"Northwestern fans can be both heartened and disheartened by the loss to Minnesota just like how nineteenth-century resurrectionists were heartened when they pried a heart from a freshly-buried corpse and then disheartened it when they sold it to a disreputable anatomist."
Apparently Morgan Trent Is Fine
Right: people who have better connections than I checked into Trent, who was reported to be A-OK. This is obviously a "my bad" situation and I hereby offer apologies for any panic caused. I endeavor not to report rumors unless they trip a certain level of credibility... this one had that, but was still wrong.
I will now undergo a ritual of self-mutilation and purification to purge myself of this deed.