senior day haiku
Craig Roh
A leaf blows in fall
Tasting each position once
Time to duck, Martinez
Will Campbell
These days people who
are not Thomas Gordon say
"Get off of me, please"
Jordan Kovacs
A man from nowhere
is the safety blanket for
a hundred thousand
Kenny Demens
As Northwestern died
they must have thought "ouch" and
"my god, sweet mustache"
JT Floyd
Sorry about things said
two years ago, low and mean
Mattison saves all
Brandin Hawthorne
We'll always have that
Purdue hash to hash zone drop
and a kickoff hold
Brandon Moore
Must be a good guy
to get Kramer's eighty-seven
time to make stories
Vincent Smith
Meet mini-Gandalf:
finger-gun Balrog LB,
state YOU SHALL NOT PASS
Elliott Mealer
The measure of man:
how many squirrels can live
in your face, repos'd
Ricky Barnum
Stayed through some things
that would have made most depart
and we needed him to
Patrick Omameh
This dance goes one way
two hearts meet at Notre Dame
Te'o's goes backwards
Mike Kwiatkowski
Not a walk-on, no
A scientist of brains, yes
And blocker of sweeps
[UPDATE: so I forgot Roy Roundtree.
Roy Roundtree
Joe Tiller quivers
in walrus rage as Roundtree
waves an arm, alone
]
Denard Robinson
I had been in the desert for some time, lost and directionless. The sun was relentless. A deadly thirst stalked me. I had not accepted the grisly fate which awaited me but was powerless to change it.
On the fifth night—possibly the sixth—a breeze arose. It was cool and dewy. I savored it for a time, then step by step it led me home.
Upchurch
I should point you to Seth's three-part senior goodbyes, which are far better than these goofy haiku and reminded me there is a "tloy wolfork" tag. Haikus not guaranteed to be 5-7-5 but I tried.
Nuclear winter's
survivors are few and wan
cockroaches, Huyge
Steve Watson
This year's Jack Shaftoe
The king of the vagabonds
Hair of Norse legend
Brandon Herron
Two touchdowns, one game
then detached, floating to ground
a serene finish
Ryan Van Bergen
Axes ring, crash and thump
Poplars topple, maples fall
Van Bergen stands, still
Fall takes leaves from trees
and leaves defensive tackle
face down, defeated
John McColgan
Spread fullback in bloom
Your existential crisis
will be no problem
Will Heininger
The Mini-Kovacs
Except insofar as he's
the Maxi-Kovacs
Jared Van Slyke
Things can be worse than
saying "yes, yes, that Van Slyke":
Michael Jackson's kid
Ankle, wrist, ankle
people who call you "Woolfork"
TWoolf ain't easy
Junior Hemingway
Throw it up, way up
in clouds a man emerges
hands grasping his prize
Kelvin Grady
Suns collide, stars burst
the duality of man
Grady wallpaper
Kevin Koger
Picked M over O
In a rare, rare time for that
Payoff Saturday
The earth moves in waves
There is a man, then a gap,
then there is nothing
JB Fitzgerald
To take the fail rays
Head on for four of five years
Invincible now
Michael Shaw
BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE
occasionally jet straight
BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE
Martavious Odoms
The first mountain goat
Survived Northwestern '08
Headbutts victory
Tom Pomarico
So, I hear you're a
Long snapper. How's that going?
Cool, cool. I am a—
An annual tradition. Special bonus this year: holy pants there are no seniors. Usually I skip a bunch of anonymous walk-ons who never saw the field unless they have a silly name; this year this is it.
Martell Webb
It goes thump. Sometimes
it catches or drops a pass.
Mostly it goes thump.
Perry Dorrestein
Bad back, outed grades
but through it all a kickin'
Punisher tattoo
Steve Schilling
Been around forever
Witnessed the Horror up close
Football purple heart
John Ferrara
Thrown into the fire
just two weeks after switching
'08: the nutshell
Adam Patterson
One last swing hits sod
A shaft of daylight strikes down
Hello two deep
Renaldo Sagesse
Hurling hockey kids,
the largest man in Quebec came
and he was all right
Greg Banks
Took the Moosman crown
as player most likely to
impress your TA
Obi Ezeh
Why did you tattoo
"Stand around, think about plants"
across your torso?
BONUS NOT MEAN HAIKU
Like Schilling, lived
through every last awful bit
and never complained
Jonas Mouton
The west wind in fall
brings everything, and then
takes everything
Mark Moundros
Walk-on captains are
intimidatingly bald
pretty much always
James Rogers
The last vagabond
a-wander from spot to spot:
Dread Pirate Rogers
COMMENCE THE SYLLABLE COUNTING.
70