Father Guido Sarducci
How many of you believe in spooky, other-worldly happenings going on today?
(everybody who believes in psychokinesis, raise my hand).
No? Well tell me, how many of you at least believe in coincidences?
For you skeptics, consider:
Mark Twain was born and died on the day of two successive Halley's Comet appearances 75 yrs apart;
A falling baby was saved twice by the same man;
2 brothers were killed while riding the very same moped by the same taxi driven by the same driver - and even carrying the very same passengers;
Louis XVI, previously warned by an astrologer to stay home on the 21st day of each month, since that was not his lucky number, ended up being arrested, deposed and executed by guillotine on the 21st day of each month.*
Well, if that’s not enough for you, get ready for the next entry into the book of strange coincidences: The second “Upset of the Century.”
The OSU game on Saturday will be played on the 40th anniversary of what has been termed: the upset of the century in ’69.
Then, UM had been a college football power but recently had fallen on hard times, including, in the past 6 years, a 2-victory season and 3-victory season (like now)
Michigan was in the process of rebuilding (like now)
The game involved a coach who had recently come to Michigan (like now)
He was a young coach, in his 40s. (like now)
He was known for his teams’ running attack. (like now)
He had a conditioning program far more rigorous than any the players had been exposed to before. (like now)
He had many sideline outbursts. (like now)
He had come from outside of Michigan, from a state bordered by the major tributary of the Mississippi River (like now)
That year, UM had already lost to its other rival, MSU, on the road. (like now)
The Wolverines had been humiliated the year before in Columbus (like now)
OSU was known for its strong defense: (like now)
Nobody gave Michigan a chance: Ohio State was favored by 17 points (about same as this year’s game)
What happened in the actual game?
The Buckeyes had committed an unheard-of seven turnovers on the day, six interceptions and a fumble, which occurred on the final clinching play and involved a player named …(what do you think?)
--you guessed it
Wait, it only gets more interesting……
An article once made it widely known that Pryor was cast in the role of Superman before he played his first down at Ohio State.
What is not well known, however, is that Pryor thereby became part of another series of coincidences, later termed the notorious Superman curse. It’s a curse that’s spelled doom for the creators and producers of Superman, as well as many of its costars (Marlon Brando, Mariel Hemingway, Margot Kidder) and so-called Superman stars George Reeves, who committed suicide and Christopher Reeve, who became quadriplegic and died from its complications.*
In addition, Marlon Brando’s son, shortly after a Superman episode, shot and killed the lover of his half-sister, then claimed the shooting was not a crime.
(like Terrelle Pryor saying: “everybody kills”).
Moreover, one of the villain’s in Superman III became drug addicted, almost died in a fatal accident, then developed a demyelinating neuromuscular disorder
(Terrelle’s father has a demyelinating neuromuscular disorder).
What was the poor villain’s last name????
Hearing of all these strange coincidences, and fearing that the Superman curse will lead Terrelle Pryor to a game-ending fumble as occurred in 1969, OSU coach Jim Tressel this week has been furiously pouring over not game films but old episodes of Superman. He has the complete collection, anyway, since he always did kinda like guys wearing capes and tights.
Recently, however, rumors of a successful exorcism for a curse had spread far and wide, even to the most backward, primitive, illiterate societies on the continent..finally…even to Columbus, Ohio. It was then that Tressel learned about how Boston ended the Curse of the Bambino. Recall that the Red Sox opened Fenway park on the day the titanic sunk and after the year the team sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees, had an 85 year spell without a championship, while the Yankees won 24. Bostonians who had already suffered flashbacks of the British invasion centuries ago, were then having flashbacks about a ground ball going through the legs of Bill Buckner, leading them to blow their Championship hopes in ’86. So, they hired Father Guido Sarducci to sprinkle holy water on the Green Monster (the gargantuan left field wall) and exorcise the spirit haunting Fenway park. Father Guido told to Boston Faithful not to expect immediate results. He was right. Nothing happened for fifteen years. Finally, however, the exorcism worked, Boston won a title. The Curse of the Bambino had been vanquished.
Accordingly, in anticipation of a repeat of 1969, Tressell called Father Guido. He asked him to go to AA for an exorcism of on the eve of The Game. Father Guido agreed that an exorcism was badly needed, especially since Goss' halo had been removed from the stadium. Unfortunately, Father Guido told the OSU faithful that he has a different kind of "prior" engagement. He’s been asked by ND not only to remove the spirit of Charlie Weiss but also his body. And regrettably, Father Guido’s already paid for his equipment: 24-a foot Ryder truck.
So, it looks like OSU is as doomed as poor Charlie.
Stick a fork in ‘em.
The spirit lives.
All that we need the team to do is to write the next entry in this remarkable story of coincidences—a W in the record book for 2009.
So remind Pryor that the 21st of the month was not only a bad hair day for Louis XVI, who was arrested, deposed and guillotined on that day. Make Nov 21 a memorable day for TP too.
So Put Pryor on his Posterior!!