"The doors where Devin Gardner became Devin Gardner have super glue in the locks. Keys don’t work here anymore, not at Inkster, where budget cuts have taken a once-proud community and turned it into a blockade of buildings waiting for demolition."
As it is written in the Book of Football Revelations and the Associated Press, there will come riders from the East. They will bring with them the Signs of the End of Times: Poisonous Nuts, Terrifying Googly-Eyed Mascots, Satantic I-Dotting Rituals where the I stands for the phrase well-known in demonology: "I intend to do evil things upon your person," A Creepy Geriatric Whose Head is Not His Head, Weird Quasi-Biblical Prose that is not going to make it to the end of this paragraph before Getting Tedious, and other augers of an Intention to Ruin Your Evening. Gameday is Nigh!