bowl games

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Nick's Question:

Michigan will be without Rashan Gary, Devin Bush, and Karan Higdon for the Peach Bowl. What should be done (besides the obvious) and what do you think will be done?

Brian: What's the obvious?

Seth: Pay the players.

Brian: Okay and what else could possibly give the NCAA leverage in these situations?

Seth: Short of voiding their scholarships pretty much nothing.

Brian: I don't think there are even scholarships to void in these situations. Most guys headed for the draft leave school to do full-time prep.

The Mathlete: The leverage here is on the games becoming meaningful, which means the solution to this problem is...expand the playoff.

Brian: One thing that's totally crazy is that two years ago Danny Kanell was coming up with insane conspiracy theories about Jabrill Peppers skipping the bowl game by faking an injury and the next NY6 bowl Michigan plays in is going to be skipped by anyone the NFL might take in the mid-rounds.

And everyone's like "yup!"

Seth: Expanding the playoff changes things for a few teams. They would have to go back to when they do have leverage. Start with the new freshman class and a new rider to their letters-of-intent: If you leave your team early you owe your school the cost of all of your schooling. Schools obviously could forgive that.

To be clear I am not advocating this.

The Mathlete: Would schools ever enforce that?

Brian: There is absolutely no way that would fly in the current environment where trying to restrict a transfer to a team you're going to play causes vast outrage. Public opinion has shifted so hard against the schools that even stuff I'm fine with--restricting transfers from teams you play--is no longer tenable.

The Mathlete: And could you imagine Michigan going to Rashan Gary right now asking for their scholarship money back?

Brian: That would really perk up recruiting.

[After THE JUMP: We don't really have any answers but there are perspectives]

The tradition continues. See previous for Why.

: Oh, flibblyniblets.

: What’s wrong, April?

: I am trying to surprise my husband with a bowl trip this year but I don’t know how to communicate where we’re going. I thought we were going to the Orange Bowl, but then I looked it up and it said some sort of credit card company.

: Oh, I see what happened.

: You do?

: Why yes, you need COMMON LANGUAGE!

: Lamegwege? What’s that?

: Language! I use it all the time! It’s a body of words—and the systems for their use—that are common to a people who are of the same linguistic community. Here’s how it works:

Words are used to convey meanings that the listener is already conditioned to understand. The words enter the ear canal and are interpreted by the brain into cognitive thoughts.

: But I’ve tried that. What if, like, some credit card company pays to replace the words for a bowl game with their name?

: Silly April, you can’t BUY language! All you have to do is use words that your listener will comprehend.

For example here’s how you refer to all of this year’s bowl games in English:

(bold are the ones where they’ve done away with the real names. All times are EST. Click each logo to get the full size. Use however you like.)

Date/Time	You Call it	They Call It	Since	Teams	Logo
Dec 17	New Mexico	Gildan…	2006	UNM/UTSA
Dec 17	Las Vegas	“	1992	SDSU/Houston
Dec 17	Camellia	Raycom Media…	2014	AppSt/Toledo
Dec 17	Cure	AutoNation…	2015	ArkSt/UCF
Dec 17	New Orleans	R+L Carriers	2001	S.Miss/La-Laf
Dec 19	Miami Beach	“	2014	Tulsa/CMU
Dec 20	Boca Bowl	Boca Raton	2014	WKU/Memphis
Dec 21	Poinsettia	San Diego County Credit Union…	2005	BYU/Wyoming
Dec 22-7pm	Potato	Famous Idaho…	1997	Idaho/CSU
Dec 23-1pm	Bahamas	Popeyes…	2014	EMU/Old Dom
Dec23-4:30	The Military One at TCU	Lockheed Martin Armed Forces	2003	Navy/LaTech
Dec23-8pm	Mobile	Dollar General	1999	Troy/OHIO!
Dec24-8pm	Hawaii	“	2002	Hawaii/MTSU
Dec26-11am	(or Tampa II)	St. Petersburg	2008	MSU (NTMSU)/ Miami (NTM)
Dec26-2:30	Motor City	Quick Lane	2014	Maryland/BC
Dec26-5pm	Independence	Camping World…	1976	NCSt/Vandy
Dec27-noon	Heart of Dallas or Cotton II	Zaxby’s…	2010	Army/N.Tex
Dec27-3:30	The Military one in D.C.	Military Bowl	2008	Temple/Wake
Dec27-7pm	Holiday	National Funding…	1978	Minn/WSU
Dec27-10:15	Cactus (or Copper)	Motel 6…	1989	Baylor/Boise
Dec28-2pm	Pinstripe	New Era…	2010	Pitt/NWern
Dec28=5:30	Tangerine or Citrus II	Russell Athletic	1990	Miami(YTM)/ WVU
Dec28-8:30	San Francisco	Foster Farms	2002	IU/Utah
Dec28-9pm	Texas or Bluebonnet	AdvoCare V100…	2006	A&M/KSU
Dec29-2pm	Birmingham	“	2006	SC/USF
Dec29-5:30	Queen City	Belk	2002	Ark/VT
Dec29-9pm	Alamo	Valero…	1993	OkSt/Colo
Dec30-noon	Liberty	Autozone…	1959	UGA/TCU
Dec30-1pm	Sun Bowl	Hyandai	1934	Stan/UNC
Dec30-3:30	Music City	Franklin American Mortgage…	1998	Neb/Tenn
Dec30-5:30	Arizona	Nova Home Loans…	2016	AF/S.Bama
Dec30-8pm	Orange	Capital One…	1935	Mich/FSU
Dec31-11a	Citrus	Buffalo Wild Wings…	1946	L’ville/LSU
Dec31-11a	Gator	Taxslayer	1945	GT/Kentucky
Dec31-noon	Peach*	Chick-fil-A	1968	Bama/UW
Dec31-7pm	Fiesta*	PlayStation…	1971	Clemson/OSU
Jan2-1pm	Outback (or Hall of Fame)	“	1986	Florida/Iowa
Jan2-1pm	Cotton	Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic	1937	WMU/Wis
Jan2-5pm	Rose	“	1902	PSU/USC
Jan2-8:30p	Sugar	Allstate…	1935	Auburn/Okla
Jan9-8:30p	CFP National Championship		2015	?/?

* semi-final games.

: So I’m a bit less confused, but why is the bowl in Jerryworld called the “Cotton Bowl” when the one played at the Cotton Bowl is called “Heart of Dallas”?

: I guess that’s why they added “Classic” to it, but yeah, words can’t fix everything. They can assist in communication, not guarantee clarity.

: So I can actually use these names to convey meaning to other people who speak the same language as me! Tell me, is this legal?

: Have you entered into a contract with any of the sponsors above where they pay you to replace words in your speech with their names?

: Well, no, that actually sounds kind of...

: yeah.

: …fizzly. Flupped even. Totally flupped beyond wizzly fizzy.

: Glad we had this conversation.

[Bryon Houlgrave/The Register]

The question (posed by Brian):

Leonard Fournette sitting out the bowl game was one thing, since he might be injured. A hale and hearty Christian McCaffrey getting out of Dodge before the Sun Bowl seems like another. How do we feel about this?

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Seth: First let's take as a given that "hale and hearty" for a football player is relative.

Brian: I mean sure. I just kind of... I don't want to be Old Man Newspaper here but I find myself bothered by this despite being pretty woke about player compensation issues.

Ace: I’m totally fine with it. While McCaffrey may not be hurt, he’s carried a hell of a workload. 290 offensive touches this year, 385 last year, plus returns, and his teammates—at least publicly—are in full support.

This isn’t even the Rose Bowl like last year. It’s the Sun Bowl. If his teammates are cool with him missing a glorified exhibition to get ready to actually get paid for his work, I’m not one to argue.

Brian: Is there a line above which you would be bothered? Where is that line?

Ace: If there are stakes.

Brian: Okay, so Sun Bowl can GTFO. Citrus?

Ace: Honestly, I can understand a player of McCaffrey’s caliber skipping any non-playoff appearance.

Brian: Dude! So Stanford's in the Rose again and you're totally fine with him dropping his pants on An American Institution?

Ace: I don’t blame the kid for that. I blame him not getting paid. The incentives are all kinds of messed up. That’s not McCaffrey’s fault. Plus, the Rose Bowl will still have the parade and the bands at halftime and that gorgeous stadium. It’ll be fine.

Seth: There's also a place where you can be disappointed at the guy without treating him like he is violating the Constitution. One of the first things I noticed was the level of vitriol and who it was coming from. When you find yourself on the same side as the guy talking about the "me first" generation you wonder if you're on the right side.

Ace: I’ll admit part of my stance is predicted on always being on the other side of the people screaming “DAMN MILLENNIALS."

Brian: I do kind of like that it puts the NCAA's total lack of leverage on display.
But... I mean... if Peppers peaced out before the Orange Bowl you wouldn't be disappointed?

Ace: I’d be disappointed, sure, but I still wouldn’t get upset at Peppers about it.

Seth: Things like Wilton Speight and Devin Gardner playing against Ohio State, or Robot Chad Henne  vs MSU, are extraordinary because that is a stupid decision they're making on our behalf. If that is the norm then why appreciate it? Gardner sitting out the Copper Bowl was a no-brainer, because it’s the Copper Bowl. Playing in The Game meant something, even at the end of a breakdown season, because it’s The Game.

Brian: I still like to think that there's a romantic THE TEAM THE TEAM THE TEAM heart to this. Ed Reed!

I think it would be shitty to your teammates.

[Hit THE JUMP for shattered dreams of kinds]