BREAK DOWN
| MICHIGAN | FLORIDA | |
|---|---|---|
| Coaches | ||
| Lloyd Carr, an eloquent public speaker, tireless defender of his players, and playoff advocate | Urban Meyer, a inveterate whiner who goes purse shopping when not running the local chapters of NAMBLA and the Communist Party. Also points too much. | |
| Loss | ||
| Versus Ohio State's death machine in the ninth level of hell (Columbus, for the unititiated) by three points entirely because of rampant cheating and a slip 'n' slide masquerading as a football field. | Versus Auburn, a team that can't throw or run or do anything except cheat on tests, really. Auburn, like, lost to Georgia, a team that sucks butt. | |
| Best Win | ||
| F*#-ING BEAT DOWN of Notre Dame that ruined them psychologically for the next eighty years. | Gifted six turnovers by LSU. Probable 60-point loss if not for completely unforced implosion. | |
| Second Best Win | ||
| Comfortable win over wonderful, tested 11-1 Wisconsin team. | Referee-aided win over I-AA Western Carolina. | |
| Common Opponent | ||
| Outgained Vanderbilt by 200 yards and won by 20. | Outgained BY Vanderbilt, lucked out 6 point win. | |
| Miracles Received | ||
| N/A. | Six hundred blocked kicks versus South Carolina. Reggie Fish's decision to field a punt at his own five over his shoulder. | |
| General Impression Left By Play | ||
| Daaaaaamn. | Lolly lolly I want a lolly. | |
| Sided With Who During Civil War? | ||
| Union | Confederates | |
QED, MFER