this week in unintentionally grim-sounding recruiting headlines
I'm getting verklempt...
Let me give you a topic: Marve lists Purdue as his top choice. Discuss.
Source: ESPN. Won't let me link it.
Looks like depth at QB is a little lacking at Purdue. At least we won't have to worry about last year's instance happening again.
So which ref error do you think was the worst this weekend?
1) Flagrant foul on Manny Harris, kicking him out of the game.
2) Notre Dame's "goal" on the angled skate
3) Blowing the play dead when we were about to score with 25 seconds or whatever left
4) Other (specify)
Talk about the game, etc. I'm sitting at home doing math homework and watching the game. Distract me, talk about how small we are, praise Air Canada, and the like.
Sitting alone, in a dark corner of The Knickerbocker, sat West Layfayette's saddest man. He drained the remaining ounces of his Pabst, and less than gently set it back down, and slid it into the pile of his other empties.
"Fuck this place," he muttered, drawing breath through clenched teeth.
He knew his dream was done. Four years prior, he was hearing stories of how he would be the next Bob Greise, the next Mike Phipps. He spent his high school nights dreaming of glory, of winning...
Now, in 1973, that had all faded. The end was nigh. It just wasn't fair. He knew he deserved greatness, but why didn't it happen? No bowls, no championship, not even a winning season. He slumped a little further down into his chair. It all started down hill when his hero, his role model, got beaten out by some quarterback from Florida.
As the waitress swung past the table, Gary made eye contact with her, and motioned for another beer.
He continued to rack his brain. Who's fault was it? It couldn't have been his. DeMoss's perhaps? That would make sense, he supposed. He shook his head. That shouldn't have mattered, he thought. He was following behind two men who almost won the Heisman, he, of course, should've done the same... should've been just as good.
And then that word struck him: 'Almost.' They weren't good enough either! He suddenly knew why: The reason for his complete failure to even throw a third as many touchdowns as interceptions, the reason why that 'Spurrier' kid beat out Greise for the Heisman... It was all Purdue's, no, not even that, it was all the BigTen's fault!
How could he have missed this until now? He was set up for failure by the system. He could never beat someone from the South. No, he would never be good enough, no one from the BigTen could be, not if HE couldn't. Then and there, he finally understood. Those guys in the south. Those SEC teams, and especially those Florida quarterbacks, they will always be the best.
For the rest of the night, Gary sat back in his chair thinking of all the bad things that had happened in his life, using his new enlightenment to finally understand them:
"Of course my father beat me... he knew I would never be good enough to play for an SEC school."
"So that's why I got gonorrhea from that toilet seat."
As he became comfortable with his new world view, he took out his pocket knife, and etched into the table a heart, and inside he scratched:
Now, 35 years later, if you were to go back to that same West Layfayette bar, you can go look around and find that same table. The heart has faded, but initials remain. That same spot, is where a man's inferiority complex blossomed into a life long relationship felicitating the SEC. Ahhh, true love does exist children, and that God Damn South Eastern Conference knows it.
well, i tried. my bad