Of a ex Mrs. Kutcher resemblance.
a terrible blight on our fine country
The 2012 Football Media Guide was released last night. Like all media guides it has lots of information reporters will Google/Bentley anyway if they ever need it. This one also comes with an extensive section on 100-yard rushers and 100-yard rushing duos in case, you know, anyone needs to write an article this year about two guys rushing for over 100 yards in a game or something. It also has a roster. A ROSTER!!! OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD, OBSESSIVE ATTENTION TO ROSTER NUMBERS, GO!
Baquer Sayed not on it again. This same thing happened last year and then he turned up back on the team so this could be nothing. (UPDATE: Confirmed he has left the team.) Baquer was in the Spring Game and caught one of those passes listed as "unknown" in the box score. He was a 2010 preferred walk-on, one of those tall, loping-type receivers who look like they're hunched over until they extend to unworldly lengths. He turned down MAC offers to walk on here. Tim Sullivan interviewed him on MGo a few years ago. Yes, that Fordson.
Devin Gardner a junior, not RS soph. You shouldn't expect him to be since they won't say until he applies following the 2013 season, but I always look anyway.
WDEs the Biggest Gainers. Brennan Beyer is now 252 lbs., up 27 from the Spring roster, meaning he has gained the mass of the world's biggest lobster. Space fact: it now takes as much extra energy for Beyer to jump as it takes an astronaut in his space suit to jump from the surface of the moon. Frank Clark is up 32 lbs. for a listed 260. In other guys moving down the line, Jibreel Black is up to 276 (+16) and Roh is listed at 278 (+9).
Holy Ondre! Ondre Pipkins, at 337 pounds, is the biggest dude on the entire roster. For reference, Will Campbell arrived at 309, Richard Ash was 320, and freshman Gabe Watson was 358.* Other freshmen arriving much larger than advertised are Willie Henry (6'3-302, from 6'2-270), Ben Braden (6'6-319, from 285), Erik Magnuson (6'6-290 from 275), Amara Darboh (6'2-218 from 190), A.J. Williams (6'6-282 from 270), The Funchess (6'4-225 from 6'5-205), and James Ross (6'1-225 from 6'0-209). Only RJS arrived smaller than sites said (6'2-206 from 215).
* "That's all?" —everyone my age who ever played against Southfield
On to the fully digit-ed freshmen!
|12||Allen Gant||S||6'2||196||Nice compromise btw dad (14) and cousin (2)|
|13||Terry Richardson||CB||5'9||154||154 pounds = 11 stone, $239 U.S., "small"|
|15||James Ross||LB||6'1||225||Much closer to LB size than as a recruit (209)|
|19||Devin Funchess||TE||6'4||225||Much closer to TE size than as a recruit (205)|
|49||Kaleb Ringer||LB||6'1||230||Spring - up 11 lbs. since|
|52||Royce Jenkins-Stone||LB||6'2||206||Winner of "I'm Ray Lewis" sweepstakes among Mattison LB recruits. Guessing redshirt.|
|53||Mario Ojemudia||DE||6'2||223||Wore 53 in high school|
|56||Ondre Pipkins||DT||6'3||337||He asked for 56 - for Woodley|
|69||Willie Henry||DT||6'3||302||How did they miss a kid that size at a program like Glenville?|
|71||Ben Braden||OL||6'6||319||Is this OT depth is see? Size: yes. Technique: unlikely.|
|78||Erik Magnuson||OL||6'6||290||Same as with Braden.|
|82||Amara Darboh||WR||6'2||218||I was so sure he'd take 15|
|84||A.J. Williams||TE||6'6||282||Is it legal to make a guy that size an eligible receiver?|
You are welcome to see how wrong I was at guessing. Or you can burn that. You know what, burn that.
Not as many as in years previous.
|Name||Pos.||Was||Now||This is not the reason|
|Drew Dileo||WR||26||9||Step 1: Get assigned locker next to Gallon. Step 2: Steal cloaking device.|
|Devin Gardner||QB||7||12||Bought a Gutierrez jersey in '04 before he got his Henne one. Recently discovered it in back of the closet.|
|Paul Gyarmati||FB||99||31||Inaugural "Name Legends" jersey, will include patch honoring Herman Everhardus (1930-'33)|
The new guys. Those listed were not on the spring roster.
|3||Bo Dever#||WR||6'2||189||FR||Lake Forest, Ill. (Lake Forest)|
|6||Brian Cleary#||QB||6'3||202||FR||Detroit, Mich. (Detroit Jesuit)|
|18||Devon Micou||WR||6'0||184||RS FR||Ann Arbor, Mich. (Huron)|
|31||Andrew Offerdahl||S||5'11||192||FR||Fort Lauderdale, Fl. (Cardinal Gibbons)|
|46||Chris Maye#||DB||5'11||178||FR||Union City, Mich. (Union City)|
|59||Mark Lawson#||LB||6'2||207||FR||Ada, Mich. (Forest Hills Eastern)|
|63||Ben Pliska||OL||6'3||267||FR||Kirkland, Wa. (Lake Washington)|
|79||Dan Gibbs#||OL||6'7||311||FR||Birmingham, Mich. (Seaholm)|
|91||Kenneth Allen#||P||6'3||205||FR||Fenton, Mich. (Fenton)|
|91||David Mitropoulos-Rundus||TE||6'2||242||RS FR||Ann Arbor, Mich. (Pioneer)|
|95||Anthony Capatina||K||5'9||181||RS SO||Novi, Mich. (Detroit Catholic Central)|
|96||Ryan Glasgow#||DL||6'4||285||FR||Aurora, Ill. (Marmion Academy)|
# = preferred walk-on. Interesting note: Glasgow is listed at DL, though the little chatter about him on the interwebs expected him to be an interior offensive lineman.
(note: Brink, Heininger and Kovacs counted as scholarship players)
31! Thirty-one scholarship players with junior (19) or senior (12) eligibility, ah ah ah! Last year was 18 juniors and 15 seniors; 2010 was 14 and 11. This year there are only 11 sophomores (since few redshirted in '10 and many did last season.
38! Thirty-eight players left from the '08-'10 classes, ah ah ah! This roster is already mostly Hoke's. Show? Show.
|Total on Scholarship||78||80||76||74|
7! Seven receivers on last year's August roster who are now gone. Odoms, Grady and Hemingway by graduation, Stonum by action, Stokes and Williamson by volition, Terrence Robinson by unrenewsion. AHHHH!
14! Fourteen scholarship players at defensive back, ah ah ah! As opposed to nine on the roster in 2009.
44! Forty-four of the guys pictured in the Media Guide with facial hair, ah ah ah! This has to be a new record since the '70s.
THE THREE STAGES OF BEARDLINESS:
They are Demens, Allspach, and Mealer.
TEAM DREAD-FLOW 133!:
(EDIT: Almost forgot:
They are Wolverines with lions' manes sticking out of their helmets, soaring through the air in much the same way Odre Pipkins doesn't. They are: J.T. Floyd, Chris Eddins, Gibbons U PUT IT THRU THE UPRITES, Denard with something on his upper lip that shouldn't be there, Roh's left eyebrow, Roh's right eyebrow, Hopkins, the Jake (love the Jake), and Bolden. Here's some dudes trying to get into the club:
T-Gordon, Gallon, Jarrod Wilson, Dennis Norfleet, Justice Hayes, Seth Broekhuizen.
NO LONGER PART OF TEAM DREAD-FLOW:
I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON I CHOSE HIM AS MY TOTALLY UNREASONABLE NAME ON NOBODY'S LIPS TO GET ALL EXCITED ABOUT
Delonte Hollowell. Somebody get this man a bow-tie.
Of a ex Mrs. Kutcher resemblance.
You can have Bolden if I get Ally Raisman. They're about the same age.
I vote for calling Jake Ryan "Sunshine" as homage to that great film, what was it called, "Forget Ye Not The Titans"
"Sunshine" Ronnie Bass is a great reference, but can you reference a guy from a movie that was playing a guy that actually existed and looked nothing like the guy from the movie?
Not sure if you mean "Remember the Titans" or another movie but I know Channing Tatum played a guy who was a different skin color than him in "Coach Carter."
Lucky for me I was only a Sophomore when our team played Watson at Southfield, so I didn't have the pleasure/demise of facing him on the field. I was a 6'0 160 lbs not-very-athletic RB who I am sure would have died. /coolstorybro
He's responsible for my brother's lifelong shoulder problems (Seaholm '99). Campbell knocked out two of their strongside guards before they took to submarining him every play while the all-Albion backfield (four guys played for Albion, but the QB went to Cornell) ran nothing but sweeps. Turns out in high school the refs miss a lot of chop blocks.
Where is Vincent Smith on team Dread Flow???
I missed it because the dreds are tied behind his back in a ponytai.
It would be such a tragedy if he went dread-less. I hope this is an accidental omission and not a true sign of the apocalypse
I think Roh's eyebrows can count as facial hair.
YOU MEAN THIS WHOLE TIME MEALER HAS BEEN A PUPPET AND I NEVER KNEW??!?!!!1?one!??
Methinks Brendan Gibbons misunderstood Hoke's direction to think about brunettes. Although I guess, technically, he IS a brunette....
Is that with or without the laptop?
that's only +/- 3 lbs... so that's still great weight gain! But, alas, it will all be for naught if he can't make it onto the field this year...
Somebody's going to have to stop him from getting any larger before he gets to "Gabe Watson-ville". Coach Hoke probably has already told him something to the effect of "lose 20 pounds or you're not seeing the field this year". I was really hoping he could give us some depth on the DL this year.
IIRC he was bigger and lost a decent amount of weight between his All American game and when he stepped on campus.
something like 360, and still was able to run down Diggs to cause a fumble. Yeah, 337 might be a tad large and more than the coaches want him at, but he did prove he can still move at a high weight.
And his dread bangs?!? Wtf man? Quick someone tell him he's doing it wrong.
If he's related to Snake*, we may have a player
* Yeah, I know it's Plissken, but that's who I thought of when I saw the name, and his flow fits with this thread.
If Gant is listed at 196 ... he's dropped at least 20 pounds since his HS basketball season.
Sites pegged him anywhere from 198 to 210 and this site guessed 205. Stil, he's just outside the low range. He's a big safety.
I appreciate Mealer brushing his beard out to give it that extra perception of wildness. Nothing more fun than brushing a beard out and looking like a crazed dog.
Weird number switch for Gardner. Single-digits are usually cooler than double, and #7 is pretty awesome.
Woh woh woh!!! Did I miss this or was there some sort of hype when the great John Offerdahl of the WMU Broncos and Miami football Dolphins announced his boy would walk on to the Wolverines??
|31||Andrew Offerdahl||S||5'11||192||FR||Fort Lauderdale, Fl. (Cardinal Gibbons)|
Dude was a beast and a probowler several times. Lets call this a possible high ceiling
walk on based on nothing more than his old man.
Anyone have some actual intel?
I think Furman looks like Rod Allen.
That was my first thought as well.
Seth, this made my day livable. Thank you
I do not know how anyone could not smile when they look at Mealers photo. I chuckled at that thing for a good 5 minutes. Gibbons photo for whatever reason just creeps me out. He looks like he belongs on the show how to catch a predator haha. Bolden's here is just beautiful, nothing more to say about that.
Two 17 year olds on the team:
Royce Jenkins-Stone born August 9,1994
Terry Richardson born September 15, 1994
Willie Henry could possibly be 17 as well, but no birth date is listed for poor Willie in media guide. All it states is:
Willie Henry was born …
40% national representation. Players from 20 States are on the Michigan 2012 Roster:
Can you name a player from each State?
|Lewan, Taylor||Scott sdale||Arizona|
|Roh, Craig||Scott sdale||Arizona|
|Wile, Matt||San Diego||California|
|Robinson, Denard||Deerfi eld Beach||Florida|
|Off erdahl, Andrew||Fort Lauderdale||Florida|
|Gibbons, Brendan||West Palm Beach||Florida|
|Robinson, Marvin||Winter Haven||Florida|
|Dever, Bo||Lake Forest||Illinois|
|Schofi eld, Michael||Orland Park||Illinois|
|Darboh, Amara||West Des Moines||Iowa|
|Dileo, Drew||Greenwell Springs||Louisiana|
|Countess, Blake||Owings Mills,||Maryland|
|Mateus, Kristi an||Ada||Michigan|
|Jackson, Jeremy||Ann Arbor||Michigan|
|Johnson, Drake||Ann Arbor||Michigan|
|Micou, Devon||Ann Arbor||Michigan|
|Mitropoulos-Rundus, David||Ann Arbor,||Michigan|
|Gyarmati , Paul||Birmingham||Michigan|
|Norfl eet, Dennis||Detroit||Michigan|
|Funchess, Devin||Farmington Hills||Michigan|
|Ojemudia, Mario||Farmington Hills||Michigan|
|Hayes, Justi ce||Flint||Michigan|
|Allspach, Nate||Grand Rapids||Michigan|
|Demens, Kenny||Oak Park||Michigan|
|Ross III, James||Orchard Lake,||Michigan|
|Glanda, Jareth||Rochester Hills||Michigan|
|Kerridge, Joe||Traverse City||Michigan|
|Maye, Chris||Union City||Michigan|
|Kennedy, Jack||Walled Lake||Michigan|
|Wilson, Steve||White Lake||Michigan|
|Pipkins, Ondre||Kansas City||Missouri|
|Chesson, Jehu||St. Louis||Missouri|
|Swieca, Alex||New York||New York|
|Floyd, J.T.||Greenville||South Carolina|
|Washington, Quinton||St. Stephen||South Carolina|
|Hopkins, Stephen||Double Oak||Texas|
|Houma, Sione||Salt Lake City||Utah|