alternate headline: man does job
It was a great week to be a Michigan Wolverine. We signed the #1 player in the country and pulled in a top 5 class.
How are you celebrating?
“I’ve reached the point where I do everything my wife tells me to do, I do it exactly how she tells me to do it, and I do it that way, over and over and over again, I try not to screw it up,” he said. “I’ve found that brings happiness and have enjoyed quite a bit of success with that formula. I will continue down that path.”I wish I'd learned that 33 years ago.
Reading yesterday’s T.W.O./Roundtable, specifically the bit on recruit names, got me thinking about great Michigan player names over the years. So this is my list. It only includes players I can actually remember watching play, so “All-Time” actually only means “since 1974.” Ace hit the nail on the head with the Keith Jackson test, so I was definitely imagining Keith saying each name, as well as Howard King (I’ve only seen a handful of games with Grapentine), and whoanellie is it fun! You should totally try it! So that was the main deciding factor for most of the names on my list. How I decided how to break down the positions, how many of each position to include, etc., was pretty much arbitrary, based on my whims. Your whims may differ. It’s all about the whimsy. Here’s my list:
QB: Elvis Grbac— Elvis, yes, but also Grbac is the right kind of short and strong to fit happily in the play-by-play. Plus its first syllable has no vowel
RB: Harlan Huckleby— Go ahead, say this one out loud: it just rolls
RB: Tshimanga Baikabutuka— Some people shorten the first name to “Tim.” People not me
FB: Jarrod Bunch
TE: Bennie Joppru
TE: Jake Butt— “Dear Football, Please accept our gift to you: our son, Jake Butt, Tight End. Sincerely, Mr. and Mrs. Butt”
WR: Triando Markray— I always hear it with the accent on –ray, which I hope is correct, because it’s fabulous
WR: Felman Malveaux
WR: Martavious Odoms— I feel like “Martavious” should be an adjective
OT: Mark Huyge— Unfortunately not pronounced the way we want it to be, so this one’s in just based on what it looks like in print or on the back of his jersey
OT: Trezelle Jenkins
OG: Dean Dingman
OG: Mark Hammerstein— Hammer + stein which is German for stone or a beer vessel. But even so, it just sounds strong
C: Rod Payne— Opposite of Huyge, this one’s all about what it sounds like, and implications thereof
CB: Ty Law— Even if you knew nothing about him, you would not want to mess with someone named Ty Law
CB: Boubacar Cissoko
S: Tripp Welborne
S: Shonte Peoples
DT: Mike Hammerstein— See brother Mark, above. I think Mike actually makes it sound even stronger
DT: Ninef Aghakhan
DE: Glen Steele— Announcers always made a thing out of Steele, Sword, Irons, and usually also Swett. I guess it could have gotten annoying, but I always kinda liked it. Because it IS cool
DE: Taco Charlton
LB: Jarrett Irons— See Glen Steele, above
LB: Sam Sword— See Glen Steele, above
LB: Rob Swett— See Glen Steele, above
K: Ali Haji-Sheikh— The best announcers really made this name boom. Kinda like his kickoffs, which routinely went through the end zone
P: Zoltan Mesko— It’s a close contest between this and Jake Butt, Tight End for #1 all-time
One additional note: looking at the old team pages on Bentley I saw a lot of variations in position names over the years. I classed Flankers, Wing Backs, and Split Ends all as WRs. Defensive Guards and Tackles are all DTs. Wolfman is a S. Actually Wolfman is Jabrill Peppers. It may be up to us to start calling him that, though, if the coaching staff won’t. I think we need to make this happen.