fantasy sports

The thing I like most about daily fantasy games is having a thing to do with all this football knowledge that "it's my job" is only so much an excuse to accumulate. My job doesn't need me to know ahead of time that so-and-so has an 8-foot manbeast at running back and that the direction state university they're playing this week really should have gone Division III a decade ago. I don't really remember how all this information was acquired. It kinda assembled in my brain and sits there.

I can only foist so much of it on phone calls with friends (I mean, eventually you do have to ask about the kids) and the mgoslackchat. So I play Draft Kings, whom you may have noticed have been one of our best supporters for a very long time now, and who you also many have noticed are all over the place lately.

But remember these games are about exploiting market inefficiency. That blitz is your friend; they're sucking in tons of new players who don't know exactly what I'm talking about. And Ohio State fans.

Unfortunately the secret's out about the beast, and Buckeyes Bucking against Indiana is a smart play. So I've got a new dude. He is playing a team that doesn't stop anything, and his team is just starting to block everything, and his game just got moved to the early slot so his competition is unbalanced, and half the people in the pool are all gonna have the same guys. Don't listen to the weatherman who says the weather's gonna be clearer than you thought. I say it's gonna pour.

Details:

  • $100,000 prize pool.
  • First place wins $10,000
  • FREE for new users or $3 to enter
  • Top 7,850 scores win money guaranteed
  • Starts on Saturday, October 3rd at 12:00 PM EST
  • Salary Cap Style Drafting. $50,000 to select 9 spots.
  • Roster Format: 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 2 Flex

And it's over six ounces! That's like a double whammy!

Ah, Golden Tate. You made a good rival, a better Stuffing the Passer puppet, and most recently an excellent number two to Calvin Johnson. But the reason I love Golden Tate the most was he was money on my fantasy team last year. And whenever I cheered for him people thought I was rooting for the Lions and felt sorry for me.

It's weird to have these feelings for former rivals. I'm not like Ace, who as we speak is probably in some dank Ann Arbor basement hoping to draft Carlos Hyde because Alex Boone is blocking for him. Go ahead Ace!

In fact, this time I welcome you to draft all the Urban Meyer quarterbacks. Wait are there any Urban Meyer quarterbacks? Ah yes, Alex Smith: drafted by Ute fans who are bad at trolling everywhere.

I can get behind a Badger or a Husker (hey Abdulla is cheap!), but I usually avoid rival-rival guys in fantasy because there's a wrongness. Unless he was a puppet. Or if he's still underpriced and could win you 100 large. Then it's okay.

NFL starts tonight. First NFL game of the year with our fantasy partners at Draft Kings starts Sunday.

DETAILS:

  • $1,000,000 prize pool
  • First place wins $100,000
  • FREE for new users or $3 to enter
  • Top 84,950 scores win money guaranteed
  • Starts on Sunday, September 13th at 1:00 PM EST
  • Salary Cap Style Drafting. $50,000 to select 9 spots. 8 players and 1 defense.
  • Roster Format: 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 Flex and 1 Defense

three days

It's SO CLOSE.

It's so close your phone is dinging it at you because you put it in as an all-day event and there's a three-day auto-reminder.

It's so close that you know how when you get to Thursday evening and you think "where has the week gone?" because it went by that fast, well that is all the time since today that went by.

It's so close that you don't have to say a date, just an Anglicized version of an ancient Norwegian day of the week to describe when it's happening.

It's so close…well it's so close our contest at fantasy partners Draft Kings this week is actually A MICHIGAN COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME THAT TAKES PLACE THIS WEEK!

Details:

  • $100,000 prize pool
  • $10,000 first place prize
  • Free for new users or $3 to enter
  • Top 1,150 scores win money guaranteed
  • Starts Thursday, September 3rd at 6:00 PM EST
  • Salary cap drafting style to select 9 players
  • Roster format: 2 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, and 2 Flex

By now if you've been paying attention at all you should know things like how to get a free copy of HTTV by starting a Draft Kings account and depositing $15 or more, or that Jake Rudock is starting for Michigan in this game whatever coyness is coming from Schembechler Hall.

By now you should be quivering. It's that close.