Big Ten Expansion: Bargaining Phase

The new division alignments are flat pissing on Michigan.  If Ohio doesn't play in the B1G championship at least 2 of 3 years, they are grossly underachieving.  Every year - Indiana, Rutgers, Maryland, Purdue, and a depleted Penn State.  Every year. 

Can we just make Brian Big Ten Commissioner? I actually like this idea, if only because it brings back the Big Ten of my childhood (substituting Nebraska for Purdue of course). And, Nebraska has always made sense as an original Big Ten school, given its location and culture. In conclusion, I ask Zoltan, Space Emperor of Space, to make Brian Big Ten Commissioner so that this can happen.

Can we just make Brian Big Ten Commissioner? I actually like this idea, if only because it brings back the Big Ten of my childhood (substituting Nebraska for Purdue of course). And, Nebraska has always made sense as an original Big Ten school, given its location and culture. In conclusion, I ask Zoltan, Space Emperor of Space, to make Brian Big Ten Commissioner so that this can happen.

I have no idea why, and it seems very odd of me, but I like the idea of just devouring an entire conference a lot more than taking a couple mid-tier schools from one...

Maryland is fine academically and come-again-go-again good athletically and I'm not as opposed to them as Rutgers.  Rutgers was the name of my middle school gym teacher, not a Big 10 university.  Seriously.

If the B1G must expand I'd rather it was done much more carefully; if/when we can pull quality academic and/or athletic institutions from other conferences.  When the B1G announced the addition of Nebraska I wasn't a hater.  They're not the greatest academic school, but their a gut-reaction positive name at least.  And a traditional football powerhouse, which definitely helps with the culteral fit...  *sigh*  T_T

This is basically stealing his "SEC Two" idea. Unless Brian isn't adding the regulation factor in the setup.

I think this is a good start.  Then we have something similar with the SEC absorbing the ACC to go to 20 teams divided into two divisions, and the PAC12 grabbing the B12, expanding to 20 and dividing itself into two divisions.

In 3 years time we see the Super-SEC try to grab a team from the Super-PAC20 which leads to an all out war for expansion b/w the 3 mega conferences.  In the end, the three super conferences decide to join as it will expand their geographical footprint. We now have a SUPER conference of 60 teams with the following 5 divisions:

B10: Michigan, OSU, PSU, Nebraska, Iowa, Wisco, MSU, Illinois, Purdue, Minny, NW, Indiana

ACC: FSU, Clemson, NC State, Maryland, BC, GTech, UNC, Miami, Duke, Vtech, Virginia, Wake

SEC: Georgia, Florida, SC, Tenn, Kentucky, Alabama, LSU, Mississippi, Ole Miss, Arkansas, Auburn, Vanderbilt

B12: Missouri, Texas A&M, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Kansas State, iowa State, Texas Tech, Colorado, Baylor, OSU, West Virginia

PAC12: Stanford, Oregon, OSU, Washington, Cal, WSU, UCLA, USC, Arizona, ASU, Utah, TCU

All other teams are moved to division 1.5A.

Each division has 1 automatic into the super playoff, with one at-large coming from the 1.5A.

;-)

If the Sun eats the Earth, only Denard Dilithium will survive.

We'll send him to another planet where he will be faster than the rest of them ... oh.. wait...

Hey guys Tad Watkins here with the Big 10 Marketing Department. I understand you fans are somewhat upset about the changes announced today to the greatest football conference in the world. But, let me assure you this is simply the first step towards achieving total brand immersion in expanding media markets.



Let's be honest, Champaign, East Lansing, and Bloomington don't exactly move the needle when it comes to ratings. Washington DC and the New York metro area have millions of people who will now be proud members of an actual football powerhouse. While it may seem odd that Maryland and Rutgers will both be in the Leaders Division presented by Geico, I'm confident their rich histories can help this conference forward towards total victory.



Just think, Michigan versus Rutgers in the Bank of America Big 10 Championship from beautiful Burger King Stadium in suburban New Jersey. Mister Delany is a visionary and has already inquired about additions in untapped markets like Atlanta, Boston, and Buenos Aires.



Also, I think you'll be pleased to know that Mister Delany has struck a very lucrative marketing deal with several multinational corporations that will replace the tradition helmet logos with corporate logos instead. The projected revenue is astronomical. Don't worry Michigan will still have wings, they'll just be United Airlines. In fact, in a separate announcement team nicknames will be substituted for sponsors as well. Who can possibly resist The Game between the Michigan Chryslers and Ohio State Taco Bells. That's always a classic.



Anyways thanks for reading and remember: tradition matters.

Why do I enjoy this idea so much.

Big Ten: Original Big 10 teams.

Big Ten 2: Nebraska, Penn State, Maryland, Rutgers, and the six other teams our all-devouring gravitational pull acquires.

They could even rename the divisions into something equally silly, like "Tradition" and "$$$"

"The Ocho!"  

Can't we just divide this up by uniform color? We could have the ROY division and the GBIV division.

Just thought of the perfect solution to this Big Ten expansion thing.  All they need to do is add 6 more teams to get to an even 20.  Then you split it up into a Big Ten, and a Little Ten.  Teams would only play against those in their division.  For each sport, you put all of the good teams in the Big Ten, and the bad ones in the Little Ten.  Then, at the end of each season, you take a page from the English Premier League promotion/relegation system and boot the worse two Big Ten teams down into the Little Ten, and promote the best two from the Little Ten.  Now, THAT would be awesome.

The Big Ten: Midwest

Illinois

Indiana

Iowa

Michigan

Michigan State

Minnesota

Nebraska

Northwestern

Ohio State

Penn State

Purdue

Wisconsin

The Big Ten: Pac-West

Arizona

Arizona State

California

Colorado

Oregon

Oregon State

Stanford

Southern Cal

UCLA

Utah

Washington

Washington State

Each team plays eight games within its half of the conference, and one game against the other half of the conference each year. Each half of the conference has its own championship game, and the winners of these games play each other in the Rose Bowl for the overall title. And in a future playoff system, the winner of the Rose Bowl game has almost assuredly punched itself a ticket for the MNC game.

Oh that's right, they were actually GOING to do it this way, and then Notre Dame fucked it up for us.

Seriously, fuck you Notre Dame for preventing this from happening. And fuck you, USC and Stanford, for siding with Notre Dame and against the other 14 of us.

At least the stupid logo will be replaced...

I dreamt that Notre Dame was #1, OSU was undefeated, and Rutgers was in the Big Ten........OH NO ITS REAL

I thought this was real for 30 seconds.

All of this expansion foolishness has my head spinning.  Now GET OFF OF MY LAWN!

While we've all been hemming and hawing about the Big Ten moniker/logo making no sense ever since Penn State joined, it's become clear to me today that there is an extra T at the end. Damnit, it must have been using a cloaking device before, but it was there all along. It was never a numbers thing...we are the BIG TENT!

Alright, here is my idea for teams number 15 and 16. Since media footprint is so important now to the expansion of the conference I suggest the Big Ten takes Columbia University to secured New York City and Occidental College in Los Angeles. This is an absolute win for network coverage!

This may be a bit too sci-fi nerdy, but I just realized that the Big Ten Commissioner:

Looks an awful lot like this guy.

It can't be a coincidence.

See, Delaney is secretly a computer geek and wants the Big 10 name to make sense again.



So, we get to 16 teams and end up with the Big 0x10....



Seriously though, I tried explaining the entire situation to a non-sports fan and they said at the end "These are Universities right? Who are supposed to focus on education?"



I laughed and laughed and laughed.

considering that the SEC got A&M, the ACC got Pitt and ND, and the B1G just recently got Nebraska. Neither Maryland nor Rutgers has that kind of caché and Rutgers is being pulled from the Big East for godsakes. 

But in addition to the TV markets, I believe the conference's presidents and AD's envisioned the potenital "road" games their teams could be playing in. Nebraska, Penn State, Michigan, Ohio State and possibly Wisconsin are all good candidates to play Maryland at FedEx Field, and Rutgers at MetLife Stadium. Sort of how sometimes in Big East basketball, St. John's plays at MSG and others like Seton Hall, Villanova, and Georgetown would sometimes play their "bigger" games in their nearby metropolis' pro arena. Nebraska-Maryland sounds silly, but sounds a little less silly if it's played at FedEx. And how does Michigan-Rutgers at MetLife Stadium sound?

Is it weird I started thinking about Fiddler on the Roof and having a life changing event and losing all traditions with all this happening?

State is also an expansion team, if of a bit older date than the others. Couldn't we ship them into the Too division too, to maintain the natural rivalry with Rutgers? Make it a trophy game, play it on Black Friday every year to get the holiday season going. Both teams could wear their home unis and they could play for a Christmas ornament that looks like a football helmet. Or a chrome football helmet that looks like a Christmas ornament. I can't decide.