help me it's the middle of july
The mercifully Paul-Maguire-free 2009 ESPN college football announcin' teams have been announced. Of primary interest to Michigan fans are these trios locked into ABC 3:30 games:
Sean McDonough, Matt Millen, and Holly Rowe
Mike Patrick, Craig James, and Heather Cox
You will never escape the vast reach of Matt Millen, Detroit. Never.
Also the ESPN afternoon slot will probably be heavy on Michigan, so expect a goodly dose of Dave Pasch, Chris Speilman, and Bob Griese. If Michigan gets relegated to ESPN2 nooners it's Pam Ward, as per usual, and any night games (read: Iowa) will be handled by the usual Musberger-Herbstreit pairing or Brad Nessler-Todd-Blackledge-ERIN ANDREWS ERIN ANDREWS ERIN ANDREWS. Good to see Nessler and Griese finally got that surgery and can now be in different rooms—different states, even.
All of this is fine, good even. Before Matt Millen was the worst general manager in the history of professional sports—I defy anyone to contradict that statement—he was a good-to-excellent color guy. Hell, the reason he got the job with the Lions seemed to be his outstanding color commentary. It's not like he had any other qualifications whatsoever. So he and McDonough seem fine; I know some people think he's got it in for Michigan or something but that's because some people are crazy tribalists.
I'm considerably less enthused about the prospect of drawing Mike Patrick and Craig James. Patrick remains stained by his association with The Worst Football Booth Ever—Patrick, Maguire, and Joe Theismann—and seems like a guy who's still pissed off he has to work this small time rah-rah crap instead of the NFL. James, meanwhile, is a consistently smug presence in the ABC studio. Way back in the day I rated him only slightly less offensive than side-mouth-talkin' lunkhead and soon-to-be unemployed Aaron Taylor. I also find it hard to believe he can have a job analyzing college football given his role in the NCAA's Chernobyl moment at SMU.
I know nothing about Pasch. A quick google search finds an Awful Announcing post wherein he describes a portion of the ND-Hawaii bowl game a "golden shower." He sounds competent, if in serious need of an inner 13-year-old. Nice voice.
I'm an avowed fan of Spielman and Griese, two guys who tend towards wonkiness when allowed to and should work well together analyzing opposite sides of the ball. I even defended Spielman's right to call Michigan games against the good Doctor's j'accuse in the aftermath of some impolitic comments on a Columbus radio station, because he is not Andre Ware no matter how often TV execs demand he spend more of his time on-air saying "BOOM" or "POW."
So, yeah, not perfect but the important thing: no Mark Jones, no Rod Gilmore, no Andre Ware. Hell, Ware's been relegated to Dave sidekick and will be doing Vanderbilt-Mississippi State. ESS EEE CEE, indeed.