"Northwestern fans can be both heartened and disheartened by the loss to Minnesota just like how nineteenth-century resurrectionists were heartened when they pried a heart from a freshly-buried corpse and then disheartened it when they sold it to a disreputable anatomist."
For those who need a bit of distraction before whatever it is that's happening in an hour or two, a good time to note that both men's swimming and women's gymnastics are currently ranked No. 1 nationally.
Men's swimming & diving won 10 of 13 events to beat Purdue 153-90. Not a big surprise, considering their depth (each individual event victory came from a different athlete) and that M is 56-0 against Purdue in dual meets.
Women's gymnastics was pre-season #10 and zipped (flipped?) up to #1 with their high-scoring victory last week in the three-team Cancun Classic, their first #1 national ranking since 2000. Yesterday, they beat Nebraska, pre-season #7 and 2011 Big Ten Champion, 196.900-196.300. The women currently share #1 with Florida (identical scores last week), but their score this week is higher than Florida's, so...
Men's gymnastics is preseason #1, not surprising considering their Olympic experience. But having several members on the U.S. National Team may affect their ranking after their first meet (Jan. 19), which is apparently the same time as a required U.S. team camp. Every team should have such problems. A good test of their depth and experience for their rookies.
We return you now to revenue sports palpitations.