bo ryan is pretty much alien hitler

[Bryan Fuller]

Every year draft pundits select one Big Ten quarterback to inexplicably hype up as a draft prospect. Mitch Leidner, Brian Lewerke, Clayton Thorson, Nate Stanley: if you're tall and remind a draft analyst of either the quarterbacks of his boyhood or a horse with arms bolted on there's a fair chance someone is going to wildly overrate you going into your senior year. Sometimes the analysts can even be right, as they were with Jets second-round pick Christian Hackenberg, and still be spiritually wrong.

After profanity-laced AAF washout, Christian Hackenberg may be out of options

Analysts who had Christian Hackenberg high in their rankings agree with the Jets. This is technically correct. It doesn't count.

In the three media-open OTAs, Hackenberg hit reporters with passes twice.

Hackenberg goes on the list. So does Tanner Lee despite going in the sixth round. Some of the deranged analysts work for the Jets and Jaguars, is all.

This is fine. We point and laugh, and then go about our days. It's our fun little tradition. Unfortunately, we're now beyond the gentle mocking stage.

[After THE JUMP: the take to end takes]

very same [Patrick Barron]

1/19/2019 – Michigan 54, Wisconsin 64 – 17-1, 6-1 Big Ten

I've already written the column about how playing games at the Trohl Center is an experience that makes you think you're the last human in the land of the bug people, and hoo boy was this a shining example of the genre. The ends of each half, taken together, are kind of amazing. The end of the first half: Wisconsin has multiple fouls to give at the end of the first half and is trying to use them, but the a guy intentionally grabbing a Michigan player doesn't get called for two or three seconds. Michigan's left with under two seconds on the clock and does not convert.

The end of the second: Ethan Happ briefly touches the ball with Michigan down three and gets rid of it; immediately afterward Brazdeikis grabs him, in the way of late game basketball. This too is ignored. When Iggy goes back to foul Happ again, this time completely away from the ball, he's called for a flagrant 1. That essentially ends the game.

I don't really know what you're supposed to do when the referees can't even get the fouls both teams are trying to commit right. When you've got an apoplectic John Beilein at midcourt being held back by his assistants you've screwed up. You made First Episode Walter White mad! He drives a minivan and loves his children! GAH!

It would be nice if Michigan's basketball team was so good it could power through batshit road garbage at the Trohliest of all Centers, but if it was it would have so much power that it could not be permitted off a military base. It's a harsh reality check for a team that had played just one game that went down to the final couple minutes.

GRIM. This kind of offensive performance is a once-every-few-years occurrence:

That was the let's-drink-some-bleach South Carolina game, when Michigan was 8/26 from two and 2/26 from three. Michigan finished that season with the #4 offense in the country after Derrick Walton blew up midseason.

That was on another level in terms of offensive futility. Michigan shot 47%/28%, which is real bad but not the abomination that the South Carolina game was. Michigan's main problem was  giant turnover rate—almost one in every four Michigan possessions ended in a turnover. That was spread almost equally throughout the roster.

[After THE JUMP: Teske though?]

bo-ryan-past-life

THE ESSENTIALS

WHAT Michigan (12-7, 5-2 B1G) vs

Wisconsin (17-2, 5-1)
WHERE Crisler Center,

Ann Arbor, Michigan
WHEN 7 pm ET, Saturday
LINE Wisconsin -8 (KenPom)
TV ESPN

PBP: Dan Shulman

Analyst: Jay Bilas

THE SCARILY ON-POINT EMAIL

From a reader, who attached the photo on the right:

Bo Ryan is some sort of evil immortal god, who took the identity, for a time of a masochistic German psychiatrist, Johann Christian Reil, who was into, among other things, pouring hot wax on mental patients, placing them in tubs of live eels, and playing the cat organ.

Yeah, this checks out.

THE STAKES

Beating Wisconsin would qualify as an upset, even at home. Should Michigan pull it off, they'd move ahead of the Badgers by virtue of having an extra win in hand, and could take first place in the Big Ten if Indiana falls at Ohio State on Sunday.

THE LINEUP CARD

Projected starters are in bold. Hover over headers for stat explanations. The "Should I Be Mad If He Hits A Three" methodology: we're mad if a guy who's not good at shooting somehow hits one. Yes, you're still allowed to be unhappy if a proven shooter is left open. It's a free country.

Pos. # Name Yr. Ht./Wt. %Min %Poss SIBMIHHAT
G 24 Bronson Koenig So. 6'4, 190 55 14 No
Low usage, very efficient PG. Has been on fire in B1G play (70% eFG).
G 21 Josh Gasser Sr. 6'4, 192 74 12 No
DEATH TO BACKBOARDS
F 15 Sam Dekker Jr. 6'9, 230 69 23 No
Improved as shooter, now very efficient as #2 option.
F 10 Nigel Hayes So. 6'8, 235 79 20 No
Excellent rebounder, nice touch around hoop, now has 3-pt range.
C 44 Frank Kaminsky Sr. 7'0, 234 72 28 No
1st in KenPom POY race. Nightmare matchup, can score in post or bomb threes.
F 13 Duje Dukan Sr. 6'10, 218 42 20 No
Solid inside/outside threat. Not nearly as good a rebounder as Kaminsky.
F 30 Vitto Brown So. 6'8, 237 21 20 Very
Good rebounder, not a huge offensive threat.
G 3 Zak Showalter So. 6'2, 185 14 21 Yes
Not much of a shooter or passer, but bizarrely good rebounder for small G.

THE RESUME

Wisconsin has lost just two games this year, one at home to Duke on a night when the Blue Devils looks unbeatable, the other on the road to... Rutgers. In fairness, the latter occurred while Frank Kaminsky was briefly sidelined, but it's still one of the strangest results of this season.

The Badgers have tallied nine wins against top-100 KenPom squads, including a 13-point neutral court handling of #10 Oklahoma. Eight of their wins have come by 20 points or more, including Tuesday's 82-50 thrashing of #44 Iowa. They've ranked in between #4 and #6 on KenPom the entire season, and currently sit at #5.

In short, they're really good.

[Hit THE JUMP for the rest of the preview.]