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    national champs baby

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    Patrick Hruby is doing God's work.

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    first comment: "EVERY ATHLETE HAS ASPIRATIONS OF WINNING AND WE HAVE OUR FAVORITES BUT IT IS ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO OTHER STUDENTS ACHIEVE THEIR GOALS, TOO!"

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rob bolden

Unverified Voracity Shows Off Ab-Type Substances

By Brian — July 30th, 2012 at 12:12 PM — 44 comments
Filed under:
  • 1991 florida state
  • angry iowa running back-hating god
  • derrick walton
  • haterz are me
  • legends jerseys
  • ncaa: the scandals
  • nebraska
  • north carolina
  • omg shirtless
  • penn state awful thing
  • rob bolden
  • taylor lewan
  • uniformz
  • unverified voracity
  • will campbell

Will Campbell perpetual shirt malfunction. Tim Sullivan headed out to the Cass Tech alumni 7-on-7 game last weekend and got this shot of Will Campbell doing, well, this:

Ay6-Ym8CUAAk7NS[1]

He's (relatively) thin. This will make him an excellent football player. Lewan:

"The most dramatic change I've seen in a body on our team is Will Campbell," said left tackle Taylor Lewan. "His body is transformed. He was a sloppy 350 and now he's a toned down 308 kind of guy. He looks real good. His conditioning shows it. You should see him run. He's like a gazelle. It's unreal. I think Will is going to do some special things this year."

Come on, baby.

Haters. I just don't know, man. People deploy "haters" to flip criticism to the critic but surely…

Azbl5b7caaaq0qs

From Garry Gilliam™ twitter feed with the comment

"Just in case the haters thought otherwise"

…nope. There is nothing in this world bad enough to prevent "haters" from being deployed. Yeah, Penn State football player, it's jealousy at the root of all of this.

UNC stuff. A "special faculty committee" at North Carolina has called for "an independent commission of outside experts" to review the relationship between athletics and academics at the university. If this happens expect the outside experts to exhale a slow, sliding whistle at the car wreck:

The report, released Thursday, also states staffers in the school's Academic Support Program for Student-Athletes referred players to classes in the Department of African and Afro-American Studies (AFAM). In May, the university outlined fraud and poor oversight in 54 AFAM classes between 2007 and 2011, including classes that met irregularly if at all.

That included a class last summer with 18 current football players and one former player.

"It seems likely that someone in the (AFAM) department called athletics counselors … to tell them that certain courses would be available," the report states, "it is less clear whether staff … actually contacted departments to ask about the availability of classes."

So there's that. There's playing Hakeem Nicks in 2008 when he was ineligible, and there was Butch Davis employing an assistant coach literally acting as a "street agent." UNC got a one-year bowl ban and some minor scholarship losses.

Why didn't UNC get hammered? They've subverted nearly as much to the drive of the football program as Penn State did, albeit with far less odious results. If the NCAA is ever going to get a handle on these things, plausible deniability needs to be tossed out the window.

Leave Jordan alone. It's bad enough that Roy Roundtree is 21 and Devin Gardner is 12 and I'm going to be confused but come on man let's not take a bomb to our roster:

In May, Michigan announced that Roundtree would wear the No. 21 jersey of "Michigan Football Legend" Desmond Howard next season. Shortly thereafter, the school announced it would be un-retiring and recirculating Ron Kramer's No. 87, Gerald Ford's No. 48 and Bennie Oosterbaan's No. 47 beginning this fall.

Who might those players be? Will they be announced this season? When will Hoke decide it all?

"Sometime," he said with a grin. "In the future.

"We'll see."

Come on man let's not do this. Let's give the numbers to players who have not yet established themselves as starters. Let's do this: not doing this. Come on man.

This one not so close. In other non-WH games on youtube, here's almost all of the 1991 Florida State game. Advantages: Desmond Howard and Keith Jackson. Disadvantages: Michigan loses by 20. Tread carefully:

If that doesn't tempt, 100 random Michigan touchdowns may:

Angry Iowa running back hating God is having its Exodus moment. Or it just released "Blood on the Tracks" or something. What I am getting at is: wow, that got out of hand.

holygrail049[1]

YOUR RUNNING BACKS. I WILL DESTROY THEM, IOWA.

Sophomore De'Andre Johnson got a ticket for "maintaining a disorderly house" because the cops didn't appreciate walking up a never-ending staircase* and then drove very fast away from police*, drawing the usual indefinite suspension. This is the fifth(!) tailback hewed down by AIRBHG this offseason alone, though incoming freshman Greg Garmon got away with a drug paraphernalia charge without a suspension.

*[allegedly!]

The new QC assistant. The NCAA made a move to formalize and limit quality control staffers, albeit one that got tabled. Your move, college football coaches:

Alabama coach Nick Saban’s support staff has expanded to nine “analysts.” That’s up from six in 2011, three in 2010 and none before then.

The money has to go somewhere.

We will fare less well on this list next year. Orson charts fun/good from the perspective of his Orsonbrain. The Big Ten:

Screen_shot_2012-07-29_at_11.15.44_PM[1]

This is because Denard. Next year… well, it'll probably be Gardner and if early returns are any indication that will be fun to the Orsonbrain as well because it will occasionally result in passes thrown ten yards past the line of scrimmage or thirty yards behind it. Our brains will probably not interpret this as "fun."

I think Northwestern gets a raw deal here since they are liable to do anything at any time no matter how big their lead is.

Goodbye, Bolden. Rob Bolden's inevitable, slow-motion transfer process seems to have come to a conclusion with an LSU visit and the notable omission of Bolden from the Penn State roster. How he'll improve LSU's football team is unclear. Tulane, maybe.

In any case, the highly-touted in-state QB recruiting class is down to Devin Gardner's one or two years at the helm at Michigan. Joe Boisture discovered he wasn't actually good at football and lasted less than a year at MSU, Bolden lost his job to a walk-on, and Gardner's been stuck behind Denard.

Um. Nebraska's going to wear alternate uniforms for their game against Wisconsin that look slightly familiar, and not just because they give off the faint air of Rollerball.

image

this is just a picture. don't click on it.

Ad some shoulder stripes and that's Michigan's outfit from last year's ND game. Hopefully Adidas was too busy making jerseys that don't have to be switched out at halftime to innovate this summer.

Derrick Walton doing this work business. He led his AAU team to a championship in Vegas last weekend, garnering MVP honors in the process:

Walton is aggressively moving up the 2013 recruiting ranks, and continued to impress coaches and recruiting gurus with his performance this week in Las Vegas. Before the game, Dave Telep, ESPN.com’s top recruiting analyst, tweeted that Walton is being considered as a McDonald’s All-American after his strong performance.

TELEP: Sprinkle that Derrick Walton name in for McDonalds consideration.

The Mustangs, who boast four Division 1-bound players, cruised through the tournament going 9-0, outscoring opponents by 17 points per game in super pool play.

Walton had 16 points, 13 assists, and one turnover in the final.

Media days stuff. ESPN has a transcript of his speech. Denard:

And Denard:

And Lewan:

And Kovacs:

Etc.: USA water polo goalie Betsey Armstrong will become a Michigan assistant this fall. Advice: try not to get kicked by her. Not that she's in the habit of kicking random passersby. Annual MVictors JDRF donation drive is live. GRITTY GRIT GIRT. SOCKS. WOLVERINE CONSERVATION THROUGH CITIZEN SCIENCE FUNDRAISING.

  • 44 comments

Sing Along: Exodus Three

By Seth — August 4th, 2011 at 1:38 PM — 31 comments
Filed under:
  • kevin newsome
  • paul jones
  • penn state
  • rob bolden
  • sing along
  • attempted comedy

kevin_newsome ncf_a_robert1x_200 pauljones

In ancient days during the quarterback drought of 2008, there came a child called Kevin Newsome from Old Virginia bearing news that he shalt accept a scholarship offer from the University of Michigan, and there was much rejoicing among the People of the Wolverine for the wise men of recruiting looked into his future and saw his head anointed by many stars.

But then came the dark years when every first-born quarterback among the Wolverines was slain. To escape the same fate, the child Newsome was put unto a basket and floated down the river, where he was found in the Valley of Happiness and raised in the court of the ancient and Great Paterno.

However as he grew older Kevin Newsome saw his brothers -- even the walk-on -- anointed before him, and wondered about his fate. And finally he decided he must leave Happy Valley and seek his fortunes. One day he came upon a shrubbery engulfed in flame, and out of this shrubbery he heard a voice...

(HIT PLAY)

Go down, Newsome, way down in Happy Valley Penn State land.
Tell old -- Paterno...
Let my QBs go!!!!

(da dum da doobie doobie, da dum da dum)

When McGloin came starter his backups said:
Let my QBs go!
They sat so much they could not stand.
Let my QBs go!

(So the Lord said) Go down, Newsome, way down in State College Penn State land.
Tell old....Paterno....to let my QBs go!

(da dum da doobie dum, da dum da doobie dum)

So Bolden went to Happy Land
Let my QBs go!
He couldn't make Paterno understand,
Let my QBs go!

(Yes the Lord said) Go down, Bolden, way down in University Park Penn State land..
Tell old....Paterno....to let my QBs go!

(da dum da doobie, da dum a doobie, da dum da doobie dum dum)

Thus spoke Paul Jones, bold freshman said:
Let my QBs go!
Your first-born son's not right in the head.
Let my QBs go!

('Cause the Lord said) Go down, Paul Jones, way down in Beaver Stadium Penn State land..
Tell old....Paterno....
Let my QBs go!

And Paterno said:

No! No! No! I will not let them go!

  • 31 comments
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