About Last Week:

Note from Samuel L. Jackson to Big Ten defenders: hold onto your Butts.

The Road Ahead:

Utah (2-0, 0-0 PAC-12)

Yep. Them.

Last game: Bye

Recap: No recap. Bye.

This team is as frightening as: I am of two minds. The first is that Utah hasn’t played anyone yet, so their two blowouts provide us almost no information. They beat Fresno State by 32… which is the closest the Bulldogs have kept a game this year (they lost by 36 at Nebraska and 39 to USC). They also beat Idaho State by 42, and at least Idaho State has won a game this year. Over Division II Chadron State. By 5. The point is that if you think the transitive property of college football is unreliable, believe me when I say that the second order transitive property is slightly more unreliable.

On the other mind, Utah has an experienced QB, a very talented receiver, a couple of quality running backs, and a defense that can walk and chew gum at the same time. And Michigan really needs this one. Fear Level = 7.

Michigan should worry about: Dres Anderson. The wide receiver is averaging 27.8 yards per catch. Which is many.

Michigan can sleep soundly about: This will be Utah’s first road game of the year. It will also be Utah’s first game against a team with a pulse.

/checks Michigan for a pulse

/waits

/moves fingers to slightly different location on Michigan’s wrist.

HA. Totally feel a pulse. Knew it all along.

When they play Michigan: The clenching. So much clenching.

Next game: @ Michigan (UM -6), 3:30 Saturday (ABC/ESPN2)

Minnesota (2-1, 0-0 B1G)

Last game: Woodshedded by TCU, 30-7

Recap: Minnesota’s team is designed around one thing: running the ball effectively. TCU stuffed Minnesota’s running game. The results were… predictable.

Minnesota ran for 2.5 yards per carry, and David Cobb was held to 41 yards on 15 carries. In the first half, Minnesota put up 111 yards of offense in nine drives. Those drives ended in three turnovers, five punts, and the sweet mercy of the halftime gun. By then TCU led 24-0, which they extended to 30-0 in the third quarter before calling off the frogs.

Mitch Leidner finished 12 of 26 for 151 yards (5.8 YPA) and 3 picks. And if THAT wasn’t enough, he ended up with a foot injury (reports are mixed between a broken toe, turf toe, and a general angering of the gypsy). He’s also coming off of a sprained MCL two weeks ago. His backup, Chris Streveler, is a redshirt freshman. I wonder if he knows how to throw a football?

I’m pretty sure “Flick the Booger” is actually Minnesota’s motto this year.

This team is as frightening as: Fighting a guy you’ve fought a bunch, and who you’ve beaten 39 of the last 42 times. Except this time he has one arm tied behind his back. And the other arm has turf toe. Fear Level = 3

Michigan should worry about: You know what you’d get from Leidner, and it is the kind of thing that Michigan is ideally suited to stop. If Streveler is in, maybe he gives Minnesota an added dimension of some kind. Like, he can throw a football. Kind of.

Michigan can sleep soundly about: The most frightening thing I could think of was “maybe Minnesota will be starting a freshman.”

When they play Michigan: Booooooooring. But in a good way.

Next game: vs. San Jose State, 4:00 p.m. Saturday

[After the jump: OH MAH GAWD IS THAT MILEY'S MUSIC???]