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BoilerQuest 2013: Kickoff

By Brian — October 15th, 2013 at 11:48 AM — 22 comments
Filed under:
  • boilerquest 2013

perrycolor[1]

Via Boiled Sports

Gentlemen. Ever since the Big Ten entered its current laughingstock mode we have tracked the fate of the worst team in the conference in their quest to add their name to the annals of awful Big Ten programs. Generally we wait until a couple games have passed with appropriately humiliating results before initiating [MASCOT]Quest.

It is time to do this with the 2013 Purdue Boilermakers, who are 121st in points scored and 117th in points allowed nationally. It is time for BoilerQuest.

Rules

The worst team in Big Ten history has no wins and no ties; nonconference doesn't matter; 1930 is the cutoff since before that teams played highly variable schedules. Teams from WWII are included. We are going on a straight ranking by scoring ratio, which is:

point scored / (points scored + opponent points scored)

This should help normalize for the fact that football has gotten progressively higher scoring as the years have progressed.

Purdue will be the worst Big Ten team since X if they do Y…

2005: Lose all their games

The last winless Big Ten team was 2005 Illinois.

1981: Lose and finish with scoring ratio below 21%

2005 Illinois managed 21% and their 1997 team matched that. The 1981 Northwestern Wildcats scored 75 points in nine league games but gave up 425 for a scoring ratio of 15%.

1961: Lose and finish with scoring ratio below 15%

1961 Illinois never reached double digits or came within two touchdowns of an opponent (23-9 versus Purdue was their closest game) and had a scoring ratio of 12.3%.

1960: Lose, scoring ratio below 12.3%

1960 Indiana managed just 11.8.

1957: Lose, scoring ratio below 11.5%

1957 Indiana.

1944: Lose, scoring ratio below 8.9%

Iowa 1944 set a low bar, and then they lost to Iowa Pre-Flight, though Iowa Pre-Flight was 10-1 that year.

Pretty Much Ever: Lose, scoring ratio below 8.7%

Harry Kipke's 1934 Wolverines managed this.

Boilerquest Status Report

displaymedia[1]

Purdue is currently on pace to be the worst Big Ten team since…

1981

After 41-10 and 44-7 losses to Wisconsin and Nebraska, Purdue's scoring ratio stands at 16.7%

NEXT WEEK: Purdue travels to Michigan State, and will not be adding to their points scored.

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:05 PM
(Reply to #2) #2
PburgGoBlue
PburgGoBlue's picture
Joined: 07/21/2011
MGoPoints: -8831
Agreed, we would probably

Agreed, we would probably struggle to run against them.

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:08 PM
(Reply to #2) #3
xxxxNateDaGreat
xxxxNateDaGreat's picture
Joined: 11/28/2011
MGoPoints: 2932
-______-

-______-

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:20 PM
(Reply to #2) #4
gwkrlghl
gwkrlghl's picture
Joined: 04/13/2012
MGoPoints: 71
Last game sucked

but we are 5-1 and would likely beat Purdue by 40. We can enjoy this

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October 16th, 2013 at 3:01 AM
(Reply to #11) #5
jaysvw
Joined: 09/27/2008
MGoPoints: 940
The crackpipe

put it down.

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:01 PM
#6
markusr2007
markusr2007's picture
Joined: 10/21/2008
MGoPoints: 15661
1981-Dennis Green coached Northwestern

0-11-0

82 points scored all season long

Gave up 505 points.

=82/(82+505) = 13.9% ????

Ouch.

1981 was Green's first year, the unfortunate 4th chapter of now absent coach Rick Venturi and his failed escapades at something we now call "recruiting".

2013 Purdue has already scored 92 points, so they're not that bad, but sheesh!

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:02 PM
#7
Schembo
Schembo's picture
Joined: 01/06/2011
MGoPoints: 5394
Purdue is in a huge hole

Purdue is in a huge hole right now to dig out of.  I don't see this ending well for Darrell Hazell, nor his successor...and his successor.

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October 15th, 2013 at 4:35 PM
(Reply to #4) #8
MIMark
Joined: 05/05/2009
MGoPoints: 537
M.S. Purdue University.  I

M.S. Purdue University.  I sincerely hope the Purdue administration is patient with Hazell.  He's a great coach as seen with Kent, but he inherited a trainwreck.  Bad QB play, terrible offensive line, little talent on D outside of a great corner, quick but not Big Ten caliber receivers, etc.  I hope he recruits well quickly so he can prove what kind a program he can run.

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:02 PM
#9
Toasted Yosties
Toasted Yosties's picture
Joined: 06/05/2013
MGoPoints: 5445
They still have more fun at Purdue

I mean they have the big drum and that choo-choo, plus Purdue Pete.  Those painted dudes up above look like they are having a lot of fun in spite of the losing.  All we got is a broken O-line, bad play calling and recruiting hopes.  So envious...

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:07 PM
#10
pkatz
pkatz's picture
Joined: 01/22/2010
MGoPoints: 37411
People in glass houses

Not throwing stones, yada yada yada.



Purdue would probably still stymie our rushing game.

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:09 PM
#11
MikeCohodes
MikeCohodes's picture
Joined: 08/28/2012
MGoPoints: 4805
Brian - Correction needed

The last winless (in Big Ten play) team was 2012 University of Illinois, not 2005 University of Illinois.  The 2012 team in B1G play scored 94 points while allowing 281 for a scoring ratio of .25066667.  Both 2012 and 2005 UI had 2 wins out of conference but blanked the conference season.

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:38 PM
(Reply to #9) #12
JeepinBen
JeepinBen's picture
Joined: 01/22/2010
MGoPoints: 25475
Oh wow.

The top 8 Google Images for "Ron Zook" are amazing. This is #5

*I know Ron Zook coached only the 2005 team, not 2012, but doesn't that fact surprise you?

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October 15th, 2013 at 1:20 PM
(Reply to #15) #13
pkatz
pkatz's picture
Joined: 01/22/2010
MGoPoints: 37411
Zook is a dead ringer for Skylar's boss/boyfriend

from Breaking Bad... same stupid grin (I would embed, but I'm useless...)

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October 15th, 2013 at 2:16 PM
(Reply to #19) #14
Jerry
Jerry's picture
Joined: 10/03/2010
MGoPoints: 306
I f***ed Ron.

I f***ed Ron.

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:09 PM
#15
jocular_jock
Joined: 01/03/2012
MGoPoints: 552
Purdue football

This makes me so sad

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:20 PM
#16
MH20
MH20's picture
Joined: 10/30/2008
MGoPoints: 17230
winless in B1G play

Two teams have gone winless in conference play since that 2005 Illinois team: 2011 Indiana and 2012 Illinois.

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:27 PM
#17
Maizenblueball
Maizenblueball's picture
Joined: 12/08/2011
MGoPoints: 12493
As bad as Purdue is

I don't feel totally confident that we would beat them.  That is sad.

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October 15th, 2013 at 12:30 PM
(Reply to #13) #18
SalvatoreQuattro
SalvatoreQuattro's picture
Joined: 11/30/2010
MGoPoints: 39920
Oh, please. The players played well

but the coaches screwed it up.



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October 15th, 2013 at 12:52 PM
(Reply to #14) #19
El Jeffe
El Jeffe's picture
Joined: 07/07/2008
MGoPoints: 19400
So that means we couldn't

So that means we couldn't possibly lose?

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October 15th, 2013 at 1:00 PM
#20
markusr2007
markusr2007's picture
Joined: 10/21/2008
MGoPoints: 15661
I must admit. I thought Hazell would be an upgrade

from Danny "McCookieDuster" Hope.

But statistically Purdueis a really, really bad football team on both sides of the ball. Like, really bad, you guyz.

And yet I completely understand the sad panda commenters who respond here, incapable of imagining Michigan gaining one goddamned yard on the ground against that level of Purdon't awfulness. What on earth brought us to this lowly state?

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October 15th, 2013 at 2:30 PM
(Reply to #18) #21
One Inch Woody ...
One Inch Woody Hayes Punch's picture
Joined: 06/25/2011
MGoPoints: 1386
Tim Beckmann is slowly

Tim Beckmann is slowly rebuilding the tire fire at Illinois after going 1-11 last year. Give Hazell some time... Purdue definitely has the most craptastic facilities in the Big 10 so it might take a while, but they'll be mediocre eventually. If they can win at MAC schools, they'll eventually be able to win at Big 10 schools

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