil 3-2 and feel agonized, that, yes, there is such a thing as crashing out for you who thought yourself immune.

Sitting there in the aftermath of Brazil's comeback was one of the strangest feelings I've had as a sports fan. To demonstrate: I was going to put an adjective on "comeback" there and considered both "stunning" and "inevitable." Words literally fail. Maybe there's something in German for it. Schiessenkopffrauballsdammit: the feeling you have when the incredibly improbable thing you dreaded and feared comes to pass, just like you knew it would. (See: 2005 Ohio State game.)

That was the nature of this deeply bizarre tournament. Bludgeoned and discarded in the first games, the United States retroactively justified my friend's terror that the Honduras game would not end with a result and that this would surely put the Nats in an honest-to-god World Cup qualification dogfight—in CONCACAF! Late in the dire Brazil drubbing, another friend asked me what we should do and I succumbed to pure reactionary talk-radio blithering: "Fire Bradley," I muttered, and said no more.

From that moment on the US put together the most brilliant two-and-a-half game run in probably their entire history: 3-0 over Egypt, 2-0 over Spain, and 2-0 over Brazil. Yeah, they were on the back foot for about 60 minutes of the Spain game, but dos a cero is dos a cero. If only soccer finals were 45 minutes long. (While we're at it: if only soccer finals were 45 minutes long and banned people fluent in Portuguese.)

They are not, and we are left with our schiessenkopffrauballsdammit.

------------------------------

I don't have any other soccer team. The nearest MLS team are in Chicago and Columbus and Toronto, none of which I can root for on geographical principle. If I was to pick up one of the big four in the EPL I might as well just go the whole nine yards, buy a Yankees hat, USC jersey, Duke shorts, and Lakers shoes, and shoot myself. 

But what's the point of rooting for Fulham? Good job lads, you didn't get sent to purgatory… this year. European soccer is structured such that you can either pick the Yankees or the Toledo Mud Hens. The Mud Hens have as much of a chance at winning the World Series as Wigan has of winning the Premiership. But Wigan fans don't seem to mind. Win some games, lose some games, sing about Emile Heskey emerging from a radioactive lagoon during a terrible thunderstorm, end of story let's get a pint.

On the other hand, even the lowliest American franchise has aspirations to greatness. A few years ago the Penguins were awful enough to get like three consecutive top-three picks. The Patriots were a laughingstock for most of their existence. The Spurs were some random team in San Antonio before Tim Duncan arrived. The Cardinals won the World Series despite being like four games above .500. Everyone can strive. Even Clippers fans eagerly await the day Donald Sterling dies. "Look at the Blackhawks!" they say before returning to Bill Simmons' annual fantasy football draft-stravaganza. This is a blessing and a curse.

The curse section is provided Brian Phillips on the outstanding Run of Play:

I'm more interested in seeing the run through this tournament, and the Spain game above all, as something to celebrate for its own sake, without thinking about next year or whether it's safe to nudge up my expectations. I'm sure I'm not alone in that, but partly thanks to Bradley's understandable emphasis in his postgame remarks, so much of the coverage has skirted the "what does this mean?" question that I've spent most of the last 24 hours wanting to take an anchorperson by his lapels and scream "We #$*%ing BEAT SPAIN! Doesn't that matter more than abstract 'potential'?"

Yes, because it probably doesn't mean much in the scheme of things. Spain and Brazil showed their quality, and while it's great the US beat one and took the other to the limit, what that says is that the US can scrap with teams better than they are. The World Cup group is going to have between one and three teams better than the Nats, and there will be scrapping.

This is foreign to the national state of mind. The United States does not scrap except maybe in rhythmic gymnastics and kayaking and other things dreamed up by commies trying to get up to par in gold medals. When the US decided to get super-serious about soccer, they dreamed up "Project 2010," which was supposed to "ensure the US Men's National team was a legitimate threat to win the World Cup by 2010," emphasis mine because WTF? Win? We are Americans, and it doesn't matter if we have the resources of the Kansas City Royals. We have Yankee dreams.

So what the Brazil game was was a chance. A stupid, improbable chance built on equal parts grit, skill, and astounding luck; a chance to slay two giants back-to-back and scramble up to the pinnacle of world football for somewhere between sixty seconds and a day before the ground gave way and it was back to Grenada and Haiti. So I appreciate *#$&ing beating Spain but also feel like Dempsey above, holding a trophy he had no right to expect and thinking of what might have been.

Bullets

  • So a major reason this post exists was the large influx of soccer emails into the inbox. Aaron Rennie's contribution: "The first half was like the best blowjob you've had in your life; the second was discovering you got it from a dude." Funny, but it's not like I started questioning which team I was rooting for later. I have my cool group of local friends because a couple people knew I liked soccer and needed someone to watch it with and joined up with us; I feel I owe Arriaga II, God of Soccer, a tribute.
  • You know, I had bought into Harkes' gratuitously negative take on Dempsey in the Egypt match—when I deigned to tweet about the 3-0 win, I mentioned Dempsey had been "terrible" or "awful" or something like that—but then I re-watched the first half a couple days ago and saw him set up the US's two best scoring opportunities of the first half with incisive passes. There really needs to be a Nats UFR.
  • …which might fall to me, actually. I'm seriously considering starting up a USMNT blog with a couple friends (so that the burden on me is not extensive enough to hamper MGoActivities, of course). Name suggestions welcome.
  • I wasn't thrilled with Bocanegra at left back but that might have something to do with the fact he was coming off injury and playing against Spain and Brazil; he was clearly less overmatched than Bornstein. Bocanegra-Demerit-Onyewu-Spector/Cherundolo should be the backline going forward, with Hedjuk around to come on as a lead-protecting substitute and all around insane hairy guy.
  • Bornstein, meanwhile, might see his spot yoinked by Edgar Castillo, the Texican left back who appears frozen out of Los Douchebags' plans. That would make the USA 2/2 on grabbing newly-eligible defectors.
  • Argh Rossi.
  • Actually read some insane Big Soccer criticisms in the wake of the first couple matches directed at Howard because "the book" on him had become clear: shoot miraculous 30-yarders. When that's all they can say about you…
  • What happens when Ching is available? Davies ran around and did some stuff and scored an Eckstein goal and had that gorgeous assist to Donovan. But Jozy's not much of a holding or linkup forward right now. He is a beast who is fast and huge and could conceivably function as a Charlie Davies who ate a steroid-laced power mushroom. Ching and Jozy worked very well together before Ching's injury, and then you get to bring Davies' pace off the bench.
  • Similarly, once Edu and Jermaine Jones start pushing for central midfield slots the competition will be as brutal as it gets on the US National Team. Clark might get pushed to the bench even after turning in a very strong Confederations Cup; he's not likely to go without a fight.
  • Side benefit:  you've seen the last of Kljestan against teams outside of CONCACAF. (Or I'll die.)
  • Jozy watch: Villareal just sold Nihat. He was injury-plagued and not a consistent starter, but maybe that opens up space for Altidore to be a consistent substitute?
  • While we're at it, Dan Levy has an excellent article at TSB on ESPN's impact on the Future we're trying so hard not to consider at the moment.

Comments

Bronco648

June 30th, 2009 at 5:35 PM ^

Canada is a world power in the sport of rowing. Does the US even have a rowing team?

Yes, the US does have a rowing team (you were apparently too lazy to Search). My best friend's brother-in-law holds the title of World Champion (as does his scull-mate). Not only does the US participate, we're pretty good too. How could you be a fan and not know this?

Seth

June 30th, 2009 at 10:56 PM ^

...sports articles I ever remember reading was in the early '90s. The author noted that Generation Y was playing a TON of soccer (it's when the phrase "Soccer Mom" started getting big in the U.S.)

I think soccer leagues in many states got more kids than Little League, and certainly beat out peewee football. Granted, a lot of kids left the sport in middle school, but still, there were a great many talents of my generation identified early and sent on to "travel" teams. Voila: Landon Donovan.

I haven't stayed up on U.S. soccer since then, but I would imagine, just from passing so many Saturday soccer matches in so many states across the country, that this trend has continued. Even in the big football states of the south, a rising Latin population is making soccer a bigger deal for Americans. Still, this Middle Class soccer phenomenon has grown the sport to an umpteenth degree among Americans. As Brian pointed out, for many, it's just having a good soccer match to watch that's in the way. Look how much we exploded when the women's team got excellent a decade ago! Look at all the coverage this run made.

However, the big difference -- the HUUUUUGE difference, between the U.S. and most of the rest of the world as far as soccer is that for us, it's not the sport of the poor. There are a bunch of reasons for this. For one, we have basketball, another game that doesn't require much expense to play, especially because urban areas in America provide plenty of free courts and instruction for young people. There is no massive complex of soccer leagues for inner-city kids like there is basketball. There also isn't the same level of institutional support from the school system. Also, being poor in America isn't like being poor in many other countries -- we have so many athletic institutions here that if you live in a poor area, odds are that someone has approached you at one time or another about joining a team. Benefactors in America pour billions into after-school programs. Schools that can barely afford books can still get helmets and pads supported by the community for the high school football team.

Vanderlyle

July 3rd, 2009 at 11:31 PM ^

So was this a point making process or a delicately worded string of subtly worded insults...?

And also, in saying that the influx of latino players makes baseball no longer an american sport, you said 50 to 60 percent of hockey players come from Canada. When according to MLB.com only 29.2 percent of MLB players were born outside of the United States.

Yes Ohio sucks but was saying haha red wings suck relevant to a soccer topic?

PS.Did ANYONE need a glowing puck to follow the game?

GoBlueBrooklyn

June 30th, 2009 at 4:18 PM ^

Long time reader of the blog, never have had a desire to comment, but as a Michigan alum and a huge supporter of Liverpool FC and the USMNT, it is great to see this here. I fell in love with the game in 1994, my final year at UM and the World Cup year when they hosted games at the Silverdome. My interest in Liverpool was cemented when I watched Liverpool's Robbie Fowler score the fastest hat trick in premiership history against Arsenal that autumn on old school satellite PPV at a bar in Ann Arbor; I was hooked on the player and the club. With Liverpool having a working class history of its own (one that reminded me of the blue-collar sports fans and idols I grew up loving in Detroit), I was hooked on the club. I began watching and following the game that year and 15 years later Liverpool and the Wolverines are my two great sporting passions, followed only by the US Men's team and then, last but not least, Red Wings playoff hockey (which is the only kind I see living out of state).

Anyway, the moment that hooked me on Liverpool forever:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXHEtpT3UL4

If you're looking to adopt a team, any Michigan fan will find a lot of familiarity in Liverpool FC; History, historic championships, legendary managers, great players and a club with heart and soul. And if the entire stadium singing You'll Never Walk Alone isn't quite the same as a marching band inspired version of The Victors, well, it's as close as you'll come in any professional sport.

The soccer bashing in America (and in the comments here) are cliché and uninformed, but I really admire your voice as a writer and humorist and hope you'll continue to speak your mind about the national team. I don't like golf or baseball, but I don't waste my energy pissing on the games. Celebrate what you love, learn about what you don't understand and in both cases be gracious. Great post.

dex

June 30th, 2009 at 4:22 PM ^

"I don't like golf or baseball, but I don't waste my energy pissing on the games. Celebrate what you love, learn about what you don't understand and in both cases be gracious. Great post."

This is pure win.

I will never understand why people care, at all, about what other people enjoy watching.

noahtahl

June 30th, 2009 at 4:26 PM ^

adu, not edu, at 5'6",140 lbs with 5.0 40 speed, will never be a force in international play.what is totally lost in this dempsey crying saga is the reason why. his mark on the game winning corner scored. terrible defense, goal, led to embarrasing sob session. us wins next confederation cup. you heard it here first.yours in knowing, noah.

baorao

June 30th, 2009 at 4:31 PM ^

actually a blessing in disguise since the defending Confederations Cup champion has never won the following World Cup.

Sucks to be Brazil.

Seth

June 30th, 2009 at 8:31 PM ^

As long as we're drifting into OT tangents, I figured I'd do a little diddy on your mention of the NHL draft:

"A few years ago the Penguins were awful enough to get like three consecutive top-three picks."

That's partly right. Another way to put it is:

"A few years ago the Penguins dumped every player making more than $1 million from their roster, giving fans a choice between rooting for geriatric Lemieux (on the three days he played all year) or top forward Rico Fata. The Pittsburgh faithful understandably abandoned ship, and Lemieux used that as his prima facie evidence for the necessity of a salary cap.

The tanking netted the Penguins 2nd overall pick Evgeni Malkin (when the 1st overall was Ovechkin), and then after the lockout, when they had just as many wins as the Red Wings, their tanked season netted Lemieux the most coveted prize in sports since Cleveland magically won the rights to LeBron James.

The following year, after the kids looked too raw and a veteran spending spree ended like the 2008 Detroit Tigers, Lemieux held Fleury in the minors while watching the most stupendously bad goaltending in hockey set the Penguins up for -- whoop -- yet another 2nd overall pick."

All told it was actually four in four:

2003: 1st overall - Marc-Andre Fleury (traded up from 3rd)
2004: 2nd overall - Evgeni Malkin
2005: 1st overall - Sidney Crosby
2006: 2nd overall - Jordan Staal
They got Ryan Whitney 5th overall in 2002.

Quebec, Ottawa and Atlanta have had very similar runs of draft lottery "luck" in the super-expansion era:

Quebec
1988: 3rd overall - Curtis Leschyshyn
1989: 1st overall - Mats Sundin
1990: 1st overall - Owen Nolan
1991: 1st overall - Eric Lindros

Ottawa
1992: 2nd overall - Alexei Yashin
1993: 1st overall - Alexandre Daigle
1994: 3rd overall - Radek Bonk
1995: 1st overall - Bryan Berard
1996: 1st overall - Chris Phillips
(They got Hossa 12th overall in '97, one spot before Chicago took Dan Cleary)

Atlanta
1999: 1st overall - Patrick Stefan
2000: 2nd overall - Dany Heatley
2001: 1st overall - Ilya Kovalchuk
2002: 2nd overall - Kari Lehtonen

All of those teams were, of course, bad enough to warrant high draft picks, but the chances of these teams getting so many Top 3 (more often 1st than 2nd, and 2nd than third) in the lottery strain credulity. The other thing to notice is that these teams all offloaded significant payroll (more than other lottery teams) at the trade deadlines of those years.

The Quebec run was actually just Quebec tanking games, which spurred the NHL to institute a lottery system. That system was replaced by the current one in 1995 after Ottawa thought they got "screwed" down to 3rd overall.

The really suspect thing about the teams themselves, though, is those of the Bettman era are emblematic of the league's big pet projects of the time. Ottawa was considered a big reach at the time for a franchise by the owners who, according to former NHL exec (and HoF vote manipulator) Gil Stein, wanted to expand into America's fast-growing sunbelt before Canada's capital. Conversely, the Thrashers' run came when it was widely believed the new franchise would 'burn out' of Atlanta just as quickly as the last one. Then, when talk turned to saving struggling franchises with a salary cap, when Lemieux was parked permanently next to the NHL Commish's ear, the struggliest of the struggly got its Fleury-Malkin-Crosby-Staal windfall.

Was the NHL gaming its draft lottery to help struggling teams in new or troubled markets get quickly [back] to contention? From a strictly business standpoint, it might make sense to provide four or five franchise players, all around the same age, to serve as the core of a team in city the league feels it could compete in.

But that's not the only possibility. It may be that these teams were simply tanking. Realizing that the system guarantees a Top 2 pick for the worst team in the league, perhaps the teams themselves decided (as Quebec did) that the surest way to rebuild quickly and load up on jersey-selling stars was to lose, lose, and lose. That seems more likely, considering it was substantially easier to lose on purpose before the post-lockout salary cap and minimums, and the suspect runs at the top of the draft board seem to have dissipated since Pittsburgh's last quarry.

On the other hand, it could also be representative of hockey's gestation period being about three years. Case in point: Tampa Bay has yet to get the jolt out of Steve Stamkos, and so finished low enough this year to warrant Victor Hedman at 2nd overall. If this is the case, the NHL needs to fix its draft system, so that a team that chose at the top the previous year isn't doubly rewarded when they're already "on the mend."

Subrosa

July 1st, 2009 at 12:46 AM ^

Sitting there in the aftermath of Brazil's comeback was one of the strangest feelings I've had as a sports fan. To demonstrate: I was going to put an adjective on "comeback" there and considered both "stunning" and "inevitable." Words literally fail. Maybe there's something in German for it. Schiessenkopffrauballsdammit: the feeling you have when the incredibly improbable thing you dreaded and feared comes to pass, just like you knew it would. (See: 2005 Ohio State game.)

Perfect.

Hart Attack

July 1st, 2009 at 11:07 AM ^

I think a blog specific to the MNT would be fantastic, especially if it is as enjoyable and informative as mgoblog. I agree with others, it can be a real pain to find the soccer info you're looking for.

A name possibility, to keep it tied a bit to your current blog:

M = keeps tie to Michigan, also to the "Men's" team.
Goal = sounds like "Go" but specifically points to soccer
Blog = obvious

I think it is available - http://mgoalblog.com

? some variation of that?

Snidely Doo Rash

July 1st, 2009 at 10:50 PM ^

...as in the pirate version of Pele. That is all I got for a name for the US MNT blog. I suggest Brian use the world cup office pool I basically debugged in 06 and 02 to generate donations and national interest in this new blog. Fifa has a complex one but mine is much simpler and user friendly, like playing a quick game of RISK.

So, you donate 20 bucks to the site and pick your favorite sides and if you win you get a nice payout and if you place you win soccer jerseys or cuzzis and such.

Of course a big ten-oriented bowl pool every january on mgoblog would be fun too. My Big ten Bowlnanza pool might be the ticket here Brian... Is this legal/feasible in the blogosphere?