Preface: not sure if this is Board or Diary material, and just in case this is a Mom-worthy offense I wanted to get this in today before OT season ends and there are consequences.
We've been jokingly thanking Jed York for a long time on this blog for being himself and firing Harbaugh, which delivered one of the best coaches in the game right into Michigan's lap. Someone on the board made a joke very early on about sending him - York - a gift basket, and I (and others) picked up on that. The last time I joked that Michigan fan should chip in to send Jed York a fruit basket and thank you note every year, there were a few people who responded that they'd be willing to donate their money to it, and that I should set up a Kickstarter (or something similar). That got me thinking about costs, effort, and how little I want to set up a crowd-funding request every year.
So instead, my thought was that we could set up a trust whose sole purpose would be to purchase a fruit basket for Jed York each year for the remainder of his life, and flowers for his grave each year after his death. Seriously. Well, half seriously.
I want to gauge interest, and see if an MGoAttorney could weigh in on whether this is possible, and maybe the yearly administrative costs. At the very least, this is a diary about what it takes to properly thank a man for 100 years for his decision to be a power-hungry jerk.
Long story short, for less than $30k, it's possible to buy a fruit basket and have it delivered to Jed York each year until he dies, after which the trust would buy flowers to be delivered to his grave once per year, until the money runs out 100 years from now.
The pension finance expert in me needs to share my actuarial assumptions, which are on the conservative side. I think we have a couple MGoActuaries here, and this is actually a pretty simple math problem, so any validation of these figures would be appreciated.
|Age at death||100|
|Years after death to deliver flowers||35|
|Cost of fruit basket today||$125|
|Fruit basket inflation||5%|
|Cost of fruit basket delivery toda||$15|
|Fruit basket delivery inflation||5%|
|Cost of flower delivery today||$80|
|Flower delivery inflation||5%|
|Cost of setting up a trust (is this accurate??)||$500|
|Yearly administratiive costs for a trust (is this accurate??)||$500|
|Administrative cost inflation||2%|
|Expected annual investment return net of fees||5%|
|Trust years of operation||100|
|Lump sum funding requirement||$25,195.04|
I wish I could attach my excel spreadsheet, because it gets hilarious in the later years.
What do you all think? I think it would hilarious to annually remind Mr. York, and his kids, and his grandkids, about an awful management decision he made in his early 30s. This trust would outlive Jed York and all of us, so by contributing to this, you'd make sure that part of your Michigan fandom - specifically, the ironic and vindictive side - carries on for a whole century. That's the Michigan difference. Go Blue.
I'm trying to start a new dynasty league on ESPN. It's a 14 team, 0.5 PPR league with $25 buy in each year. League fees will be handled on leaguesafe.com The league is designed to mirror the current BIG Ten divisions, with 7 teams split into East and West. Full league settings are in the link in the first comment. Draft time is set for this Tuesday, August 30 at 7:00 ET. If interested, please comment with your email and which team you'd like to take. This is the first place I've come to find owners, so all 13 teams outside of Indiana are available.
Alpena High School debuted some new football helmets last night, along with a new Winged T offense that called to mind Fritz Crisler and the Mad Magicians. The result wasn't the same on the scoreboard, but it's a work in progress with a new head coach and a new system.
Bottom line: green and white never looked so good.
Alpena High for years has used "Varsity" as its fight song (duly substituting "Alpena" for "Michigan" and "green and white" for "maize and blue"), and last night the band played a scaled-down arrangement of "Temptation" as its first on-field number before the game, and on defensive stops.
Alpena players also ran under a banner between a tunnel of band members before the game.
It appears they're trying to make both sides of a fairly evenly split town (which has been trending toward MSU the last several years because obvs) pretty happy.
A big boost for U-M in town however: the locally owned hospital was just bought by MidMichigan Health, which is a U-M affiliate. There's now maize and blue and the Block M all over the hospital, which is the biggest employer in town.
We're nearly a week away, and I know a lot of you love the wallpapers posted on this here blog. I'm always excited to update my background each season (sometimes multiple times per season), and this year's batch of backgrounds hasn't disappointed.
What I want to know is, what wallpaper are you going with for kickoff? Personally, I'm rocking this gem from Blue and Joe:
Post which wallpaper you're going with. If you haven't changed yours yet, then you have 7 days to get it together! Those posted to the board/diaries for reference:
[And if you have Michigan-themed wallpaper in your house, then go ahead and share that too: OT season is almost over.]
I took a quick trip to Virginia this week and bought a book from the airport bookstore like I sometimes do. They had a Jack Reacher novel by Lee Child for only $9.99. I've never read any of those books before but I did watch the Jack Reacher movie on HBO this summer and it wasn't horrible, so I figured, "why not."
(It's worth pointing out that Jack Reacher in the books is 6' 5", 250 pounds whereas in the movie, he was played by Tom Cruise who is not 6' 5" nor 250 pounds.)
In this particular Reacher novel, he's wandering the vast wasteland of Nebraska during the winter. One family of no-good, ne'er do-wells has taken over the one-stop-sign town. The three Duncan brothers have set up a trucking syndicate engaged in some illicit activities. To protect their vast trucking enterprise, they hired 10 former Nebraska Cornhusker offensive linemen. These guys are all described as being 6'6" to 6'7" and 300+ pounds. Every 20-30 pages or so, Reacher takes out one of the former Cornhusker lineman. First, it's a kick to the knee that crushes the kneecap and damages ligaments. Then, he pops a guy in the elbow breaking his arm. Another time, Reacher is able to get the Cornhusker lineman to wedge his SUV between a rock outcropping. Reacher lets the oil out of the SUV unbeknownst to the lineman who proceeds to damage his automobile to the point where it explodes. And in one amazing scene, he waits in a farmhouse as one after another lineman enters only to be greeted by a wrench to the back of the head. Having been knocked out, Reacher hog ties his victims with duct tape.
I thoroughly enjoyed the book, finding it just long enough to fill 10 hours of a round-trip coast-to-coast trip. If you enjoy schadenfreude related to former Nebraska Cornhusker lineman, I highly recommend this book.
P.S. the name of the book is "Worth Dying For."
Was checking ESPN's UM football site and happened to see this combination of banner ad and headline story/photo. Thoughts?