"Northwestern fans can be both heartened and disheartened by the loss to Minnesota just like how nineteenth-century resurrectionists were heartened when they pried a heart from a freshly-buried corpse and then disheartened it when they sold it to a disreputable anatomist."
(Below contains information provided by a very good friend, someone who is much more proficient in counting, charting, and general attention-paying than me. Credit should be given where credit is due (to him) and criticism should be given where criticism is due (also to him). I consider myself to be a mere conduit of information because he was too Notre Dame (read: chicken) to post this himself and apparently wants to remain anonymous...).
We are a colorful bunch. From all different walks of life and across the globe, we gather to learn, discuss, and follow Michigan football in the Fall. We read and then watch and then read some more. Some of us even read WHILE we watch. And so it goes every week in the gameday open threads. Aside from the love (and sometimes hate) we all have for Michigan, we have at least one more thing in common . . . our use of curse words. That is the topic of this thread:
In the Akron open threads, we contributed 131 "fuck"s to the discussion (113 in the first half, 18 in the second half). That number was bested in the UConn open threads, which saw 165 "fuck"s (118 in the first half and 47 in the second half).
The use of "shit" trailed our clear preference of the word "fuck" (as "shit" is clearly not as effective as "fuck" in certain situations requiring a more nuclear reaction). We had 59 "shit"s in the Akron threads and 46 "shit"s in the UConn thread
Interestingly, the use of "suck" was much more prevelant in the UConn threads (102 in the first half, 12 in the second half) than in the Akron threads (65 in the first half, 5 in the second half), which is interesting because one might hypothesize that Michigan sucked equally in both games.
The use of "damn" in the two threads was pretty consistent, it only being deployed 23 times during the Akron game and 20 times during the UConn game. However, much more alarming is the increase in the use of "put in Morris" from the Akron thread to the UConn thread - almost 20 more people want to see Gardner replaced this week than they did last week (25 versus 8, respectively).
For your viewing pleasure, below are exceprts of open threads from the past two weeks:
What, you may be asking yourself, does all of this mean? It means we are a very colorful bunch. Colorful and extremely NSFW, NSFMrs.K, and NSFChildrenUnderTheAgeof16. So, on behalf of all you fathers that let your young children read these threads:
Hey, shitheads, please stop fucking swearing in the goddamn open game threads or they're going to put in Morris, which might very well suck!
I don't care if the points don't even count anymore.