According to the noted scholar, papal legate and gossip columnist for the Vatican, Father Guido Sarducci, poor St. Joseph, the Italian patron saint, has been treated unfairly by the media, especially in comparison with the Irish patron saint.
“For St. Patrick's Day, we have-a lots of festivities,
lots of-a green, celebrations and-a major parades.
But for St. Joseph, a very good-a saint, there is-a nothing.
the only thing he is-a known for is-a children's aspirin.”
Now, I don't mean to suggest any parallel between the treatment of poor St Joseph and UM or RR. Yet, I must regretfully inform you that the media also launched an “investigation” of poor St. Joseph.
(1) the press published a four-part expose, claiming he took all "independent study" courses and had no academic qualifications for making aspirin.
(2) The press called for an immediate investigation of the aspirin’s safety. They claimed that he shredded the recipe he developed at his last job. Others said he used “snake oil” in the ingredients.
(3) The media claimed that, to make the aspirin, St-Jo recruited a criminal who once got his hand caught in a gumball machine. He was part of an organized gumball ring. Supposedly, he was never convicted. But everybody knows a hardened criminal when they see one.